Rising Fire
by E.W.S. Miami
Summary: Book Four - This is my own story of how Peeta & Katniss grew back together. Written from after Peeta comes back to District 12. The characters come from Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games Trilogy. It is written through the eyes of Peeta Mellark.
1. Chapter 1

PART I

"The White Shirt"

Chapter One

The house always seems empty in the early mornings. The stillness of the house is something that to this day I still cannot get use to. It has been almost three years since the Reaping of the 74th Hunger Games. So much has happened and yet it feels like it was just yesterday that I saw her for the first time.

I just lie there in my bed staring at the wood ceiling. No bird singing yet, but soon enough like clockwork they would be the world's alarm clock. My first thought is always my desire to know if she slept without nightmares. It has been a while since either of us has had a good night sleep. I lift my hands and can see the burn scar starting from my left hand and works around my arm, like a vine.

My muscles ache, not fully understanding that I am only going to be eighteen. I slowly let out a deep sigh and turn placing my right foot on the ground. I run my fingers through my hair trying to wake myself up. It just lays there, an unwanted reminder of our first Hunger Games, my artificial leg. I reach for it, and slowly slip it on.

Standing I walk over to the window and look outside. I wipe off the dew from the window and can see the newly planted primroses. It still feels hollow inside, thinking about all the people we have lost, friends that we will never get to speak to again. Even people that we wish we could have gotten to know better.

There is no one outside and I can see the dew on the window. I hear someone downstairs, walk over to my bed and remove the knife I had place under the pillow. The sound seems to be coming from the kitchen, I think to myself, as I take each step as quietly as I can.

Katniss always told me that I was way too noisy to ever hunt out in the forest. It is hard to walk on the balls of your feet if one of your foot isn't your own.

Walking down the stairs, I am almost to the bottom of the steps until my left foot touches a step that cricks.

"Peeta, come into the kitchen, breakfast is almost ready." She says.

I let the knife drop on the ground, which hardly makes a sound as the point digs into the wooden floor. Walking in, I see the little old woman from the Hobb, Sae O'Connor cracking an egg on the countertop. She turns around, looks me up and down and finally says.

"Be a darling and cut some of the bread with that knife you just dropped." She says. "Alcohol's below the sink, lighter is in the drawer to the left."

In disbelief I walk back pick up the knife. Walking over to the sink I open the cupboard and grab the alcohol. I did this once. Where was I? I shake my head not really put mind to it. There are still holes in my memories from the torture by the Capitol. I unscrew the bottle of alcohol and pour a little on the knife blade. Opening the left drawer I see the lighter. Placing it to the blade the fire burns off any excess alcohol from the blade.

"How did you…" I start to say.

"You are talking to a fifth generation hunter, not to mention I was a cook in a black market trading post. You learn to pick up a few things." She says.

She is an older woman, however strong. Never would have guessed her to be a hunter but wouldn't doubt it. Fifth generation, just the thought of having to live your life always by what you are able to catch, seems right, seems not wasteful.

I slice the bread that was given to her by the new government. Care packages for those refugees that are being relocated from their original District should they wish a fresh new start. The bread doesn't ring true to our District, but I look at it carefully.

I place the slices on a plate and place them on the table. Asking if I could be of help, Sae just motions that I just sit down as the food is almost ready. I sit down and just examine the bread slices, before I take a bite.

"Sae, do you know where I can get some cooking ingredients?" I ask.

"What do you need?" She says.

"Flour, eggs, sugar, salt and of course some cheese, you know the usual," I say.

"Will put in the request, typically it takes a couple of days to process and then get it here. You should get it by the beginning of next week." She says. "But if you need it quicker, I think there are some people that have flour, which is the only thing that would have to order."

Even now after all this, flour is still hard to find. My day would always have to store it and use very little to spread it out for the year. We typically would get at least one to two extra bags from spreading it out.

The thought of the bakery causes a small tremble in my hands. I quickly move it to my lap as I do not want anyone to see that I have not yet fully healed, People tend to look at your differently if they believe that you are going to go crazy on them.

I close my eyes and start to breath in and out, thinking about all the good memories of my father and the bakery.

'Think of the good, and accept the bad,' Doctor Aurelis told me once in a session.

She places the plate on the table, scramble eggs, bread and some hash browns.

"Well I am off," she says. "Do you need anything else before I leave?"

"Going next door?" I ask.

"She is a late riser," she says.

"How is she?" I ask,

"Come see for yourself, don't think she would mind the company." She says.

I nod, and tell her that I might have to take that advice. She walks out and I can see her through the window as she walks over to Katniss's house.

It has been a couple of weeks since I last saw her. I can still feel the embrace she gave me as was leaving her house. It was only a couple of seconds, but it is something that we both needed, well at least I'd like to think she did as well.

I lift my hands to my chest where I remember her hands were. The warm palms near my heart, the sensation is still very present in my mind, almost like they are still there. Taking a deep breath, I continue to eat my breakfast finishing up. The worst thing I could do is push her, when she isn't ready, when she is still grieving. It was how I felt when I learned of my family's death. I didn't even want to see myself; I just wanted to hold onto to the pain, because I felt if I didn't then I would forget them.

It seems silly but, it is how my mind works. It is like the feeling of seeing yourself in the mirror. Sometimes if I go days without looking at myself in a reflection I forget about the burns that I have. I almost feel like myself. That is until I look down at my hands, or look at my left foot, or feel the trembling of my hands. It has been a while since I have had a full blown out episode. Last one I think was back in treatment with Doctor Aurelis. I definitely learned a lot about re-patching walls and building chairs.

'If you cannot control your body, then your body will control you. We will tire out your body by doing manual work, in consequence for losing control.'

After taking a shower and getting dressed, X with the clothes that were still there from before the Quell, I place the knife in the back of the waist line of my pants. I grab two shirts, an old red one, and an old white shirt from the closet, an apple from the kitchen, and my sketch book from among the packed boxes that I have yet to unpack. There is the backpack that the District Thirteen military had given every soldier. I look at it, and see the many scruffs and rips from the war. I open the flap and stuff in the red shirt, two apples, and my sketch book.

Walking outside, I look at the road that would take me to the Square and find myself not wishing to go down that way. Don't think that I am ready just yet to face where the bakery use to be. Nightmares have made that place as real as it can be, without having to touch it. I know however that one day I will have to walk down and face it, just not today.

Along the fence I still see the sign that says, 'warning electrified' and smirk at the idea. There was probably only once when that fence was fully electrified. Near the rear of my house where I found the primroses I find a hole in the fence. I take out the apple and toss it towards the fence. After it hits the ground with no sparks I take note that the fence is not on. I walk over to the hole and slip through it.

Immediately I sense that although it is the daytime, it is still the wild. I remove the knife from the waistline and walk brisk fully along the trees. After about thirty yards I take out the red shirt and rip off a piece of it. I find a branch that I can tie it to and make sure that the shirt faces towards the fence.

Basic survival skills that District Thirteen taught me are still very much an automatic response. I start to travel for about two hours or so, until I reach the top of valley.

'If you could go anywhere, where would you go?' I ask.

'Anywhere?' she says.

'Yes, anywhere.' I repeat.

'There is a little house by a lake in the forest. My father use to take me there.' She says.

I grab the sketch book and begin to sketch out the map of where I am and where the Victor's village is. I place a circle and label it.

'Not here'

Place the sketch book down and cut the apple in small pieces. I spend the next couple of hours, sketching a mockingjay flying in flight between the trees. The play of light through the wings is amazing and the trees create a sort of canopy. I pick up the sketch book and start to sketch the memory of it through the trees.

Standing up, I take a deep breath, and smile. It feels better outside of the District when no one knows who you are and you can just be yourself. People see you and seeing how the Games were televised and our story was all that people could talk about, they have a certain perception of who we are, and how we would react. It is a tough burden to have to constantly have to keep going. When no one knows who you are, they form their own opinions of you by how you act, not by what the Games, or the War or the Trial says I am.

To everyone outside of District Twelve, I am this damaged person, who cannot keep it together. Given a pardon by the council because of what they did to me, and not because of our intentions. It is hard to swallow that you are alive only because of the torture. I can still remember the many times that I wished to die, even begged Katniss to do it. She wouldn't.

I look at my right hand and see the stitches on the fingers where her teeth broke skin that couldn't heal wouldn't needle and thread. The pain of that day was nothing compared to the pain that I would feel if I had lost her.

It was the only thing I could do. It wasn't something that I had a long time to think about. It was what my reaction was. I know that if she were not here anymore, that I would never make it myself. Probably one day I will tell her how much she means to me. Does she even know?

It is getting into the afternoon when I realize that if I am going to make it back before it became dark that I would have to begin to hike back. I rip off a piece of the white shirt and tie a piece of it on the limb where I had stopped. I look around and find the red marker. I see it to the left of tree and begin to walk towards it.

Once I reach the marker I look at the location of the placement and look in that direction. Once I see the next marker, I know that I am only two more markers before I reach the fence. At thirty yards each marker, I know that I am about ninety feet.

Reaching the fence after about another hour of walking slowly through the forest, I realized that this is what she would do almost every day before the Games. Although she would bring back a full bag and not just an apple like I was, she would not do it for the survival of her family. That was more of a given through her skills. This was the first time that I realized that she would go out to the forest to finally find freedom. She would understand the need to not be known, and I finally understand her need to not be bound. She truly is a bird, although now she doesn't know where to fly.

Walking towards my door I see her peering out of the window. I lift my hand to wave, and find that she has walked away from the window. Brings a level of sadness that I thought didn't exist. Who can stand someone they love being trapped?

I see a package in front of my door. It is a small box tied in twine with a note taped to the door.

'Thought you might need this. Sae told me you were looking for it. Delly'

I pick up the box and walk inside. Once at the kitchen table I pull out my knife and take off the twine. Ripping off the paper and opening the box, I smile at the sight of two small bags of flour and cheddar cheese.

"Well now is as a good a time as any to start," I say out loud.

Washing my hands in the sink, I clear out a good large area in the counter top. A metal pan from the closet is needed. I cut out a triangle at the corner and in a cut I place a little bit of flour. A little bit of water, yeast, sugar and a pinch of salt.

'Cheese buns.' I say.

'Cheese buns?' my father replies. 'Well come in and let's get started on a receipt.'

I can feel the tears coming. We must have spent hours trying to get the right consistency before it was just right.

I work the mixture into dough; my hands work it until it is finally smooth, consistent dough. We must have had gone through five bags of flour before we got it just right.

I let out a small chuckle. To him it didn't matter to waste so much, to get it just right. You could tell how much he loved me that he would do that because I finally had figured out what was her favorite.

I wipe away my tear with my forearm; lift up my eyes to the ceiling. Why does it hurt so much to lose someone? Is it selfish to always want them there? We all die sooner or later, but love causes us to be selfish, well I think. I wanted him to be here.

Grabbing a handful of lard, I spread the pan with a thin coat of it.

'If we were in the Capitol, they have something that is called olive oil.' He says.

'Olive oil?' I say. 'Oil squeezed from an olive?'

'It isn't the easiest thing to do, but it is healthier though. That is why you have to use a very thin coat of lard. It gives you that toasty outside cover.' He says.

I place small clumps of dough on the pan. Once in the pan I start to roll the dough into balls.

'Now we have to get the right size. Too big and it would be too much bread and not enough cheese. Too small and you don't get enough to enjoy. So this is the trick to get it just right. The right consistency of bread and cheese.' He says.

The secret out of all things came from the pencil. We were just about to give up, when I stabbed the ball with a pencil and shove it halfway in. Looked like a big lollipop. We looked at it, and made a ball to fit the half a pencil which is about three and a half inches.

'Proper length for bread?' he says. 'Get out your arm and from the tip of your finger to the elbow. Well my arm, yours would be too small.'

That was what he told me when I was only six.

The tears start to come down as the memories flood. It is enough to get me so weak that I have to sit down. He is gone. Everything that I couldn't have learned from him is because he is gone. He will never walk through the door and teach me new things. All I can do is to hold onto the teachings that he had given me.

I stand and grab the cheese grader and start to grade the cheese onto the balls. After doing that, I roll the ball onto the cheese and finally it is ready to be cooked.

Placing them in the oven, I sit down and start to weep on the chair in the kitchen. Thinking of the father lost, of the family that I will never have. In an empty kitchen, I just think of all that I have lost, everything that I had suffered through.

The timer sounds off and I can smell them. They smell just like it did when we finally got it right. The cheese brought down my brothers and my mother.

When it came out, my father stopped them all from grabbing them. He placed them in a box and smile.

'Here you go,' he says. 'Directly from the oven of the Mellarks.'

The cheese buns now on a plate, I look at them.

The only word that comes out of my mouth, to an empty kitchen, in an empty house, is whispered so that no one could hear but me and him.

'Thank you for everything.'

I walk towards the door and outside. Walking towards her house I can see the lights are still on, and the windows are still opened.

Coming onto the porch of her house I stand in front of her door. My hand reaches out and knocks on the door.

After about three or four minutes just standing there, I hear the door open and there stands before me. The girl from Seam.

She looks down at the plate of cheese buns, which not only cost me a couple of hours, but was the last memory I have of him.

She smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Real," she says.

I look at her confused.

"What do you mean real?" I ask.

"These are my favorite." She says.

I look at her and smile.

"I remembered." I say. "I have been remembering a lot recently. Although some memories are still confusing."

She motions to me to come inside. I look around and find that mail that has piled up on the end table. She grabs the plate with the cheese buns and places them on the coffee table. We sit down on the sofa where I see that she has been sleeping. I can see underneath the sofa balled up tissues, the evidence of crying.

I know that feeling, not being able to face a place that causes too much painful memories.

"Thank you for the cheese buns," she says. "Do you want one?"

I accept her offer and we bite into the buns. The flavor is good although, a wood oven would work best to hold in the flavor. We had two wood ovens in the bakery; the lower one always burned the hottest so that is where we would place the breads. The top one would be the pastries.

"Not sleeping much," I say.

She shakes her head no. I can see from her eyes that she had been crying. Even now just the mention of not sleeping causes her breath to shorten and her eyes to begin to water.

Without hesitation I open my arms, and she just collapses into them, placing her hands on my chest. The crying is intense and all I can do is hold her and tell her to let it all out. She starts to shake uncontrollably, and all I do is move in closer and hold tighter in my arms.

Behind her I see a blanket. I reach over and place the blanket over her as I feel her arms reach around my waist and up my back. The shaking begins to slow subside and I can still her sniffling coming from her. I start to loosen my arms from around her and can feel she isn't ready to let go, as her arms tighten around me.

My hands move from her waist up to her hand and I start to caress her hair trying to calm her down. It is the realization that without her mother, and Gale, she is just like me alone with no family. We can say that Haymitch is as close of a family member as we can get, but we all know that it isn't the same.

Her hands start to release and her head gently rises from her little nook that she created in my chest. I look down and see her eyes. I move my hands to wipe the tears from her cheeks. She closes her eyes and places her face warmly in my hands.

"There, no more tears," I say.

"Stupid cat," she says. "Should have drowned it when I had the chance."

She lets out a small laugh and all I can do is wonder what she meant.

My look of puzzlement causes her to explain.

"The stupid cat came here looking for her, and when I couldn't get it to leave, it was like everything came out." She says. "Now I can't get it to stop."

In the kitchen I see him, just sitting there licking his paw, and meowing. She turns back and sees him.

"I can still do it you know; no one can stop me now." She says.

She turns and sees me smiling. She moves back and covers herself with the blanket that I placed on her back. The cool night wind breezes in, and I see her shiver a little bit at the feeling.

Walking over to the window, I hear her.

"Don't close the window." She says. "Trying to get rid of the smell."

I take a whiff and find that there is no smell, other than the cheese buns. She looks at me trying to find the smell that she is talking about. She explains that the smell from the rose that President Snow left in her room. That she can still smell it.

"Was that what you threw in the fire two weeks ago?" I ask.

She nods and lifts up the blanket to cover her nose. I look at her and sometimes she surprises me. The fearless hunter that would take on the Capitol and all the Victors of past Hunger Games, the girl who if it meant saving someone else life would put her own down, can sometimes seem as delicate and as innocent as a child exploring the world for the first time.

I make my way to the fireplace and place another log in the fire to help kindle it. Turning around I see that her looking at me. Immediately I feel inadequate as the day I wanted to talk to her back in school. It is something about those eyes that can cut through my defenses so quickly, that can see who I truly am inside.

"So some memories are still confusing?" she asks. "Which ones?"

I walk over to the chair and sit down looking at her. This is who she is, grieving and still wishing to help me.

"It can wait," I say. "Don't want to burden you with memories that you want to forget and I am trying to remember."

"It is okay," she says.

I look at her, and I can see that although it would entirely painful for her, she wants to help.

"Still trying to save me?" I say. "Real or not real."

"Real," she says. "Still trying to save me? Real or not real."

"Will always be real." I say.

She yawns and I can see her eyes start to droop. I stand and walk over to her. Leaning over, I kiss her on her forehead.

"Rest now," I say. "We can continue this tomorrow."

Turning around I feel her hand grab mine. I turn and see her.

"Can you do me a favor?" She asks. "Stay until I fall asleep?"

"Of course Katniss," I say sitting down on the chair again.

She nuzzles herself back into the sofa, looking at me. There is nothing said we only enough the presence of each other's company. After about thirty minutes or so, she starts to close her eyes and finally after five minutes of fighting it, finally goes to sleep.

I stand up and go to the kitchen where the light had been turned on. After turning it off, I walk back and as I walk pass the sofa; I brush the single strands of hair off her face, caressing it. It is odd, that I cannot place where I did this for the first time, but it feels just as right as breathing.

I walk and sit there, watching her sleep, and slowly my eyes begin to droop.

Don't really know when it was that I fell asleep, only know that I did when I hear a crash and startled awake. The sun is beaming on my face, and I see that Katniss is just there still sleeping. I stand and walk over to the noise and find that it is Sae O'Connor cooking breakfast.

"Didn't think I'd find you here." She says with her back to me. How does she do it? She heard me coming even though I was careful not to make a sound.

"Fell asleep, didn't mean to sleep over." I say.

"Not my place to say whether you meant to or not, but it is nice to see you two kids finally sleeping." She says.

I think back and think of the fact that for the first time in a while, I didn't have nightmares. The sleep was so deep and restful, that it felt like I spent days just catching up sleeping. It is when I remember the nights on the train, when we would sleep together, it was the most peaceful nights even though it was because of the Capitol.

"Morning," I hear coming from the doorway to the kitchen.

I turn and see her there, rubbing her eyes trying to wake up. She walks over and sits down at the table. Standing there, watching her trying to wake up brings a smile to my face.

"Are you going to eat standing up?" Sae says.

She kicks out the chair next to her and I just sit down.

"How did you sleep?" She asked.

"The same as I did back on the train." I say. "Real or not real?"

She looks over and can see the blush on her face.

"Real," she says. "If you didn't have nightmares and finally got a good night rest."

"Did you sleep?" I ask.

She nods as she takes a spoonful of oatmeal. We eat breakfast without much talk. Sae just stands there just waiting for us to be done. Her arms crossed as if she is watching a television show. It seems like our lives for the last three years have been like a television show.

"I might go out hunting today," she says.

"Good, would be great to get some game for dinner," Sae says.

I nod in agreement. The knocks on the door, and the squirrel in the mornings, it was the morning ritual that my father had. Two loaves of bread in exchanged for the squirrel. It was something that happened the day of the Reaping. I think.

"Two loaves of bread for a squirrel." I say. "Real or not?"

"Depends." She says. "Your father would always give us more than what we gave him. I told him that the day of the reaping."

"Yeah, he was always upsetting my mother that way." I say.

I look down and place the fork on the table. The thought of him, doesn't bring me sadness like it use to. It just allows me to see the memory and not the pain. Could this be what Doctor Aurellis said about memories that bring a sense of pain? That we are to remember the great memories that make them, who they are, realize that the painful memories are there, but it is only to give us a timeline.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" she starts.

"No, no, it is okay. I was just remembering that day." I say. "Sort of like the day I won the lottery."

She smiles and turns to go to the base of the stairs.

"I will be expecting those two loaves tonight," she says and hurries up the stairs.

"Well isn't that something," Sae says. "She hasn't been upstairs this whole time. Good thing there is a shower downstairs as well. Had to bring some clothes from upstairs down here in the beginning and now she is going outside. You should back more often, probably we can get this girl out to being 'normal' again."

She lets out a laugh and begins to walk outside. Almost at the door she speaks up.

"Six thirty don't forget to bring the bread" she says.

I walk out through the kitchen table. The sun has peeked through the grey skies that hid it so well yesterday. There is something that I have to do, somewhere I have to go. Walking on the gravel road, I try to remember what he taught me. Lessons on how to be brave, he was always trying to teach us something about life, about how to be a good person.

Walking I see the stone ledge. The memory of that day comes to my mind. It was just before the Quarter Quell announcement and she had just seen some news cast on the television in the private study of Mayor Undersee. It was about the uprising. She asked if I would leave with her, and run away in the forest. It would have been nice if it did happen.

I run hands on the smooth rocks that some fashioned into a ledge. Everything around me is like a missing piece of puzzle, the thing to get it is to find the anchor where the memories belong. My pace slows as I know what is coming along the turn.

I can just start to see the rubble. The first store burned to the ground. The little old lady who would sell fabric, she would place a wooden display board outside showing all the new colors from the Capitol. Obviously it was yesterday's colors sort to speak and we were always getting the leftovers of the Capitol. The charred wood lay all around as if the store collapses on itself.

The ash is still in the air. You can feel the change in mood. Even the animals know that the row of merchant shops are not a lively place that use to be called the Square, but it is now a tomb, where people died trying to run.

I count the pile of rubbles and can feel my heart drop when I count the fourth rubble from the end. The brick chimney stacks still stand up to the sky. Well at least it is partly up. I place my hands in my pocket and look down. My feet stop moving knowing that it if I continue that there is a strong possibility that I would have an attack. I look around and find that no one is walking. In the distance you can still see some little old woman walking with a pale of water that she might have gotten from the nearby well.

I rub my eyes with my hands and take a deep breath. It is only a building; I keep saying to myself, they are no longer there. One step, and then another, my feet finally start to move towards it.

Looking up for the first time, I see the horror that stands before me. It is the area where more than likely my whole family was taken from me, their final resting place. I kneel down and place my hands to my face. I want to cover the sight from my eyes, but I know that I had to face it in order to begin to heal.

Starting to move the small pieces of wood from the rubble I still see the old tree in the back where the pigs were. It is half burned, one side charred with no leaves and the other surviving with the bloom of spring. It is at that moment that I realize what I must do. Looking up to the sky I make a promise to myself and to my family that I will never forget them. They will be forever in my heart.

Walking back, I can feel the burden in my heart, the sorrow that was deep inside start to lift slowly. It is almost like I can breathe cleanly. The pace quickens and I walk with purpose, knowing the pain is there to let me know one thing.

That I loved them very much, and will forever miss them, until I see them once again.

'Why are they crying, papa?' I ask.

'Well son, it is what shows us how much we miss them. Some of us are more freely with our emotions while others hold it in, until they are ready.' He says. 'But we all cry at one point in our life.'

It was the funeral moments when the miners had died and I see that Katniss's mother just stands there emotionless while her two daughters shed tears for her father.

It is at that moment that all of the sudden without words, all the adults place three fingers to their lips and lift it up to the sky. It is an odd thing to do. I see the other kids start to do it, so I do it along with them.

He would tell me later that it is a sign of respect to those that would give their lives for others. It is the thought that although death has taken them, we are forever together with them.

That was years ago, and yet the thought of my family's death triggers an old memory that I thought I didn't even have. The things we remember, the breadcrumbs that our mind lays out in order to never forget.

I reach for the phone in my house and take out the paper that is always in my pocket. Dialing the number I hear him answer on the other side.

"Peeta, what a wonderful thing to receive a call from you." Doctor Aurellis says. "Everything okay?"

"Yes Doctor," I say. "Have a question that I want to ask seeing how you know a little bit more about the new government that I do."

"Well, depends on what you are going to ask." He says.

"Well I want to know if the money that the Capitol gave to all Victors of the Hunger Games would still be given." I ask. "That and the bakery that was bombed by the Capitol, that land does it still belong to my family?"

He asks me to hold, that he was going to check on both. After what felt like hours but was really about five minutes or so, he comes back to the phone and says.

"All incentives that were given to the winners of the Hunger Games will continue to be given, with respect to the monetary. Seeing how the Games have been discontinued indefinitely the food for the winning District has been suspended." He says. "With regards to the second question, all land will resort to any living member of the immediate family."

Well the one good thing about living I guess. We talk about how treatment was going. I mentioned how I walked to the collapse bakery and how small tremors and quickening of breath where the only things that I could think of.

He tells me that testing of the new medicine would be ready and it might prove to let me have better control of my symptoms.

I thank him and ask if he would ever come to the District to visit. He says that it would be a good vacation away from all the patients that he now has.

"Oh, and before I forget," he says. "Thank you for getting Katniss to call me, can't really tell you about how her treatment is going but I can tell you, that small progress is always progress."

We exchange goodbyes and with that the one of the things I have to do is coming to place. The most important though, still haven't even found it just quite yet.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Looking at the mirror next to the phone, I see the scars of the blast. I move my hair out of the way of my forehead and there in a split second my mind finally comes to realize something. Tonight is not just like any other night. We have always been the focal point of everything, or everyone. The Capitol wanting us to stop the rebellion, the Rebels wanting us to continue it, having to act a certain in love in order for the Capitol to have their way, or having to act broken and destroyed for the Rebels to add fuel to the war.

Now, tonight, there will be no cameras, no more star crossed lovers, no more Capitol, no more Rebels, no more hidden agenda. No more mentors telling us to act a certain way, no more stylists to make us over.

I trace the scars. There are no more masks. The thought of it all suddenly makes it so real, that it is frightening. There is no final goal, there isn't even a family left to protect from harm. The reason why she did everything has been stolen from her. Even the one, who she was with for many years, is no longer here.

Looking at the mirror, I see what I have feared all this time. Without that, without the cameras, what if I simply just don't measure up. The anticipation of the person we have built in our mind, what if the reality is not what we were expecting.

What if I am not enough?

In the kitchen I try to clear my head, trying to not think about it. Just making bread, nothing too hard about that, nothing to worry about there, you know what you put in, and you know the order that it goes through, you know the time it takes and you have done it a thousand times before. There is nothing to it.

I grab the ingredients, flour, yeast, sugar, salt, a little oil. My father always told me that knowing the things that goes into making bread has a relaxing feeling because you reinvent the wheel. I think about what he meant, and realize that it is about everything but making bread. The things we know, the things we do, we know that outcome. You walk here and finally get there. You put in a light bulb, and in the last screw in, you find that electricity runs through it and you have light.

But what do you do when you don't know the outcome of what will happens? Whisking the yeast and flour, adding the sugar and salt, we see that something always happens; the result expands and is ready to be molded.

What you do now, is how much effort you place into it. The more you knead the more smoother that dough, which will give fluffier bread. The more effort you do, the more you do. I think of it, all the effort that I did to keep her alive, and to let her know how I felt. I don't know if it worked, I never asked her anything about it. She just assumed it was part of the plan, that it was just me trying to survive.

Even the time we spent apart, I knew that how I felt. It killed me more to have the cameras because I never knew back then how she felt. She told me that it was all to keep her family and mines safe, to stop an uprising from happening.

The small moments that we had together where there were no cameras. There were the times where we finally talked in the garden on the rooftop.

'I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever,' I say.

'Okay,' she says.

I look down at her, wondering if I had heard right.

'Then you'll allow it?' I ask.

'I'll allow it,' she says.

Placing the finished bread mold in the pans, I place it in the oven. If you wait the right amount of time, you can almost guarantee the freshness of the bread. My father always would tell me that he would hum a song, and at the end of the song he knew that it would be ready.

I waited throughout the Quell, trying to get her to realize that I was giving my life so that she could have her own.

'Your family needs you, Katniss,' I say to her closing the locket in her hands.

Her hands I can feel trembling. I look deep into her eyes so she realizes that it is the truth of my heart.

'No one really needs me,' I say. 'I have come to terms with this, my family has as well.'

It wasn't meant to get her to declare anything to me, it was a matter of fact that her life was meant to be lived and if I could give her that as a gift then it would mean that my life had meaning as well.

That she still had Gale, and her family to go home to. To see her sister grow up to become the woman she was destined to become. I only had her, and to me seeing her life her live was more than enough for me.

The bread comes out exactly how it should. Exactly how the ingredients were placed in. I remembered the effort that it was made to get it to a place where you can wait for the desired results.

Walking up the stairs, I go through the clothes and realize that it is just that. The desired results were not what I received. My death was supposed to be in the arena, and that didn't happen. The weeks I spent being tortured, being experimented on. She was supposed to let me go. That was the plan. She couldn't, and I don't know why.

The not knowing is the worst feeling. Even when she held me in the Tigris' shop before we left that day for the City Circle. She was saying goodbye, it really was confusing enough that she wouldn't let me go.

Combing my hair, I see myself again and think now what?

Walking downstairs I pick up the bread place them in the bag, and walk to the front door. The walk towards her house is only a minute or so, but it is hard enough to keep my feet moving when all you have been thinking about for the last couple of hours is the things you fear the most.

Sae is already in the kitchen preparing dinner, and I can see that the meat that she has is as fresh as it could be. She waves me over to the kitchen and I place the loaves of bread on the counter.

"You can cook, and she can hunt," she says. "Now which one of you could clean, I wonder."

I look around and find that she is not in the living room or the kitchen. The water running from the upstairs and I know that she is probably washing up before dinner.

Sitting down, all I can smell is the wonderful stew that she is preparing. Meat and vegetables with bake potatoes. It is enough to make my mouth water. A pie would have gone great with the dinner, which I mentioned.

"Why bother, we still have the cheese buns from yesterday. Two left." She says.

"Aren't you staying?" I ask.

"Three is a crowd and I have to get home to my granddaughter." She says.

She too think that if we place something in the oven for the right about of time that a desired result will happen. If this could be just as easy as baking bread, then I would know exactly what to say or what to do. The ingredients.

She hands me some lemons and ask me to squeeze them for some lemonade. I cut a couple and start to squeeze them with my hands. After getting most of them into a pitcher I hear her.

"Anything I can do?" she says.

I turn and see her standing there. Her hair is in her typical single braid. She has on some comfortable pants and a soft yellow t-shirt.

"Cut up the bread for me," Sae says. "While Peeta finishes the lemonade."

We finally get the meal prepared and of course Katniss offers again for Sae to come and eat dinner with us, but she again refuses kindly and walks out. She asks me whether or not I would be in my home tomorrow morning, to which she realizes that it causes both of us to blush.

Katniss of course says that she will make sure that I rest in my own home. I also say the same thing, and Sae finally walks out the door.

We sit down and begin to eat the delicious meal that was prepared. When I ask what kind of meat it is, she mentions that it is squirrel and how it wasn't her best move. She missed a couple of times and when finally caught one, it wasn't a clean kill.

Neither one of us mentions when the last time she held a bow in her hands was, but we all know when it was. She had just shot an arrow straight through the heart of President Coin.

She looks down to my hand. Knowing that I was probably thinking the same thing, I move it to my lap trying to avoid it.

"Can still see it," she says.

I shrug as it was nothing. Truth be told, it took almost two hours and a couple of stitches to finally close the wounds on my hand. She had bite into my hand as I clamped it over her shoulder. She was trying to end her life by piercing the little pocket that contained the nightlock pill.

I hear the fork being placed down and finally the question arose that has been on each other's mind.

"Why?" she says.

I look up and see her eyes. They are not asking, but demanding an answer. There are no cameras, there are no agenda, and all she wants are answers.

"Why did you stop me?" She asks. "Do you know that I am all alone? Do you know what…"

She catches herself right as she is about to finish the sentence.

"Yes, I know what that is like." I say. "You are asking me why?"

She stands upset and turns around and goes to the sink. She looks down at the drain and can see that she is struggling just like I am.

"I hate you for it." She says.

There it is the truth of it all. She wanted out just as much as I did back when I begged her for it.

"I am sorry," I say sliding out my chair. "I will leave you alone."

Walking towards the living room, I hear her footsteps.

"No," she says. "You don't get to leave here like you are the victim and I am not."

I turn and see that she is lashing out, not because she hates me fully, but because she is still hurting. She cannot see the reason why these things have happened to her.

Those where the darkest days, when I blamed her for everything, knowing full well that she wasn't to blame for anything.

"I am sorry that she isn't here. Had I known what was going to happen, I would have never come back." I said. "You are asking me why, it was the same reason back in the arena, it was the same reason that kept me going through all those nights when they cut me, bruised me, tortured me. It was the same reason why I grab you and couldn't let you go."

She stands there, waiting for the answer, not satisfied by the response.

"I was selfish." I say. "There are you happy?"

She seems a little confused.

"I knew had you killed yourself, than what reason would I have to continue to live myself." I say. "I know that Prim was the reason why you kept going, the reason why you did everything. Well you were the reason for me. I couldn't let you go."

She looks at me, and I can see that she is still angry. It is not at me though, and I don't know what to say now.

Finally she breaks and falls to her knees. Starting to weep, she finally says.

"It just hurts too much, Peeta." She says through the tears. "I miss her too much.

What do you do? Do you hold her? Do you tell her that it would be okay, because it is the right thing to say, even though right now I know that all she knows is that it is not okay, and that she doesn't know when it would be okay.

"Look, I can't tell you it will be okay, that the pain will go away," I say. "The truth is, I don't know that everything is going to be okay, because I am right where you are. The pain for me is still there, and it feels like it was just yesterday. I don't know when or if it would ever go away. But there is something that I do know. That you will always have me to help, if you ever need it."

She looks at me, coming to her feet. It wasn't what I was suppose to say, but it was what I felt is the truth. I have blamed her for everything that went wrong after the Rebels rescue from the Quell, and I could have kept thinking that she was the cause but I had to see that the truth is, we were just pawns.

"The pain would just end if I wasn't here anymore." She says.

"Think if that is what she would have wanted for you." I say. "I wish I had gotten to know her, she sounded like an amazing person."

She nods coming and sitting on the sofa. The tension in the room starts to dissipate. Moving to the chair, I sit down.

"I don't want to forget her, but I don't want to feel like this anymore." She says.

"The things we do, that we have learned from them, allow us to remember them." I say. "What if we write down some things about her?"

"I wouldn't know where to start," she says.

I look around and see a pile of blank papers on the end table. I stand up and grab it alongside a pencil in the drawer.

"Well tell me about her, I would love to get to know her." I say. "I know that she loved the pink cupcakes from the bakery. She pointed it out to me that time."

She looks at me and almost smiles.

"We would always walk by and see them in the display window. She would tell me how she like this one and that one, and how if she had lots of money that she would buy them all and give them to her friends." She says.

I start to write down everything that she is saying. She starts to tell me how she is amazing when it came to being brave when someone was injured, but would be scared by the smallest of things, like thunder and lightning.

She would hum in the bathroom every day, even when we were late for school. She loved that hideous cat, not because of how it looked but because she wanted to have something of her own. After three or four pages of memories, she walks over and sits on the ground next to me.

Starting to sketch, I imagine Katniss and Primrose standing before the display window of the bakery. Katniss with her arm around her shoulder, in her usual one braid, tan pants and dark green shirt. The brown leather boots of a hunter that has seen her share of adventures. Next to her is a smaller little girl filled with wonder in her face. She is pointing at something in the display case, so excited that she stands on her tippy toes. I sketch her in a dress and the two blonde braids coming down her back, always wanting to be like her sister but still innocent to the world. You could tell she is begging her older sister to buy her one.

She looks at the sketch and smiles.

"I don't know you did it, but that is my little sister." She says.

"I would see it every day, when you came. I only knew her a short period but I wish that I had gotten to know her more." I say.

I hand her the pages and tell her that whenever she starts to feel the pain, and the lost, to look at these memories and if she could think of more, to write them down.

"If we can remember them through memories, then they will truly never be gone." I say.

She walks to a nearby closet and brings a box to the coffee table. It has dust on the cover like it hasn't been opened in months.

She clears off the box and removes the binding on it. Inside the box are the family book, or plants and other things. She opens it and finds a blank area in the book and slides the pages into the book. Closing it she places the book on her chest closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, obviously remembering her sister.

Once a couple of minutes pass by, she opens her eyes. She turns and looks at me. Placing the book on the coffee table, she tells me something causes me to finally forget about the cameras not being there, or the Capitol not wanting us dead.

"Thank you for this," she says placing a hand on the book.

"Your welcome." I say.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

One thing I can say about tonight. It didn't go as planned; if there was a schedule that Effie made for tonight, it was most certainly not followed. Good thing that in the Victor's village our only neighbor would be Haymitch. The screaming match that we just had where all of her frustrations were done with me as the sole person hearing them would have warranted a couple of nosy persons if we lived in a more populated area.

"Effie would have had a fit if she was here," she says. "It isn't proper manners for a lady to raise her voice."

I smile and say.

"If Haymitch was here, he would say something like 'good thing she isn't a lady,' which would win him the prize of sneer from you." I say laughing.

She sneers anyways, and we both start to laugh. After about a couple of minutes, I know that there is still an underlying issue that hasn't been solved yet.

"You know, it does get better," I say. "Although I haven't really figured it out yet, talking about it helps."

I motion the empty room and mentioned the passed out drunk of a neighbor that we have.

"No cameras, no more Capitol wanting us to do this, or Rebels wanting us to do that. Just us." I say.

She sits down and realizes what I had realized earlier today. That for the first thing in a long time we are alone. She sits down on the sofa exhausted from the emotional release.

Sitting down in the chair not knowing how to continue, feeling inadequate, like that little boy that loses his nerves to talk to you.

"Is that okay?" I say. "I mean that now that we are finally able to talk, is it okay that it is just me. I know that I am not as close with you like Gale is, or as a confidant like he was. I am just the boy who fell in love with the girl from the Seam. I am no hero, just someone wishing for the dream of knowing you to continue."

Unsure what to say, she just looks at me. It is a lot to take in, one moment yelling at me for not letting her die, and now hearing the truth of how I see myself.

"It is," She finally says. "You were the only one to come back here voluntarily. Why did you?"

Thinking back; about that last day in Capitol with Doctor Aurellis. One of our last sessions we just sitting down and talking about what ifs.

'Peeta, what if you were allowed to finally leave and go; where would you go?' he asks.

Sitting there thinking about if a present like that was given and I was no longer looked at as a waiting time bomb. There is no question on where I would go.

'Where ever she is,' I say without thinking about it.

Looking at her, and my decision, there wouldn't be anything that I would change.

"Home is where the heart is," I say. "This is my home."

The implications of my comments hit both of us, it is something that I didn't have to think about back then and don't have to think about it today. The silence is bordering on uncomfortable, so I continue to talk.

"There isn't anything about what has happened in the last three years that I would change," I say. "Well there would be one thing."

The thought of her in pain is something that I cannot bear. It is the one weakness that the Capitol used against me. The Careers knew it in our Games; they knew that if they could just grab her, they knew that I would do anything to save her. She just sits there waiting to hear what I would change. Her thoughts probably would be about my family, or my torture, or that we were never reaped in the first place.

I miss my family greatly, and if I could I would want them here with us, but it would be a selfish thing, they all live and died the way they wanted, my father told me to look after my family and I know that he wasn't referring to them. We always lived like the next day was never promised to us, but that it is a true gift to be alive. Especially with the death of the Games and with the prisons of the District fences, our lives where always a day by day routine.

"I can't stand seeing you in pain, so the only thing I would change would be your sister that she would still be here with your mother." I say.

She looks at me. She knows as well as I do, that pain I can handle, but seeing her in pain, is something that I cannot handle. When she fell and hurt her foot and was in pain, I carried her everywhere.

"Do you really mean that?" she asks.

"I do." I say.

Without the cameras, without Effie Trinket, or people from the Capitol, or the Rebels, it is for the first time that she realizes that I was always telling the truth, that it wasn't a story to win sympathy from her or from others; it was truly what I felt.

She shakes her head no.

"You can't still feel that way, not after all that you have lost because of me." She says. "Your parents are dead because of what I did. You were torture, left to die because of what I did afterwards. Even the scars on your face are my fault."

I stand, walking over to her and sit next to her.

"Fate and love," I say.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Well fate is like love. You cannot change it, as much as you want to, or if it looks the worst, it is fate. It was meant to happen. Love as much I would want to change who I love, even if I went through the worst of everything, I cannot change it, and I wouldn't want to." I say.

She turns and suddenly I feel her embrace. Both of us in need of each other, to become functional. Without her, I don't know if I could continue.

"You can't be real," she says. "And if you are not, and this is all a dream, then I don't want to wake up from it."

I grab her hand and tell her if she can feel mines. She nods and then just like that she knows that I am real. Standing I lift her up.

"Come, let's finish our cold dinner," I say.

Walking back to the table, I see the one thing that causes both of us to laugh. There on top of the kitchen table is buttercup finishing our food. She takes off her shoe and throws it at him. Of course not meaning to hit him, but frustrated because the cat just ate our food.

The cat runs into the living room and hisses at her from there.

"Keep on, when he isn't here we are going to have a couple of words," she says.

The only thing that the cat did not have time to eat is on the counter of the kitchen. There is only part of the loaf of bread that I had made a couple of hours ago. Breaking half I hand it to her.

"Feels like we are back in the cave," she says.

I take her hand and walk her back to the sofa. We sit down and finally she lays her head on my chest.

"All we need now is a stream and the stars." I say.

"Seems like you are remembering more," she says.

"Seems like," I say.

"Only this time there are no Careers coming to kill us, just have to watch out for the cat eating our food," I say.

She takes a bite of the bread and there she asks.

"How do you make them so soft?" She asks.

"Well it is a process that I had to learn from my father. With him everything he taught me had a double meaning in baking and in life." I say.

I explain to her how he told me when I was about six or seven that baking bread is simple because you know the exact amounts in order to get the perfect consistency. In life though, you may think you know the perfect ingredients in order to have the perfect life and know that it is never perfect and you could never guess the exact amounts because it changes.

She listens attentively to what I was saying about putting effort into making the dough, and if you put the effort in life you should be able to get what you want.

"Doesn't really happen all the time," I say.

"You father sounded like a very smart man," she says.

"Yes, he was," I say. "I really wish you could have met him."

She grabs a paper and starts to write it down, the recipe for bread and life. The times he showed me about how to approach people and how to treat them. She hands them to me.

"You keep them," I say. "I have all these boxes over on my living room; don't want them to get thrown out by mistake."

She places them in the book and tells me that she will keep it there because she knows that it is the safest place for them.

"I am going to get going, want you to get some rest and I am a little tired." I say. "Don't want to get you in trouble with Sae tomorrow morning."

"Oh," she says surprised. "oh, okay."

She nods and walks me to the door.

"Thank you for the bread." She says.

"Thank you for the meal, although Buttercup actually ate it." I say.

Walking out, I see my house and begin the short steps to my house. I just start to whistle a tune. Although tonight wasn't what I had expected, it did allow me to finally get that gnawing question on how we would act if there were no cameras around. If it was just me and her.

Getting to my door, I look back and see that she is still there at her doorway looking at me. I see her and give a one handed wave. She walks inside closing the door.

Walking up the stairs and to my room, I see my window and decide to open it. The night sky just looks so beautiful, the moon and the stars, reminds me of the times in the cave. I look out and see a ledge, look to see a makeshift ladder.

Did I make this ladder here to get to the roof? Climbing up, I find a spot near the chimney. The warm bricks from the downstairs, keeps this little area nice and warm. This must have been my spot before the Quell. I remember now. I sit down and think of the times that I would spend up here.

These are the times that I wish I could remember. Those times when we were there in the cave. Sure I can see videos and can have people tell me all about it, but the feelings are what make it real. I couldn't stay there tonight sitting on the sofa with her, remembering about a place where I am supposed to have feelings. They feel like memories of another person. It just isn't right pretending to remember when all I did was watch videos of it.

I want to remember them. How I felt, when she was there. She deserves that. I want to remember how it felt to see her there sleeping in my arms, while I watch the sunrise. I am living his life, through videos and memories that people tell me about. Sure there are glimpses where I remember things that the Capitol never told me, or no one else did.

Who knows, probably tomorrow will be a better day. It would be nice to go to sleep and wake up feeling like me again, and not like I am outside of a glass box looking in.

'Don't try and force them,' he says. 'Force memories are empty ones. The Capitol implanted empty memories and injected the only emotions that they can, pain and fear.'

'Well I want to remember,' I say.

'You will, the mind always leaves clues, breadcrumbs so to speak, to get you back to the place you were,' he says.

'So all I have to do is be patient?' I ask. 'Doctor I feel like I am living a lie. Watching videos; sure trigger things here and there, but I don't truly remember them.'

'You will,' he says. 'You have to just give it more time. Paint me the sky.'

'Paint you the sky?' I say.

'Yes in one stroke,' he says.

'Impossible, the sky has many different shades, clouds itself are hard enough with the whites, and off whites, and eggshell, and beige, grey and not to mention a little black if it is a rainy cloud.' I say.

'So, memories are like painting a sky,' He says. 'You cannot rush it, you have to layer it.'

'Unless I can paint you the sky in one stroke,' I say.

'Well then, always looking for the challenge huh, Peeta,' he says.

I spent the next three days trying to incorporate as much of the different shades in one paint brush. Found that if you do that, and they mix then you get a new color that isn't part of the original idea.

'Can't mix memories, that is what Capitol was doing, they put a whole mess of different memories and you mind couldn't tell them apart, hence the new color, or emotional response, anger, fear or confusion.' He says.

Thinking about it back then, it wasn't truly a good idea, but it did lead me to another one. If the memories where all smash in together, the trick is to pick them apart and paint one at a time.

Finally can understand what he meant about painting the sky with one stroke. It takes time each day to paint it one stroke at a time. You cannot rush it, you have to be patient.

Probably tomorrow, I will think of a memory and finally understand it. I want to be a better man for her. I want to be the Peeta, which she knew back in the arena, back in the cave, back in the garden up in the Training center.

Tonight I will think about the time I saw her singing the valley song. She had the most beautiful voice. I wonder if I asked her tomorrow, would she sing it again? She had the most beautiful bright grey eyes; they always stood out in a crowd. I always thought that even in the night sky you could see them a mile away. It was autumn I think. The leaves were on the ground, different colors. My father was walking me towards school. I think I was five years old.

I wonder if she remembers me back then. How was I? Delly would always fill in the holes back in the hospital in District Thirteen, but the details where always missing, because it wasn't coming from me. It is like watching a conversation and hearing the words, but never knowing the emotions behind them.

What did I feel that day? Think Peeta. If I could think of one emotion, it would be safe. I felt safe. Standing there with my father, getting ready to go inside, I felt safe. There were no peacekeepers there in front of the school; it was just us, parents and the teachers. Seeing him fix my shirt making me more presentable kneeling next to me to tell me something.

'See that little girl over there, in the red plaid dress?' he says.

What he didn't know, and what I didn't know until right now, was that I had already seen her. She was walking in front of us with her father. She started to chase a butterfly while still holding onto his hand. It was a yellow butterfly. She was chasing a yellow butterfly. That was the time that I knew she was the one for me. It wasn't so much as when he pointed her out, I was already seeing her, the way she sang, just confirmed everything.

Her hair, it flowed until it was tied in the two braids. I can even almost make out the pattern of the braids. She had brown shoes, with no laces. I remember that because I thought what a great idea no laces. My father had to tie them for me.

'You always double tie you laces, that way you don't have to worry about them coming unlaced.' He says.

A yellow butterfly. Have to ask her if she remembers chasing a yellow butterfly.

There it is the first color of the sky. This is the first feeling that I have had about a memory. I felt safe.

A smile creeps in my face as I just lie there looking up at the stars. There are no animal noises which I find strange, and of course there are no lights on, over in Haymitch's house. Probably stick my head in tomorrow see what the old man is doing. Tonight though, cannot help but feel happy.

It was a yellow butterfly.

The stars sure look beautiful tonight. That wouldn't be a hard thing to paint, the dark sky. That is until you see the different shades of dark purples and deep blues. Many people would say that the sky is black, which is until you pay attention to the details.

That is my play tomorrow, the details. Suddenly I have a plan of attack, and knowing the colors give you a sense of control. Now let's see if we can't paint that sky with one stroke.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Never really understood how people could get up at the crack of dawn. My father everyday would get up before the sun would rise. The only times that he would sleep in, would be when he was sick and when it would snow.

During the school year, I would always work in the afternoons after school once I turned thirteen; my father would go upstairs to bed at around eight or so. The bakery would close at around six, so the only thing I had to do was re-stock everything, and clean. When I wasn't in school or after the Hunger Games, I started to open and close for him. He deserved a rest although he never took it. Every morning he would get up and I would tell him to go to sleep.

Started to understand why he would get up early in the mornings. No one was around, and baking bread you can think about everything. You can place your frustrations into your work, so to speak. All your sorrows, no one would be able see them because everyone was still sleeping.

It seems that my body is already accustomed to getting up early although I go to sleep very late. Every morning I would get up early as to open the bakery only to realize one that my father isn't going to be there and two that there is no bakery. It does hurt less everyday remembering both things, but it still bothers me everyday.

When I was in the hospital in District Thirteen, they would always ask me why I would be up so early. Could never tell them the real reason so would say that the medication would keep me up. That way they wouldn't give me any more medication, only when my body really needed the rest.

Dreams or nightmares didn't matter to the people who depended on my father's bakery to be open on time. To the hunters who would hunt in the early morning. I honestly don't know how Katniss would do it everyday. Getting up early and going into the woods to hunt for Game to trade with my father for bread. He would get up though everyday to trade the bread.

'Don't want you to trade eight loaves for a squirrel, especially if she comes to the door,' he says laughing at me. 'Your mother would kill me.'

'Well that is good, because I would give away only four if it was her,' I say smiling.

He would shake his head and we would have a great time laughing.

Of course I wouldn't have done that, just give her little sister Prim cupcakes instead. He didn't mind, even though I always slipped him the coins for it in his apron.

Never wanted him to be short for their monthly installment to the Capitol. It was a specific amount both in money and in food that was given in packages. He said that it was sort of rent for allowing us to live where we do.

Never understood that, seeing how that bakery has been in our families for as long as I can remember it. My father even told me that bakery probably was around back before the Dark Days. I wouldn't doubt it for a second if that wasn't true.

Finally walking down the stairs, the creaking old stairs that always made noise in the morning moisture. In a corner of the living room is six large boxes that was sent from the Capitol when I left treatment. Most of it are books that I have read, and paintings that I had drawn. My brushes and paints, not to mention sketch books and pencils.

I might clean up later today; although right now I have to do something that is more important to me. Walking to the shed in the back, I see the wheel barrel and the shovel. Rolling it to the path, I see that the bird have started to sing.

Just for fun I start to whistle along with the birds. Although I am not as good as Katniss, it does keep my mind occupied on what I am going to do. Reaching the bakery, I see the rubble. It is only the second time I see it and it is still painful enough to cause tears to develop. The ash in the air has cleared though, so it isn't too hard to breathe.

Grabbing the gloves, I start to grab pieces of wood and placing it in the wheel barrel. At first it is easy just moving pieces of wood not knowing where it fit. Took me all of the morning time to get most of the debris from the outside cleaned up. The pieces of wood where taken to the nearby pit where all debris from the attack have been designated.

Seeing the chimney stack I know that once I reach that, it will be harder to continue. The chimney connected both rooms upstairs and the two brick ovens downstairs. Grabbing a plastic bucket I begin to grab the pieces of brick on the ground. The charred red brick is littered all over. If I can at least get a quarter of it done, it would be a good day. Going deeper into the rubble, I have to cover my face with my shirt because of the dust.

Moving the heavy wheel barrel with debris after a while does tire you out. I see people watching me go back and forth from the pit to the bakery. At lunch time, I flip the bucket upside down and sit on top of it. I take out the loaf of bread and begin to eat it.

Looking down on the ground the sun beaming down on me, I see my shadow on the ground hunched over. Suddenly I see another shadow next to me and look up to see Thom handing me a water bottle.

"Think you might need this," he says.

I grab it, and smile. "Thanks, it is hot today, wanted to see if I could get it halfway cleared." I say.

He looks up and sees the pile still not even a quarter done. He places his hands on his waist and then without any question, I see him start to roll up his sleeves.

"Well guess we have to push it then if we want to get it done before the sun goes down." He says.

"Thanks for the offer; I will take you up on it." I say.

"Well you have done so much for us, least I can do is lend a hand," he says.

It was like it happened yesterday, just a couple of feet away from the bakery. The new peacekeepers had come into the district and were enforcing the rules of the Capitol. They had caught Gale holding a wild turkey and whipped him, almost killing him.

Katniss of course stood up for him and so did I. It stopped Thread from finishing the job. That night I thought I had lost her. I know that deep down inside, she still loves him, and that would probably never change. Thom here is one of Gale's old coal miner friends. He helps us carry Gale to Katniss's mother for help.

The work is hard enough both physically and emotionally but once I have had help, Thom would keep my mind from wandering on what happened here. We would talk about how the District is finally getting a chance to be free. The mines are still closed due to unsafe work conditions and have been scheduled for inspection by people from District Thirteen. If anyone can get the mines back to code would be the people who lived underground for more than seventy five years.

He tells me that most of the families who escape the bombing have either decided to stay in District Thirteen or have re-located to another district to have a fresh new start. The process he says is quite easy, just fill out paperwork and submit it to the new government. They are currently taking a census of the remaining population of each district and when completed they re-locate people to areas where they need more people.

"Why did you come back to District Twelve?" I ask.

"This is all I know, even in Thirteen, I felt out of place. Here I feel like I can be myself." He says.

I nod. "I know what you mean," I say. "This is the only place I would go."

He looks at me and smiles.

"Sure that isn't the only reason?" He says implying what everyone in the District is already assuming.

"Well I know your friend is Gale and well, you know," I say.

"Hey, things happen, we cannot control who someone picks," he says. "If it had been him, I would still be here helping you out. Something we learned from your pop."

The comment strikes me as odd. My father never told me that he knew Thom. I mean he knows most everyone in the District, the baker of District Twelve.

"How did you know my father?" I ask.

He stops the shoveling, looks at me, and wipes the sweat from his brow. He gives me a symbol to wait until he can catch his breath and finally say.

"No one ever told you?" He says. "About the night of the bombing?"

Looking at him, I find that I never asked anyone about it, figuring like everything that he died here in the bakery, trying to flee. Everyone running towards the woods, trying to save their lives, having no time to pack anything.

"No," I say. "No one."

"He saves most of us by guiding us to Gale who was waiting by the fence. Your family had gotten to the fence when someone yelled that their daughter was still missing." He says.

I can feel the emotion building up, because I know exactly what he would do. It is the same thing that I would.

"He ran back," he says.

He starts to look down and bangs the shovel on the ground.

"He didn't make it back, but he found the girl and told her where to find us." He says. "He said that we are in this together."

I look at him, and smile, fighting back the tears. That is what I always thought he would end up doing. Thom is actually here repaying a debt of gratitude.

I nod. "Sounds like him," I say.

He sits down and I do the same.

"Your dad was a good man. You should be proud of your family, they did all they could to make it to District Thirteen, but with the bombings and the peacekeepers hunting us all down, the group got separated and we never heard what happened to your mother or brothers." He says.

A sniffle comes from me, and I know that if we continue to talk about it, there is a good chance that I might lose it in front of him.

"Well thank you for the help. I think now is a good time to stop." I say.

He stands and shakes my hand.

"Same time tomorrow?" He says.

Smiling I nod and he hands me the shovel.

"Thanks for the help," I tell him.

He nods and walks away.

Picking up the last remaining bricks, I take it to the pit and drop it off. The wheel barrel rattling along the bumpy road, not really having enough energy to keep it steady. I see little children playing the streets. It reminds me of the games I would play with my older brothers. We would always make up some story on how we were rebels fighting in a war. We would stealth fully make out way up the block killing the enemy that no one else could see but us.

If they had made it to District Thirteen, they would have certainly signed up to fight in the war. It was what we were preparing ourselves all of our lives. The three Mellark brothers, we would save the day.

Smiling on the thought, I can't help but to think of the times that although they would mess with me, I knew they care for me. They would stick up for me in school when I was being picked on and even took me to their daily escapes from school to the Seam, to hang out in the Hobb.

We would never tell my father that we were there but he always knew. We tried to find out who was the spy that kept getting us in trouble, but we could never figure it out. It was always a mystery to us. That is it, another thought, another detail, we would always leave school during the day and go to the Hobb. My brothers included me in with them, making me feel like I was part of something. They said that they needed to keep me from telling on them by having me commit the same crimes they did, but that was just their story.

Walking back, I can't help but smile, that although he is gone, he helped people in the very end. Pride is something that we take very seriously in my family. It isn't something that we show, my parents always believed in hard work and humbleness as the keys to happiness.

'If you work hard, any success is due to it. Pride in your work and family is the only one that should exist.' He says. 'I am proud of you son, for how you have acted.'

He said that to me the day I got back from our Hunger Games. He said that that I always kept true to myself, and who I was.

I hope that he would still find that he is proud of me, even after I was captured. There are some things in my life that I am not proud of. The death of Mitchell still haunts me, although everyone tells me that it wasn't my fault.

The sun is setting and can see my house from afar. Katniss's house has lights on and the chimney is currently throwing smoke from it stack. Thinking back on how much I hurt her, by thinking that she was the cause of their death. He died doing what he believed was right. It wasn't fair to her, and yet I cannot help but feel guilty.

Moving the wheel barrel to the back shed, I place everything back where I found it.

'Everything has a place and everything in its place,' my mother would always tell me.

She was a very orderly person and strict. She believed in routine and repetition. My father on the other hand was freer flowing and trying new things. I guess I have found that a balance of both is not a bad thing to have.

It is good to have some order in your life, but also great to once in a while just take you where the wind blows. We had these old books of a place called Alaska. They had snow and these beautiful mountains. He said that if he could he would build a little house for him and his family so that we could live our lives just in the quietness of the world around us.

Walking back I approach the back door that leads directly to the kitchen. The door feels heavy, and it could be attributed to the fact that I spent the last twelve hours moving debris from where the bakery once stood. It is odd but I had always considered our old house to be rather small. How could something so small when destroyed could leave so much behind.

I guess it is something to think about.

There is a small pot on the kitchen table with a note.

'Dinner, heat it up for twenty minutes, Sae'

The little old lady has taken it up herself to keep us fed. To be a sort of mother figure to both of us, knowing full well that we both need it. I wonder if she was told to do this, or is doing it because she wants to.

Taking off the top I see that it is the same stew that I never got to eat yesterday. I place a little bit in a smaller pot and place it on the stove to heat. The smell is so intoxicating that I forget that I must be dirty from the work I did today.

After the food is warmed up, I go to the downstairs bathroom to wash up. Coming out to the kitchen, I hear a nose coming from the back door. Coming closer to it, I cannot believe my ears. It is the meowing of a cat at my door.

"You have to be kidding," I say to myself.

Opening the door, I see him there sitting on the step.

"Come here," I say.

The cat purrs and comes inside weaving through my legs.

"You really do like your squirrel," I say placing a little bit of stew on a plate. He eats happily, and I join him. It is very good actually. It can be placed among the Capitol food, and even then I would want it over the Capitol food because of who caught it and who cooked it.

"You know she is going to wonder where you are," I say.

He just looks at me and continues on licking the bowl. It is almost like he wishes there was more. I had the forethought to place the remaining stew in the refrigerator before I went to clean up.

I pick him up and take him to the sofa. He purrs along as I stroke his head.

"You really are an ugly cat, you know that?" I say looking at him. His face is all smashed in, and the color of his coat is something that is undesirable. But there was once a little girl, who loved you enough to see past the ugliness and call you her own.

"You miss her, don't you?" I say.

He meows and for a split second I think he actually knows who I am talking about. I guess he can sense that I miss the little girl too.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Waking up the next day is difficult because of the soreness. If Thom wasn't coming today I would certainly consider sleeping in today. Since there is no way to get in contact with Thom, seeing how he does not have a phone, will have to get up and get going.

Pack up the breads that I had made the day before and grab the wheel barrow with the shovel. I find an extra pair of gloves and bring it for Thom. Wheeling the wheel barrow down to the Square takes me less time than usual. I see that Thom getting to the bakery and he gives me a single wave.

I toss him the gloves and he smiles

"Thanks," he says.

"Yeah, no problem," I say.

"Have some of the guys coming later to help, hope that is okay?" he says. "Told them what I was doing yesterday and they wanted to help."

"The more help the merrier." I say.

We start to work on clearing a lot of the remaining small pieces. It takes us about two hours or so to finish clearing the small pieces of rumble left.

We look at what remains, demolishing what is still left standing. Part of the second floor is still standing and it isn't safe. The wood creeks and we see that the swaying of the second floor doesn't look too stable.

"Any idea on how we are going to get that down?" I ask.

"I think we may still have some of the dozers from the mines," he says. "I am going to check and bring one if I can."

"In the meantime, what are your thoughts on starting on the one at the end of the row?" I say.

He looks down the row and sees that the little business is completely knocked down, so we walk over to the edge of the Square and start to clean out one by one.

At around lunch time, Thom's friends show up and we easily finish off two more businesses with the help of the eight other guys that showed up. Grabbing plywood that was left on the ground, we make makeshift counter tops in front of each of the stores and label them by what they were before they were knocked down.

In front of the bakery I place the loaves of bread with a sign that says.

'If you are in need, please take one.'

Knowing how my father was, I feel that it is something that he would do. At first people would leave a couple of coins for them. People in District Twelve were always prideful people and sometimes would rather starve than receive a hand out. Providing for one's family is something that we hold in high regards. After a while, people started to actually come and take a loaf of bread with them. An older couple come and asked if they could take one.

"Please do, I don't want to have to take them back," I say.

"Bless you, son, your father would be proud," They say.

At the end of the day after working on clearing the rest of the business, we were able to clear most of the debris, with the exceptions of the buildings that are still standing. Machinery would have to be brought in order to knock them down safely.

"Guys thank you for all your help." I say. "I think that we as a District have always come together whenever it was needed. If you need food take a loaf home to your families. I know it isn't much but until we can get new construction, the little stove in my house would have to do."

They all wave and oddly enough only one of the guys takes a loaf home. Seems like the others are content just being able to do something with their hands.

"We have been going crazy in our homes, with nothing to do," One of the guys says.

"Inspection for the mine isn't until next month, so when Thom here told us that Thomas Mellark's son needed help, so we all volunteered. You and your old man have done right by this District so we feel it is the right thing to do."

They all start to walk back to the Seam a bunch of coal miners helping others. If my father was here he would tell me that, this is what District Twelve is all about. We may not have much, but when we see a need we fill it.

I turn and notice someone else is just standing there looking at me.

"Hey," I say. "When did you get here?"

"Getting back from hunting," she says. "Didn't see you yesterday."

"I had a dinner guest that I was entertaining yesterday," I say.

"Oh," she says surprised.

"Yes, buttercup doesn't like to be stood up," I say. "If not I would not hear the end of it."

She laughs at the thought of buttercup being my dinner guest.

"So that's where the mangy cat went." She says.

She looks down to the ground as I walk towards her. She looks just so innocent there just standing there. Her hair in a braid coming over her shoulder. She looks up and smiles just a little.

"Walk with me?" I ask.

She nods and we start to walk casually down the road with no destination in mind. I use to do this a lot back when before the Games. It was a great way just to clear my head. Find new path to places I never knew.

'You want a new adventure?' He says. 'Get lost on purpose. You find a new way to get to the same destination.'

My father always had these little one line words of wisdom that always made you think. He should have been a philosopher or a writer. Though the Capitol wouldn't need a free thinker, but one who does what they are told.

The birds are still out and many of the families who came out to the bakery and received their free loaves of bread from their windows would wave hello.

Katniss walks out with her head hang down, and holding both her hands, kicking a small pebble down the road.

"Sorry I didn't come over yesterday," I say. "There are things that I had to take care of. I know that my father would have wanted me to rebuild the bakery if I could."

She looks at me and smiles.

"I know he would have liked that. The whole communities coming together like this." She says.

The houses are coming along in District Twelve. Most of the construction that is sponsored by the new Capitol government is for the government buildings such as the Justice Building and even a new police keeping force.

"So Peacekeepers again?" I ask.

"No, well my mother tells me it will be modeled after an ancient type of government where they had a military police and regular district police. The military ones are from the government and the district police will be selected from the people of that district." She says.

"Things are changing," I say. "Hopefully it is for the best."

She slows down and I look back. I can look around and see that we are near Katniss's old house. The color on her face disappears and I know that although she has probably been here before, she still has not yet accepted the fact that her old house is gone.

I stretch out my hand and she is a little hesitant to reach out for it.

"I promise I will be with you through it all," I say.

Her hand meets mines and it is as soft and warm as I remembered. We walk slowly until we finally reach her old house. She looks at it and takes a deep breath. Finally walking towards it, I see that she is shaking, so I place my arms around her as she just looks at the house where she grew up in.

After a couple of minutes she just looks up and tells me.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." I say. "Come let's go."

Walking towards the old tree in the meadow, she hasn't let go of my hand yet. I miss this. Walking with her, we did lots of this when we were on the victory tour.

"We use to do this," I say. "Real or not real?"

"Real," she says. "Although we had cameras with us all the time. That and Effie always telling us about schedules and appointments and who to meet, and where to go."

"Sounds exhausting just hearing it," I say. "The only time I actually remember is the ocean."

She smiles, and then sneers.

"Still not forgiving you for throwing me in the ocean," she says.

Look at her and smile.

"Well I was kind of hoping you would forget, and then I remembered that it is me who forget things." I say.

Walking alongside her just feels right. Her hand still grasping mines. No one is around us now, everyone is either in their homes or there are no families around this area of the Seam. It is the worst affected. Nothing but some buildings here and there, still standing. Reminds me of the tornado we once had backed a couple of years. All those homes destroyed and then some left untouched.

I remember thinking that someone from the Capitol was controlling which way the tornado went and whose house they destroyed. I was only six and didn't really know any better, but it did sound like a plausible theory back then. It was the oddest thing seeing one though, the first time I saw one I didn't even know what it was until my father grabbed me and rush down to the storage room next to the oven. In District Twelve we hardly get tornado, although sometimes, it is like seeing double rainbows, they do come out once in a blue moon.

We walk past the houses and finally come up to the meadow. It is like the tornado didn't touch this area. There are still flowers blooming and the old willow tree that I would spend times just thinking about life outside the fence. Getting closer to the tree, it brings me to that day. I can still hear it in my mind.

'It isn't what people see, it is what holds you to the ground, it is what keeps you grounded,' he says.

He was talking about the roots of a tree and how if you have deep roots then nothing can knock it down.

I start to feel it, slowly creeping in. Trying hard to not think about it.

"How about if…" I try to say, but it is too late. My hand starts to shake as I touch the tree. I try to control it, and try to breath, but it is much too strong and I feel that I might lose control.

All of the sudden without any prompting, I feel her arms come up from behind. She is near my ear and I hear it. I cannot help but focus on it. It is like my heart was longing to hear it.

She starts to sing.

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

_Forget your woes and let your troubles lay_

_And when again it's morning, they'll wash away._

The tensing of my body begins to lessen. My breathing begins to slow down.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

I open my eyes, and feel her hands on my chest.

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

I lower my hand and grab hers.

"Yellow butterfly," I say exhausted

"Yellow butterfly?" she repeats.

"You were chasing a yellow butterfly that day with your father, as you walked to school. It was when you sang the valley song." I say.

She stands there and looks at me.

"How could you remember that?" She asks.

"Because I don't want you to see me as this broken person that cannot even keep it together. I want you to remember me as the same person from the Games. I don't want to remember things from videos anymore. I want to truly remember them." I say.

"Peeta, did you know that you tied your shoe laces, twice?" she says. "That you do this little thing when you paint, where you lips move to the right side ever so slightly."

Wondering what she means by all this, I watch her tell me things that I hardly notice myself. Things that if she didn't mention I would have never known.

"You gave my sister a pink cupcake, and you just gave away bread to people the needed it." She continues. "Yes I know, I saw it. Peeta, you are not this broken person. You are the person that I want to remember."

Seeing her there, I know that although I am at my weakest, she doesn't see me like it. It is like she sees the little things about me. The same way that I saw the little things about her, it was what I loved most about her, was the little things.

"Now come on, it is getting dark and I want to be home before the sunset." She says grabbing my hand and tugging me along.

Walking back I feel a little bit better that I finally know that she isn't trying to compare me to the boy from the cave, that the pressures to regain his memories are not on me anymore. It feels wonderful to just be yourself and not have to worry about the doctors wanting you to regain all of your memories, and even myself wishing to be the person I once was.

"You never told me if the yellow butterfly was the thing that you were chasing?" I say.

"Well all I know is that someone was looking at me when I was five," she says. "But yes I was chasing a yellow butterfly."

I let out a big sigh relief, as this is one of the few times that I remember something without the need of videos or people filling in holes. This was something that I did by myself. Feels good, like I am me again, well at least this part.

We make it back to the bakery and pick up the wheel barrel and shovel. She walks alongside me helping me by taking the shovel out of the wheel barrel and carrying it on her shoulder.

"Did you eat?" I ask.

"No, not really hungry," she says. "You?"

"Haven't been home yet. Still have some of that stew from the other day, if you want." I say.

She scrunches her nose, shaking her head no.

"There is something that I want to do though," she says. "But I cannot tell you until we are back in the Victor Village."

That is all she needed to say, as I pick up the pace to make it to the Victor's village. Even start to run with the wheel barrel.

She just laughs and tells me that I am acting silly.

Finally making it to the house, she helps me put away the wheel barrel and shovel, and the gloves. Walking around to the front of my house I ask her if I have time to get washed up.

"Yes of course," she says.

I go inside and ask if she wants to come in. She shy fully walks in and stands in the living room, with her arms crossed. She looks around and sees the boxes in the corner.

"You have them too huh?" she asks.

"What? The boxes?" I say. "I was going to get around to it one of these days. It is just paintings and brushes, paints, that sort of things."

Going to the washroom in the first floor, I quickly wash my face and my hands. Taking a shirt from the nearby folded clothes, I take off my shirt and put a clean one on.

Walking back to her, she reaches out her hand.

"Walk with me?" she asks.

I reach out my hand and she grabs it with hers.

She takes me to pass Haymitch's house and finally to a place where the valley falls off. She tells me to sit down and then points it out.

The sun was setting over the valley and in the distance you can see the mountains begin to touch the edges of the sun. The colors that come out of it is something that I cannot even begin to explain, it is breathe taking and a memory that brings me speechless.

"Someone once told me that a sunset was the kiss of the sun returning to its love, the earth. The passion being so powerful that it can cause the colors to fill the sky," she says. "I didn't think you'd want you to miss it."

There we are back in the on the roof of the Training Center, the day before the actual Quarter Quell. She had fallen asleep and I woke her up to see the sun set. It was the best day, where we spent it just talking about what we would do if we didn't have the Games. Here we are just sitting here, doing what we said we would do if there were no Games.

"Thanks," I say. My hand reaching up to move a couple of strands of her from her face. She closes her eyes as it works down to her cheek. Her hand reaches mines stopping me on her cheek. I lean in and for the first time, our lips touch ever so gently. It is enough to cause us both to shake just a little bit.

It seems that we were both waiting for this moment. The warm feeling comes over my body and in this moment, all time has stood still.

This was the day that I never wish to forget.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

There were always reasons why I loved sunsets and now I have added another reason. My eyes were awake and I didn't know if I had dreamt that or it actually happened. After the sun had set that day, we walked back hand in hand, not really talking but both of us smiling. Getting to her door, she walks in and as she turns around still smiling.

"Thank you for the 'walk,'" she says.

"We should do it more often," I say. "Sorry, can't stop smiling."

I see her face begin to blush so she looks inside her house.

"Well have a good night," she says.

"Goodnight," I say.

The door closes and all I can do is just turn and whistle happily back home. It feels like I am not even touching the ground. Still warm on the inside, and I can still feel her hand, still feel her lips. Still see her eyes as she is standing in front of me.

Walking in, I see the boxes and begin to take them up one by one into the second bedroom where I have most of my art supplies. After the last box is upstairs, I go back downstairs and start to bake pastries and breads.

Packed up the breads and place a note on them.

'Sae if you could do me the favor and place them on the Bakery makeshift counter?'

Placed the cheese buns on a plate

'Sae, these are for the girl next door, can you make sure that she gets them?'

The Pastries I put them in the refrigerator.

Walking upstairs I take a quick shower and get ready for bed. Knowing full well on what I have to do tomorrow.

The whole night I had dreams of the cave, and having her next to me. The water dripping from the rain outside, the thunder and lightning in the distance. It was our home back then, and the rain kept us inside, healing and getting to know each other better. She says that she wants to remember me the way I am now, but I want to now remember everything for me. The sensation of the thunder would wake me up in the night. Walking towards the window I would see clear skies and the stars out blanketing the night sky.

Barely slept but funny thing is that I wasn't tired at all. Woke up early enough to get ready, grabbed my backpack, a sandwich two apples and made my way to the meadow. Didn't want to take the bread since now, because of the moisture in the air, would cause the bread to give a funny taste. Sae would typically get to my house in about two hours, which by then the sun would be out and would burn off the moisture.

Picking up the pace, I want to give myself enough time to get what I need done. Seeing the willow tree, I smile and remember yesterday. Funny how a great memory can replace a horrible one, and now I still remember what my father told me there, but it is mostly about her singing to me.

Making my way through the fence, I find that in the earliest moments of the day, there is hardly any movement from animals. The color of the forest isn't as bright as it would be without the sun. It is like even the trees are sleeping.

Seeing the hole, I quickly recognize that this would be the place where Katniss would go through. Taking out the knife I work quickly to the first tree that is about thirty yards away. There are many fallen trees, showing a short of path. Thinking to myself, today might be the day. If there is any place it would be, it would be here in this area.

Walking quickly to into the forest, I turn back and see that the Seam is slowly disappearing; however I can still see the red marker on the tree. I slow down as I am coming to a clearing. They teach you in District Thirteen that any clearing should cause you to pause in caution because it is always areas where animals or other people like to stalk their prey. I slowly move and hear no movement. The wind breezes through without any interruption. Placing the marker I continue walking now, keeping my eyes out for any movement.

When Katniss would tell me about her times in the forest hunting, she would tell me about the wild dogs and bears, so I have to look out for them. Every couple of minutes I look for a tree sturdy enough to climb. The markers on the trees not only tell me where to go to get back, but it also tells me what tree to climb.

Coming to a rock formation, I see there is a small cliff. Remembering how Katniss climbed trees to get a better vantage point, I think that the cliff would be a great place to just see where I am.

Climbing the rocks I look around and I see in the distance to left, I can see what I think is the lake she was referring to back on the roof of the training center. I make a note on my makeshift map where the cliff is. Thinking about it, I don't think that a marker in the rocks would work, so I climb down and find the previous marker. Walking towards the edge of the rocks I place a marker.

I peer down and see a slope in the terrain, which is more difficult to walk. Getting a couple of feet down the slope, I make my way zigzagging from tree to tree. Looking back I see that it might be a little bit more difficult coming up the slope.

If the lake that I saw from the rocks was the lake that Katniss mentioned, I wonder how she would get there. Knowing her and the amount of times she would hunt around here, she must have an easier route. Looking around I find a good sturdy branch to use as a walking stick.

The birds start singing and I can start to make my way down the slope. The leaves on the ground does not allow for traction, not to mention my artificial leg doesn't help either.

Finally making it to the bottom of the valley, I look up and see the slope is a lot steeper that I had anticipated. Seems almost like it would be near impossible to get back up the way I came down.

'Will have to find an alternate way up,' I think to myself.

Walking; I place the marker and start to look to the right for a path back up. Walking for about ten to twenty minutes I see that the path back up is up ahead another ten minutes as the slope begins to taper down.

Finally reaching a place where the slope is more manageable, I look up and see that the sun is almost straight above me, so therefore have to get going pretty soon as it would take the same amount or more to get back to the fence. I place a marker there on the tree by the beginning of the slope and walk towards the direction of the lake.

'Couple more minutes before I have to head back,' I say. 'Don't want to get stuck out here in the dark.'

The brush becomes very thick and finally pushing through, I feel the ground give, and can see mud on my shoes. Pushing aside the brushes I see the lake. My imagination could not have prepared me for what my eyes are seeing. It is like finding a pearl in a clam. This little spot is definitely tucked away from everything and everyone. No one would be able to find this unless they were looking for it.

The water has this shining reflection, and a couple trees bend down, with the branches touching the water. It is almost like if someone were to bend down and with the tip of their fingers touch the water. In the distance I can see the little house that Katniss was talking about.

I can see a flock of geese swimming across the water. Wonder if I can quickly take a dip in the lake. The way Katniss spoke about it, it makes for a tempting endeavor to experience. Shaking my head I look at the sun's position and know that I am almost at the point where I do not start heading back I wouldn't make it time.

Finally found it, although I would probably not be able to get to it and back to District Twelve before it got dark.

Looking at the map, I place the location of the lake on the map, and begin to make my way back to path. Walking back up I find that it is a lot easier coming down than it is going up. Halfway up the smaller slope, I have to sit on a nearby tree as I am not as strong as I use to be.

I hear the birds singing, and I think to myself what kind of birds are those. Are they regular song birds or are they mockingjays.

'Just think if I was in the Games, I would probably be the first one out with the shape I am in,' I say huffing trying to get enough air.

Keep moving I tell myself. Thinking of Finnick telling us to keep moving through the jungle, to keep the pace and not stopping. Pushing myself, up the slope, I finally making it to the top.

Looking around, looking for the marker, that is when I hear it. The birds have gone quiet. I hear some rustling, and slowly pull out my knife. Scanning the landscape on where the sound is coming from, I see a hint of red and start to walk in the direction of what I believe is the marker.

'If I need to, I will make a dash for it, and up the tree.' I think to myself.

The tension in the air leads me to quietly move towards the marker.

Without hesitation, I turn and make a run for the red marker. Just as I am about a couple of feet towards it, I see the first one cut me off. There stands a wild dog, with his teeth snarling. I brandish my knife, waiting for it to make a move.

Just then I hear growling coming from behind, and I turn to see another one. There are now three leaving only the slope as my only retreat. The adrenaline kicks in and I can feel everything slow down. I feel one of the dog lunges; I turn and move out the way, kicking it in the ribs. Just then another one goes for my arm and I fall to the ground avoiding his teeth.

I turn onto my hands and knees get up and dig in my feet to make a break for the tree. I hear the running of the dogs next to me. Couple of feet I feel one actually rams into me knocking me on the ground while the other jumps to get my face. I lift up my arm to defend and that is when I feel it, the teeth sinking into my right forearm.

The pain makes the arm go numb, reaching over with my left hand stabbing the dog with my knife. He goes down immediately, limping off, and then collapsing a couple of feet away. I turn the knife around and swinging back cutting into the other dog into the ribs.

The one I had kicked is seen limping away, as I look around and see the two other dead next to me. Looking at my forearm, blood is coming pretty easy. I take off my shirt and tie it around the forearm. The scent will be out in the air, and if there are any other animals out there they will come. I have to hurry.

I start to run towards the marker and when I get there, I am dizzy. The marker. Where is the marker. The trees are moving. I place my hand on the tree and see the blood all over my hand.

There.

The red marker.

Two more.

I am running now, and stumbling along the way. Finally getting to the marker. I see that the fence is after the next marker. Have to get to her.

Don't know how but I think I am hallucinating, could be the lost of blood.

"Peeta, you have to keep moving," She says.

"No, no you aren't here. You are dead," I say.

"I know silly, but you still have to keep moving." She says.

The breathe become shallow, and finally make it to the fence. Right as I am getting into the hole. I feel the whole thing go dark.

"Peeta!" I hear and open my eyes, to see Thom.

"Get me to her," I say.

"Don't you go and die now." He says.

I can feel myself being taken through District Twelve, finally hearing a door opening and being placed on a hard surface. Must have passed out because when I wake up I am in a bed upstairs. Looking around I see that I am not in my room. She is there sleeping on a chair next to the bed. I look down and see she is holding my hand.

"Hey," I say.

She opens her eyes.

"Hey," she says. "You gave me quite a scare."

"Sorry," I say taking a dry gulp. "Didn't mean to."

"Rest, Peeta." She says.

Closing my eyes, I find that my body still not strong enough to keep conscience. It is okay because Thom got me to her. Just feeling that she is here and I feel safe. It is like the cave all over again.

This time I wake up and find that the lamps are on, and I can hear the rain outside. It is dark so it must mean that it is night time. Must have slept through the day.

I feel her hand on my forehead, gently caressing my hair, tenderly. Opening up my eyes I see that she hasn't moved or if she did she is back next to me holding my hand.

"Welcome back," she says. "You need to eat something so if you are up to it, I have some broth on the night stand."

I look over and see on the ground the ball up tissue paper. Her eyes all puffy and red.

"I am sorry," I say.

She lifts her hand which she has covered with her sweater up to her nose.

"It is okay," she says grabbing the broth from the night stand.

"No," I say. "It is not."

She places the bowl back down and looks at me.

"If you die, what am I going to do?" she says. "What were you thinking going out there alone, especially to that area, you remember all the stories I told you?"

"Wanted to see it with my own eyes." I say.

"What could be so important that you almost died, Peeta? You lost a lot of blood. You have been out for two days." She says.

Trying to get the words out, I can see that she is angry.

"Sketch book," I say.

She lets go of my hand and reaches for my bag. Opening it she sees a sketch book.

"Third page," I say.

She leaf through the pages and finally sees the makeshift map that I have been doing. The quick sketch that I had made on the house on the lake.

"Wanted to see it," I say. "To get started."

"Started on what?" she asks.

"Building the house in my dreams." I say.

She looks at me, closing the sketch book and placing it in the chair. She stands there looking outside the window, unsure of what to say. Nothing I could say, that would show her how much I am sorry for putting her through this.

"All this for a house you have never seen?" she says.

"You said it was the happiest place you could remember, and if you could go anywhere it would be there. Wanted to see it, get it prepared for you. I wanted to always make you happy." I say.

She turns and looks at me. Still not happy, but no longer upset, that has to count for something I say to myself.

"You already make me happy." She says. "Dying is something that is no longer an option for you."

"And for you," I say.

"Promise me something then," she says. "That you will let me go with you next time?"

I nod and take a deep breath.

"I didn't mean to you put through this," I say.

"I know," she says.

She grabs a spoon of the broth and begins to feed me one spoon full at a time. After the whole bowl is gone.

"Didn't we do this once?" I say. "Something about a kiss, when I was done?"

She can't help but to laugh about it. It seems that it was something she said once, but that was back in the Games.

She leans in and kisses me on the nose, telling me

"That is what you get for almost dying," she says.

Almost dying back then, and now almost dying right now, she says that she is going to have to teach me to hunt, because she cannot keep an eye on me forever.

"Well you did say that you were going to put me away somewhere, where I wouldn't get hurt," I say.

"Did you remember that on your own, or from the video?" she says.

"There was a video about it?" I say.

She nods and I shrug.

"Guess I am remembering." I say.

After eating she just lies back in the chair.

"Come here," I say.

I start to move over to the left, and find that my body is weaker than I had thought. I do however get enough of a space for her to come and join me. She at first refuses, until I tell her

"No more kisses until you do," I say smiling.

She walks over and lies down next to me. Finally as the whole day comes to an end, we both fall asleep in each other arms. Although one of my arms is covered in bandages, she doesn't mind.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Slowly my eyes open and I see that she is nuzzle in close to me. Her warm body wrapped in my arms just feels right. No nightmares, although the pain the bite is more evident today that it was yesterday. I think she might have given me some sleep syrup just to knock me out.

I hear a purring. Turning my head I see Buttercup laying on the foot of the bed just looking at us.

I slowly scoot back to see her face. She looks so peaceful, caressing her cheek, her eyes slowly open.

"Morning," I say.

She stretches and finally says,

"Morning, how did you sleep?"

"Better," I say. "Although the pain is still there. Not to mention we have a guest."

Pointing towards the foot of the bed. She looks down and looks at me.

"Ever since District Thirteen, he has been sleeping at the foot of the bed, in whatever bed I sleep in." she says. "He use to do that for Prim."

She sits up, shoo's the cat away and goes downstairs to get new dressings and warm water. Coming back upstairs, I find it difficult to even sit up. It is like someone has taken every ounce of my strength.

"Come here let me help you," she says. "You lost a lot of blood so your body is going to be weak for a little bit. You will just have to let me take care of you."

I smile and welcome the help from her. She places her hand on my back and with a little effort; I am able to sit up. She moves the bowl with the warm water to the night stand. Removing the bandages, I see the stitches on where the rip marks of the teeth were. Guess as he was whipped off my hand it rips my skin.

Moving my fingers, I see that it is a little difficult to close all the way my hand.

"There are some exercises that my mother told me that you can do to strengthen the muscles around the damage area," she says.

"Your mother?" I ask.

"Needed someone to walk me through what I was going to do to save you." She says, eyes starting to water. "Which reminds me, that she asked me to remind you of a promise?"

Thinking about it, there were many promises I made to her.

'You come home to your family, you hear me?' she says. And if it isn't too much to ask. Can you bring her home too?'

It was right before I left District Thirteen to meet up with the rebels in the Capitol. I had made a promise to her to always come back to my family. She had invited me into her family, telling me that I had another one here that loves me.

"Your getting better at being my own personal healer," I say while she wraps the new bandages around my forearm. She squeezes them at my statement, which causes me to yelp in pain.

"Oh sorry, just the thought of having to go through this again and my hand slipped." She says.

"I promise," I say.

"What? What do you promise?" She says.

"To not be foolish again. You are all I have left in this world." I say, grabbing her hand.

"Okay," she says. "Still mad at you, though."

She stands and takes the bowl. Walking downstairs with the bowl, the steps is very deliberate, every sound is heard, and every creak of the wood is heard. I hear the clinking of the bowl as she places it in the sink downstairs. Just then I can hear it, it is faint but I still hear it.

It is the sound of her quietly sobbing.

It pains me more to hear her crying that the pain I feel in my forearm. After a couple of minutes I hear her begin to walk upstairs and finally come into the room.

"Katniss, come here," I say.

Her arms crossed.

"Please," I say.

She finally comes over and sits on the edge of the bed, facing out. It is hard for her to trust anyone, and people who she loved have left her. Her father died when she was young, her best friend left her here all alone, and her little sisters died, when she needed her the most, and now I am almost die.

"I won't leave you," I say.

She turns and looks at me.

"Promise?" she says.

"As long as you want me here, I won't ever leave you." I say.

She smile finally and nods.

"So what do you want to do today?" I say.

"Not much you can do Peeta. Doctor's order." She says.

I furrow my eyebrow.

"But aren't you the doctor?" I say.

"Yes, and in my professional opinion all you can do is just lie here." She says.

"Well okay, if it is what the Doctor says." I say smiling. "Come here,"

She lies down with me, and we just look at each other for a couple of minutes.

"So tell me about yourself," I ask.

"Kind of general don't you think? What do you want to know?" She asks.

"Well let's start with when you were born and then up to today?" I say jokingly.

She starts to tell me about what she can remember when she was young. How she started walking when she was nine months or at least that is what her mother told her. She was a tom boy and learned to shoot back when she was five.

"So you were already deadly at five huh?" I say.

"Hardly," she says. "I couldn't even hit the side of a barn. But we practice in the woods."

She tells me about the times that they would go into the woods, her and her dad. How he would let her go into the woods by herself, or at least that is what she thought, once catching him watching her form a far.

"We would play this game, where we would see who can sing the longest and have the Mockingjays repeated it." She says.

I can just picture it, the forest how it is filled with birds of every kind and having them sing to them. Wish I could have seen it.

She tells me about how she loved those times with her father. How the memories of her father causes her to miss him dearly.

"I know what you mean," I say. "I miss my father and have been thinking about him a lot lately."

"What do you miss the most about him?" She asks me.

Sitting there in bed I think about it. There are just so many things that I could say. There are just so many things I wish we could again.

After about a couple minutes, I look at her.

"I think I miss how he always knew just what to say, just when I needed it." I say. "You know once I was feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere, he just sat me down by the old tree in the back of the bakery and he told me 'You know it isn't that you are weird, it is that the whole world is weird and you are the only normal one here'"

She looks at me, caresses my cheek with her hand and says

"You are a little weird, you know that?" she says.

"Look who is talking," I say "If you are here with me, means you are just as weird."

She doesn't realize that she is close enough to grab. She is quick but if I can distract long enough.

"Hey it is still raining," I say.

She turns and looks at the window leaving me the perfect opportunity and I grab her. She lets out a yelp.

"Peeta!" she yells. "Your injury!"

"Worth it because I have been wanting to do this," I say, looking at her. Leaning in she closes her eyes and I kiss her on the tip of her nose.

She laughs and looks at me.

"See, you are weird," she says, pressing her lips on mine.

"No," I say. "Just wanted you to kiss me."

She laughs and tells me.

"If you are strong enough to grab me, you are strong enough to come downstairs to eat," she says.

She stands and walks over to the doorway. I remove the blanket and slowly move my legs to the edge. I make it my point not to place any weight on my right arm.

"Help me off the bed?" I ask.

She nods no.

Taking quick breathes I prepare myself by rocking back and forth. Finally taking the leap I try to stand.

"If you can make it here, I will give you a kiss," she says.

Good incentive I think. She could say that to anything and I will more than likely do it. Pushing myself I finally make it to her. Just as I am moving in to get my prize, she continues to walk backwards causing me to continue to walk.

Getting to the stairs she walks down the steps and tells me to be careful walking down. Feeling light headed I stop at the top of the steps to catch my breath.

Working one step at a time finally I make it to her. She is laughing and finally embraces me.

"Got you," I say.

"Now that you have me what are you going to do with me?" she says.

"Hey, stop stealing my lines," I say laughing.

She smiles and finally our lips touch and I can feel her heart beat.

"Come on, let's eat," she says.

Walking hand in hand to the kitchen is easier than trying to catch her. On the table are the plates ready, with food.

We sit down and start to eat.

"So," I say. "You are still around five."

Surprised by the thought that I still wanted to know more, she lets out a sigh and continues.

"Well, I met you in school around seven, I think." She says. "We had math class together."

"Well I noticed you a lot earlier, but I guess that was the first time you noticed me." I say.

She shakes her head no.

"You had a white button down shirt and brown pants. You were carrying a box for your father in the bakery." She says. "You must have been six I think."

Interesting.

"I remember seeing you everyday sitting by the tree in the yard eating lunch by the wind chimes." I say.

"I loved those things," she say. "The way the wind would make music with them, it was nice the same song. Would hum along the song of the wind chimes."

Can just picture it in my head. Her sitting there at the base of the tree, humming along with the wind chimes.

It is how I remember the willow tree at the end of the Seam. Where she sang to me as lullaby. It was where she brought me back from losing myself. Showing me that I can just be me and that it was enough for her.

I grab her hand and smile.

"I just remembered." I say.

"What?" she says.

"That day in the arena when you started to whistle to the mockingjays and suddenly one chorus started and then another, interweaving into each other." I say.

"Oh yeah, I had forgotten about that," she says. "What that was until the mutts jump onto the plain."

"Won't be forgetting that one," I say.

"Which reminds me," she says. "What attacked you?"

"Pack of wild dogs," I say.

"You didn't climb up a tree?" She says.

"They surrounded me," I say. "Got two of them, before the third one clamped down on my arm. But it isn't my turn; you jumped from seven year old to now. Nothing happened in between?"

She sticks out her tongue at me, and asks if I wasn't sick of hearing her talk about herself.

"I could hear about her all day and still not get sick of hearing about it." I say.

"Well isn't this nice. If you would have done this back in the District Thirteen probably this would have turned out differently." I hear someone say from the living room.

Without either one of us turning, we continue to eat. I lift up my leg to the chair next to us and slide it out.

"Heard you coming up the steps," she says.

"Smelled you coming out of your house," I say. "Did you eat already Haymitch?"

"Look, love birds, I didn't come here to eat, I came here to tell you something." He says.

We both look at him. He looks just as bad as he always did, but now drunk, he is acting just like he always had. His hand still on the flask.

"Your presence has been requested." He says with a seriousness in his face.

"Her presence? Where?" I say.

"Your Doctor tried to get a continuance," he says. "However the council has denied it. We have to be on the train first thing tomorrow."

"No," I immediately say. Turning to her, I say, "let's go, we can run off into the woods like you said. No one would ever find us."

I caress her cheek. She kisses my hand.

"Peeta," she says. "It is okay. We all knew that it would someday come to this."

Turning to Haymitch.

"Couldn't you have done something?" I ask.

"Look here boy," he says. "They wanted to bring in guards to secure her, saying that she is a dangerous criminal, I talked them down. Saying that I will bring her in, on the Capitol train."

"Why are they continuing this?" I say. "The war is over, can't they just leave us alone?"

I stand and kick the chair to the ground. Walking over to the sink I grab the counter. Starting to shake, I can feel that I might lose her just as I finally found her.

I feel her hands, and can hear her humming.

"It is okay, Peeta. We made a promise to each other no?" She says.

I turn and she grabs my hands.

Looking over her shoulder. I address the messenger that has come to kill the dream.

"I am going with her," I say.

"Boy, wouldn't have it any other way." He says.

He stands takes a spoonful of my food in his mouth.

"Hmm, it is good," he says.

Turns and walks outside.

"Bright and early," he says.

Walking outside, I can tell through the insensitive remarks, that he is hurting just as bad. We have become our own dysfunctional family, and however we push each other away, we still love each other.

She walks and sits on the sofa.

Walking over to her, I sit next to her.

She grabs my hands and looks at me in my eyes.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" She says. "I don't want to be alone."

Wiping away the tear that was coming down her cheek.

"Not crying because I am scared. I am crying because I don't want you to be alone should it come to it. You deserve to be happy." She says.

"I am happy when I am with you." I say. "Can we just be happy tonight?"

She nods and I kiss her there on the sofa of her house. Thinking that tomorrow morning, we would have to get on the train and go to the Capitol.

Back to the belly of the beast. They still hunting to kill the Mockingjay, even though she is just a girl that isn't even seventeen yet. We just sit there, holding each other, knowing that time is just too short.

"Did I ever tell you about the time, your mother gave me the locket?" I say.

She looks at me surprised.

"My mother gave you the locket?" she says.

I nod. I see her grab the chain and pull up the locket that was around her neck. She examines it again, checking the little nicks and scratches.

"She told me that it was your fathers. That she had given it to him when they were dating." I say. "I want you to know that you were always the one keeping me going."

She gently opens the locket, and in there, falls the perfect little pearl. She hands it to me.

"I want you to know that you were always the one keeping me going." She says.

"You kept it," I say.

"Always with me at all times," she says. "When you were taken from me, I kept it there in the locket, knowing that I would find you once again."

"Did I ever tell you what Finnick told me about the pearl?" I say.

She shakes her head no.

"Well it was that time that we were preparing that last big seafood feast. He tells me about a tradition that they have back in their District. Every year all the males of the District would go in their boats, to catch oysters. It was said that inside oysters sometimes you can find a pearl. If you were destined to be with the one you love, then a pearl was just a way of confirming that. Because you see, an oyster spends it entire life making it, meaning that the love is forever." I say.

She looks at it now, and understands why it was so important to me that she have it that night.

"It is how I feel," I say. "It is how I will always feel. I wanted you to know that."

Grabbing my hand she does what only we can understand. It is our way, our special way of telling the other how we feel.

Placing the pearl back in the locket she closes it, and places it back around her neck.

"I will be with you the whole way there," I say. "If I can I will even be inside there with you."

"Promise?" she says.

"Promise." I respond.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Falling asleep this night was as difficult as trying to sleep the night before the Games. The nightmares are so vivid that the only way I can calm myself is to see her next to me. Couldn't even image how I would be doing if I was sleeping over in my house. More than likely would have grabbed a sleeping bag and slept in front of her door.

During the night when I find that both of us are asleep, I ask her if she wanted to go upstairs and rest in the bed. She said no, that she is comfortable where she is.

She places her head on my chest, saying that although she cannot sleep, that hearing my heart beat gives her some sort of peace. This is the first time I have felt her fear. She may act like a fearless person but truth be known she is still just a girl, with her life in the balance.

I had always wished that they would just forget about us and let us live our lives in peace here in District Twelve. It seems that the rigidness of this new government will not let any so call crime go without punishment. Knowing Doctor Aurellis, he must have tried every little trick in the book to get more time, to have them forget about this.

I cannot be mad at anyone actually. They are just closing a pending case of assassination of their President. Thinking about how far we have come, since the Reaping three years ago. Things have never been truly going right for either of us. We have just been trying to survive, only wishing to be left alone.

Getting up in the early morning, walking over to the kitchen, I don't think that Sae will be coming this morning or we just might miss her. I crack open some eggs on a pan and start the stove. Look through the cupboards and find some flour to do some bread. Shredding some cheddar cheese I place it on a bowl.

Rubbing my eyes trying to focus on the task, as everything is blurry. Hearing the crackling sound of the eggs, I start to move them around. Placing the food on the table with covers, I place a note on the table.

'Going to go get some clothes among other things, be right back,'

Walking over to my house, I go upstairs and pack some shirts and some pants. Still weak from the injury but somehow I make it both upstairs and downstairs without passing out. Grabbing some pencils, and reminding myself to get the sketch book upstairs from Katniss's room, I walk back.

She is there in the distance standing outside in her t-shirt and pajamas.

"Go back inside, it is cold outside," I say.

"You weren't there," she says.

"I left a note, needed clothes to change." I say.

"You sure you want to come? What if…" she starts to say.

"Let's not talk about that, today we are going to enjoy just being together. Okay?" I say.

She nods and I place my arm around her.

"Come on, let's eat some breakfast." I say.

We eat breakfast and she asks me now to tell her about myself.

"Well let's see, I saw you when I was five like you know. Immediately fell in love," I say.

She blushes and tells me that she thought it was only a crush.

"Couldn't exactly say that I was in love on national television," I say.

"But you can say that you had a crush on me? That we are going to get married and that I was pregnant?" She says laughing.

"Well when you say it like that," I say.

I told her about how I learned to the tools of the trade at the age of five and was already baking bread when I was six. She was surprised when I told her about the story of the race where she won in a sprint against all the older girls.

Once done eating, I asked her if she needed any help upstairs.

"No," she says. "Be right back going to through some things in a bag."

Sitting downstairs, I remember about the sketch book. Walking up the steps still take some effort and finally at the top of the steps I call out to her.

"Katniss?" I say.

She peek her head out of the door.

"Can you grab the sketch book?" I ask.

She says that she will, and I begin to walk downstairs. That is when I see that he is already downstairs waiting for us.

"You look sober," I say.

"Have to; remember it is all about appearance" he says.

Walking down the steps we walk out heading for the train station. Walking in front of Haymitch, we pretend that we are taking a walk down to the Square.

"When we get back, will you teach me how to shoot?" I ask.

"Of course, teach me how to bake?" she says.

"Sae said that we would need to have someone teach us how to clean to be completely functional." I say laughing.

She laughs along with me. People see walking with our bags and each one of them stop us and wish us luck.

"You bring her home, you hear," some little old lady tells me poking me in the chest.

"You hear that, now you have to bring me home." She says.

I nod at the little old lady. She smiles and walks to the well with her buckets. Many of us do not have the luxury of having running water. At the bakery because our store was providing pastries and breads to the Capitol we had running water. Many of the other people did not, and would have to take baths. The one thing we never had was hot running water. That was only reserved for the Mayor, or that is what I heard.

By the bakery I see the same group of guys working with heavy machinery to get the remaining parts of the Square cleared away.

Thom currently working the bulldozer sees me and waves me down.

"Hey I see you guys have continued working. Sorry I haven't been back out here." I say.

"No worries man, you had your mishap out in the forest, but wanted to thank you." He says.

"For what?" I say.

"For giving us a purpose about our District. Everyone has been volunteering to help in rebuilding the District and we have been sharing our food with people who need it most. We are all in this together," he says.

I smile and he pats me on the shoulder.

Walking towards the train station, they stand there waiting for us. As we approach the train, they ask for our bags. We hand it to them, and they actually open the bags and check to see if we have any weapons. They don't realize that as Victor of the Hunger Games, we can use just about anything as a weapon.

We walk inside, and directed into the sitting room where we have someone waiting for us.

"Thank you for being prompt." The person says.

"Transportation is being provided for Soldier Katniss Everdeen, Soldier Peeta Mellark, and Haymitch Abernathy. The purpose behind this is a request has been made for Soldier Katniss Everdeen to appear before the Council for the charge of Treason against the New Capitol." The person says.

New Capitol. I am guessing that is the name of the new government. What is the new name of the Panem, New Panem?

"You are restricted to this train, we will be making one schedule stop to refuel in which you will be permitted a break that will be supervised by two arm guards," he continues. "Meals will be scheduled as well. Do you have any questions?" He finally finishes.

"No," I say.

A group of soldiers come in the waiting room and line up in front of us. One speaks up.

"Permission to speak freely," he asks.

"Permission granted," Haymitch says.

"We are bound by law to follow the orders that have been given to us. We however would like to shake your hands and tell you thank you for your service. Because of you, we are free." He says.

We are all shocked by this, but we graciously accept and each one of them shakes our hands and then salutes us with the District Twelve symbol of thanks.

They all walk out of the waiting room and the train begins to move. Haymitch gives out a laugh and walks out to his room. Katniss just sits down on the chair guessing she is stunned by what just happened.

"Peeta, what just happened?" She says.

"They were just saying thank you, Katniss," I say. "Come on, let's get settled in."

I stick out my hand for hers, and she just looks up and places it in mines. I grab her bag and mine with my other hand and walk to the room assigned to her. Reaching her door unsure whether or not she wants me there, I let her go in first and as I am letting go of her hand, she grabs onto it even tighter and pulls me in.

I let out a big sigh of relief and all she does is smile.

I place the bag on the ground next to the closet, and she just lies down on the bed. She pats the area next to her and I just lie down there next to her.

"So," she says. "Where were we? That is right you were eleven."

I half chuckle amazed on how nothing fazes her.

"Well during those times, after school I would come home and help with the bakery. My father was getting older and wasn't sleeping much." I say.

"How come?" she says.

"My brothers were still eligible for the Reaping, so some days I would find him pacing back and forth in the mornings." I say.

"My sister would wake up screaming, thinking that I would be called." She says. She starts to yawn, and slowly close her eyes for a second.

"Sleep Katniss, you must be tired." I say.

"Well I am a little bit tired. But don't want to close my eyes." She says.

"Sleep for a little, it is okay. I will be here when you wake up." I say.

She closes her eyes, and finally goes to sleep. I stroke her hair and just watch her innocently sleep. The New Capitol thinks that this is a face of a killer, but all I see is the little girl who lost her family.

Although I started this little game, it has brought up many memories of my family. They are happy ones, but still I miss them every day.

Sliding out from the bed, I just sit there at the edge of bed. Looking at my hands, I still remember what he told me that day while waiting in Justice Building. I had just been selected for the Hunger Games and back then Capitol allowed each of the tributes family to say goodbye.

My father was just leaving when he saw that I was having doubts. It was hard to hear my mother actually say that I had no chance of winning. He always knew what to say, even when I didn't know what to do.

'We are the same, you and me. We have the same hands and the same heart.' He told me.

Looking at my hands, it is difficult to come to terms that although I miss him, I would never see him again. The thought is enough to allow my emotions to rise to the surface and I start to cry quietly.

Probably in this small moment when she is asleep I can finally let myself absorb the grief. Quietly the tears flow a little bit more freely. It is the first time that I have allowed myself to break without it building to it. Haven't been able to take it all in, to experience all that I have lost. The darkness never felt as lonely as it does right now.

I feel her hand on my back. Looking back she sees that I have been crying.

"You miss them don't you?" she says.

"I am sorry" I say.

"What for?" She says.

"Here you are fighting for your life, and I am supposed to be strong for you." I say.

She moves her hand up to my face wiping off the tears.

"We protect each other, that is what we do," she says. "We can be strong together."

"This is a dream," I say. "Real or not real?"

"Not real," She says. She grabs my hand and places it on her chest. "Feel this?"

I feel her heartbeat.

"Your heart?" I say.

"That is how you know that this is not a dream," she says.

A knock on the door lets us know that it is time for lunch. I raise my hand to her cheek draw her in, and kiss her. Her lips so soft and warm. I place my arms around her waist and can feel her give into the kiss. Time seems to have slowed down, her lips, her warm body; I can feel almost everything around me. Even the slight shutter we both give.

We finally allow ourselves the time to continue without us, and just stare at each other lovingly.

"You hungry?" I ask.

"Just a little," she says.

"Well let's see what they are serving." I say.

Walking to the door, finally opening there stands before us our old escort shaking her head.

"What did I tell you both about showing up late for meals? It is a sign of bad manners," Effie Trinket says.

I hug Effie, seeing how Katniss was the one who told me that Effie had somehow survived the entire war. In her usual pink wig that of course matches her outfit, she at first lifts up her hands as she is unsure of what to do.

Katniss of course lets out a laugh and finally I feel the quick pat on the back from Effie.

"No one told us that you would be here," I say.

"We who else would escort you to the New Capitol," she says. "Which if you ask me, looks a lot like the old Capitol, but with some minor changes."

"Tell us all about it, please," Katniss says.

That certainly got us off the hook and on Effie's good side. She walks us to the dining car where Haymitch has already been there waiting. Instead of Capitol attendant like we are use to, now the dining car has Capitol Soldiers, after all this is not a social visit.

"Be a dear, and tell them that we are ready," Effie tells the Soldiers as she would tell an attendant. Same old Effie, as proper as ever, even with her now obsolete Capitol accent.

I pull out Katniss's seat, which Effie praises me on. She says that all the training that she has done, has certainly stuck with us.

"Unlike Haymitch's training," I say.

"You mean drinking and falling?" Katniss says.

Katniss and myself laughs, while Haymitch who you can tell is fighting withdrawals just look at us. He is drink from what we can tell is coffee, and is in one of his moods.

We all look around waiting for the strategy session to begin. If Effie and Haymitch are here there are some things that we both have to do in order to come off the way they want us to. Lunch is being served which is some sort of wild salmon from District Four, with chilled vegetables. It is a very delicious fish although neither of us have the stomach to eat it, what with nerves and all.

Once we finish eating, Effie starts to tell us what is going to happen.

"Well Katniss, today is going to be a big big big day." She says. "Once we arrive in the New Capitol, we will be brought to the Justice Building which was completed a couple of weeks ago. There you will stand before the Tribunal."

"Tribunal?" I ask.

"Well after the war, there was the council that consisted of twelve representatives from each of the District minus the one which you are from." She says. "Now the Tribunal will consist of the same number but the President will be the Thirteenth person sitting on the Tribunal."

Judge by thirteen people, who know nothing of the situation. These people who would play God with her life, have never been in combat, and in fact are the new positions sought after, and not Gamemakers but now they are called Councilman.

"Councilmen, Gamemakers, what are the difference, they are still playing with our lives." I say.

"Well Peeta, the difference is that these Councilmen, where actually selected by the people of each of the District." She says. "District Twelve doesn't have one yet, because the crime happened by one of its citizen. They felt that it would be like having a mentor there to sway things, so it was considered an unjust advantage."

"What are their qualifications?" I say. "Who gives them the right?"

"Well the people voted, and not just military personnel but regular people of the District who were selected. They want this New Capitol, to be a free republic, or that is what they are calling it." She says.

A free republic. I have heard of it, my father would tell me tales of the old world, where they had a balance of power. No one had absolute power, but was shared among the people.

"So they will hear the case, weigh the evidence, and finally adjourn to decide the outcome. The President however has the power to overrule the judgment and select a different one, if so chooses." She says.

"So at the end there is only one person who to convince? The President of Panem." She says.

"No easy task, but you have been through worst," Haymitch says.

The train begins to slow down and we are alert of the schedule stop to refuel.

"You have a shot sweetheart, remember that," he says.

"Yes, Katniss, it is about poise and how you conduct yourself." Effie says.

"So it is about how to play the Game, how to play to what they want to hear me say," Katniss says. She pauses and looks down. I reach and grab her hand. "Sounds like the Hunger Games to me."


	10. Chapter 10

Part II

"The Tribunal"

Chapter Ten

If you can hit the pause button on your life with the one you love, everything that happens around you wouldn't really matter. That is what happens whenever I am around her. It is like life takes a back seat and being around her is the only thing that matters. Just being in the moment is all that matters. This is something that my father taught me.

'How do you know?' I ask.

'Oh, the big question.' He says. 'Come we need to sit down for this one.

He walks over to the door of the bakery and turns the sign from open to closed.

'So how do you know,' he repeats as he sits down. 'Well no one really knows the answer but this is what I think,' he begins to say.

I make it a point to pay attention to what he is about to say. It was just before the announcement of the Quarter Quell and although we were friends at this moment she was still on my mind. I knew at that moment that she would forever be in my mind; however the question of if this was the real thing or if this just because of the circumstances that we found ourselves in. It was something that weighed on my mind and kept me up at night.

'You know when time stands still, literally it stops' he says.

'What do you mean?' I ask.

'Well you know when everything around you is moving along, life is moving along and your time is still with her,' he says. 'That is when you know.'

To him everything was about the one you loved. It is what I was looking for at that moment to understand that it was the real thing. Looking at her, she is going through one of most difficult things that I can imagine and she says the one thing and I know what my father was talking about.

"So, what do you want to do," she says.

"Want to take a walk with me?" I say stretching out my hand.

She only has to think about it for a second before she smiles and grabs my hand with both her hands. Everyone around us is worried about how she is going to act and what she is going to say, but we are in our own little world. For the first time it is just us and no one else is invited.

We walk to the next car and then the next one, finally coming to the last car.

"Remember the last time we were back here? I wonder if it does the same thing as the other one." I say.

She smiles and we sit down.

"So one thing I don't know about you?" She asks.

I have to think about it because one I don't remember much about me, and two I have told everything that I do remember.

"I have always wanted a dog," I say.

"So what would we do with buttercup?" She says smiling.

"Haven't thought about it, guess they will just have to get along." I say.

She nuzzles up to me and we just spend the next hours just talking about what we would do when we got back.

"First thing we have to do is to teach you how to hunt," she says.

"That would be great, but we have to go slow, cause you know I have a bad leg, but have been working really hard to be quiet," I say.

She giggles. She started to tell me how my quiet back in the Games, was chasing everything away. That she had to tell me take off my shoes to lessen the sound.

"I kind of figured; thank you for sparing my feelings by taking your shoes all too." I say poking her in the ribs.

She laughs and tells me that she didn't want to seem mean to the audience. But then of course I bring up the times that she was mean to me back in District Twelve.

"Were you just practicing for when the cameras would be on you?" I say laughing.

"Something like that," she says.

Then there is a pause, a silence, an awkward moment in the conversation, when we allowed time in to our little world.

"You know this might not happen," she says.

"Ssssh," I whisper in her ear. "It will; you have to believe that.

"You believe that, don't you?" She says.

"Well I believed that one day I would get to hold you in my arms. I was ten, and look at me now. Only took me almost eight years." I say.

And just like that, she begins to laugh again. Time stands still in our little world and everyone else has been removed.

"Eight years, talk about a long time," she says. "Hope that the anticipation was like what you were expecting."

There is a moment, a pause.

"Peeta?" she says.

"Was thinking about what you just said. You are more than what I could ever dream of." I say.

She looks up from her position on my chest. I look down and she just smiles. She turns her head to face me, and there in the sunset, the train whistling by at a high speed. No one around us, time standing still, it is just us in our little world. There, we kiss before the train begins to slow down.

Looking outside the window I see the beginning of the mountain. It is the same mountain that I remembered the mechanical spiders and the run through the forest.

She stands up, looks at me.

"Time to face reality," she says.

"Well if we must, let do it together," I say.

The door slides open and I see Effie has found us.

"Come on, we have lots to do before your hearing," she says.

Walking back with her hand in hand I wonder what it would be like. Would there be a crowd waiting for us, would there be cameras, all these questions I ask myself while I pick up both my bags and hers.

She offers to take her own bag saying that my injury still hasn't healed properly. I mentioned that I was fine, when actually it did start to hurt. The train comes to complete stop and what we see is nothing short of a miracle.

There is no one there.

No crowds, no cameras, no one wanting to get a picture of us, or wish us well. This is not the same Capitol that was fascinated with us and our love story, this New Capitol, has better things to do.

"Come, the cars are waiting for us at the entrance." Effie says.

Walking towards the cars, surrounded by arm guards one can't help to notice that intension in the air. Is it because of Katniss's hearing? Or is there something else that we are not being told. The doors open and we are quickly ushered into the cars. The guards get on motorbikes and Effie and Haymitch in the car to the rear of us. There is a lead car that pulls out first.

"En route, ETA ten minutes," the driver says through a radio.

Looking around at the construction of the Capitol, one can't help but wonder if it would be the same people who live here, or will they be relocated to the Districts. Would they want to live outside the Capitol seeing how now it won't be the extravagant parties and wasteful nature?

There are no cars, or people on the street. Where could they all be? I feel Katniss's hand tighten around mines and I look at her. She is looking outside the window down the empty streets. It looks like the same streets that we once battled through, where we lost lots of friends.

In the far distance down one of the side streets I could see some sort of barriers.

"Passing barriers, ETA five minutes," the drivers radios in.

Wonder what barriers, and is that why the people are nowhere to be found on the streets. We drive through some of the neighborhoods when we finally make it to the newly constructed Justice Building.

The old Capitol never had the need to have a Justice Building. These buildings were for when Capitol officials would come to the District. Here in the Capitol the officials had no reason to get together, as the law was established by the President and controlled by President.

The Justice Building is impressive. The columns reach up for what I think is about sixty feet. At the very top of the Justice Building is a quote etched in stone.

'If we burn, you burn with us. We will never forget.'

There to the left and to the right are massive crowds with signs, and they are shouting something. We are parked in the front of the building and guards are waiting for us. I can only catch a couple of the signs as we are rushed inside.

'Mockingjays are born free, they should fly free'

Are these crowds in support of letting Katniss go? Do we still have the sympathy of the Capitol even after we have taken their president? Inside the doors I hear a guard radio in.

'Package is secured,' he says.

Military talk, every single time I was transported anywhere, it was always the package. I turn around and look at Haymitch.

"What is going on?" I ask.

"Your guess is as good as mine; remember I have no connection in this new government." He says.

Looking up I see a grand atrium with light that shines in from a dome onto a garden in the lobby. The water that rushes in from the fountains makes the atmosphere at the top of the roof. There are four floors that I can see. The dark woods and marble flooring give a nice contrast and almost inviting feeling. Around the atrium are statues and paintings.

"Peeta," I hear her say.

Turning around I see her approach a painting, and find that it is my painting. It is the painting of Katniss rising from the haze of smoke, bow in hand.

"Where did you get these?" I ask.

"Oh those were found in storage from when you brought them to the Capitol in the train." Effie says. "You can find most if not all of them spread around the Justice Building."

"We are on a tight schedule, please follow us," a soldier cuts in.

We follow them. After the garden are some wooden double doors that have been burned. They are the doors from a fallen building in one of the Districts. Everything that surrounds us is a clear reminder of the war, or the struggles that we all had to go through.

Finally around to the side of the inner room we are taken through a side door and into a room where there are sofas.

"Wait here, an attendant will call you when they are ready." The soldier says leaving. He does something odd; he shakes our hands and walks out.

"Effie, what is going on? What is with the barriers, and everyone instead of escorting us because of a crime, we are protected like we are made of gold?" Katniss says.

"Well Katniss, there are so much that has happened after you were taken to District Twelve." She starts. "Here in the Tribunal, there has always been the divided separation of the Districts that believe that they should let you go, and the others who want to punish you for the crime."

We sit down and Effie continues to explain how life in the New Capitol has been.

"This event here has been debated for months, some wishing to bring you in earlier, and others wanting to give Doctor Aurellis more time." She continues. "The people in the Capitol have been protesting ever since they heard that the hearing was proceeding today. They had to set up barriers to keep you safe. There were rumblings that people would try to help you escape and others that would want to hurt you."

Pass these doors I can hear rumblings or people preparing microphones and other moving chairs. There we will see twelve councilmen and the President. Effie tells us that the vote does not have to be unanimous; that with the odd number of people on the Tribunal, the President would be the tie breaker should it come to it.

I look at her, and find that same determined face of a hunter. It is when I know that she has set something in her mind that she will carry out. When she had planned to safe me in the Quarter Quell, it was the same look. Nothing I could do, no words could I say would change her mind back then.

"Sweetheart, you have a real shot to win this," Haymitch says.

"If she wins, then what, another hearing later on and then another one, when will it end?" I say disgusted by this whole new process.

"No, if she wins here, according to the new laws, there is no re-trial, there is no appeal, and you would be free completely." He responds.

Complete freedom, which is something that neither of us have ever experience. We have only experienced it in our own little world, where no one but us lives. That little house in the Victor's village, no one bothered us, no one even minded us just living our lives there.

We could finally make a life; have everything that we have ever dreamed of. Probably build a house next to the lake. Of course first I would need better weapons. Probably learn how to shoot a bow, and a sword. A knife really isn't the best weapon.

She looks at me and I smile.

"Almost there," I say.

She nods and asks me if I could get her some water. I stand and walk over to the table with the bottle of waters. Turning around I see that she has been there just staring at me. I walk over to her and hand her the bottle water.

"So, settle something for me?" I ask.

"What?" She says.

"Lady," I say. "You got her with the money you gotten from Rooba, on the deer you shot in the woods right?" I say.

"That is right," she says.

"I knew it," I say. "The Capitol back in the Detention Center showed me the video of Games and there you say it was because of some jewelry that you had sold. I knew that wasn't right but I was never really sure."

"I am sorry," she says. "I am sorry for what you had to go through there. I am sorry that I didn't go back for you, but you know if I could have I would have gone that same night."

"I know," I say. "It isn't your fault. I have come to terms with that."

Her eyes begin to tear.

"How could you forgive me like that," she says.

"I can because it wasn't your fault. You shouldn't carry this burden on you. If it was anyone's fault it was President Snow."

She pokes me.

"Hey, that tickles," I say.

"Wanted to see if you were real," she says.

Grabbing her hand, I place it on my chest. It was the same thing that she did for me to know that she was real, that it wasn't a dream.

She nods and smiles.

It is right then a knock on the door. Everyone thinks that it is time. Haymitch walks to the door and opens it.

He closes the door.

"Well?" Katniss says.

"Peeta, let's go and have a talk. Effie, find out for me what the current schedule is and if we are running behind or not. Don't want any surprises." Haymitch says.

Little hesitant on why would Haymitch want to talk to me, especially right now. He is basically clearing the room with the exception of Katniss, but for whom and for what reason.

"I think…" I start to say.

"It is okay, Peeta," she says. "I will be fine."

Effie walks out with trying to find the nearest Capitol attendant. Walking out next Haymitch places his hand on my back and leads me out. Next to the door, I see him there, standing, waiting for us to leave the room. I haven't seen him since Tigris's shop, Gale Hawthrone.

'She loves you, you know.' I say. 'She as good as told me when they whipped you.'

'Don't believe it.' He says. 'The way she kissed you in the Quarter Quell…well, she never kissed me like that.'

'It was part of the show,' I say.

'No, you have won her over. Gave up everything for her. Maybe that's the only way to convince her you love her.' He says.

He looks at me, approaches me and sticks out his hand. I look at it and realize that he is only here as a friend. I stick it out and he shakes it. Just before he lets go, he turns it and sees the scars of where Katniss bit into my hand that day when she was trying to kill herself.

Although we have never really seen things eye to eye we have realized that we both care deeply for Katniss, and would do anything for her.

"You look good; I heard you were off as an official somewhere in District Two." I say.

"Something like that." He says. He stands his face you can tell has lost its light, and is weathered by the war. He is in a very sharp suit with no tie. "Thank you for keeping her safe that day."

We each nod to each other. We have come to an understanding. My dream was that Katniss would be happy, and would have a family someday. If it was with me, I would be happy, but if it were with him, I would still be happy. It isn't about me today, it is about her.

He walks in and the door closes.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

It is something that he deserves, some time alone with her. She spent almost all of her life with him, she trusted him with her life, the least I could do is alone him the privacy that he would should the tables have turned.

That is one of the hardest things to accept. Thinking that if he had volunteered or if he was selected for the Games then everything would have changed, everything would be different. Who knows if I would even be alive? Would she even look twice at me?

"So what did you want to talk about?" I ask Haymitch.

"You have to prepare yourself for the possibility that she might come home." He says. "Have you thought of that?"

"Every day since she has been back in District Twelve," I say. "It is the nightmare that has been keeping me up every day. It is in the back of my mind."

What do you do when all you can think about is losing the one thing that you dreamt about? It is enough to make you lose your mind, or appreciate the little time you have.

"If it turns out that she chooses him, then I would happy for her. I won't lie, it would hurt and probably would be home for a while, but sooner or later I will walk out again." I say. "She deserves it, she deserves happiness."

He looks at me.

"You truly are a fool," he says. "For the first time in your life, don't be a coward. All you do is what you think is right, what about you, don't you deserve it? You don't see it, but I see how she looks at you, she is herself when she is with you."

He walks away shaking his hand, muttering something. Sitting there, I think about what he said. Have I been a coward all this time?

Just then I see the door open and Gale walks out. He looks my way and nods, walking to the outside door. Standing I walk towards the room, and just as I am getting there, I find her there sitting.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Oh yes, Gale just wanted to talk about how are things back home," she starts.

She looks down and then lets out a deep breath.

"I can't do it," she says.

"What?" I ask.

"We had decided a while back not to hide anything from each other," she says. "Yes he did ask me about things back home, but he also told me how he felt about me, and how much he missed me."

I look at her. She could have easily just told me the first part and then I would have believed her. She knows that. It is almost like she remembered how much it hurt me when I found out that she was lying, back then about her feelings for me.

"Katniss," I say. "I have been a coward."

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"I have always been taught to do the right thing." I start to say. "It is true that I want you to be happy, that is my desire in life. But I would be lying if I didn't at least tell you, that I would love to be the one who bring you happiness."

She stands and crosses her arms. Walking away, as to take in what I just said, and what he just said. It is the one thing that I never wanted to do, was to have her make a choice. Especially not on a day like today, would I expect her to make such an important decision.

"Look, Katniss, I didn't mean, to burden you…" I start to say.

"You were the only one that came back," she interrupts me. "Peeta, you were the only one who cared enough to come back for me."

It is the reason though that gets me. I am the only one who came back. It isn't because she loves me, or wishes to be with me, it was because I was the only one loyal enough to stick with her.

"I only came back because of how I feel about you." I say.

The door opens and the soldier comes in.

"It is time," he says.

She leans in to my ear and whispers.

"I will talk to you soon," she says.

Walking out, I try to stay with her, but the guard stops me.

"Sir, you are not allowed to follow her into the hearing, but we have made preparations for you to be in the viewing gallery." He says.

"Promise?" she says.

"Promise." I tell her.

They open a door and she walks inside the Tribunal. Capitol attendants take me to the outside atrium and up some stairs, to a viewing gallery inside the Tribunal.

The room is a circular room. They have one desk where Katniss now sits down. Behind her is a barrier that separates her from a row of chairs. In front of her is an elevator platform with thirteen chairs in front of circular desk. A woman sits in front of the elevated platform with a sort of computer in front of her.

A lone soldier enters the room and stands in the middle.

"The hearing of Soldier Katniss Everdeen will now begin," he says. "Please stand for the Council of the New Capitol."

The door opens and twelve people walk in. A mixture of old, and young, women and men all represented in the council. They sit all around the chairs. There are fourteen chairs, from what I can guess is thirteen districts and one president.

District Twelve's chair sit empty as the rest of the council sits in their respected chairs. They all speak their names for the record that is being recorded by the woman in the front with the computer.

President Paylor enters at the end and sits in the chair listed as 'Capitol.' She approaches the microphone in front of her.

"Welcome council of the Republic of Panem." She says. "The reason behind today's hearing is to come to resolution the fate of Soldier Katniss Everdeen. Upon the request of her doctor, Doctor Thomas Aurellis, she was held in house arrest in District Twelve pending the completion of her treatment. Seeing how the allotted time has now passed, we have gathered to continue the hearing. Soldier please bring in Doctor Aurellis."

The soldier stands salutes and walks out.

"The Council now recognizes Head of Neurological studies of the New Capitol, Doctor Thomas Aurellis." The soldier says.

Doctor Aurellis enters into the Tribunal and takes a seat in a chair that has been assigned.

"Doctor, you have been come here to enter into record the progress of Soldier Everdeen." President Paylor says.

He takes out a folder from his briefcase. Opening the folder he moves some papers and finally comes to the microphone.

"President Paylor, and esteemed Councilmen and women of the Tribunal, the present condition of Soldier Everdeen are one of great progress. Does she still exhibit damage from the war? There are still issues that we are currently working on. The question on whether or not she is ready to stand trial for her crimes is one that I have discussed in previous hearings." He says.

"Doctor, we have made your numerous objections to this hearing, however in the justice of closing this issue of the assassination of then President Coin is something that has to occur. Do you not believe this to be so?" President Paylor says.

"We all can agree that a crime has occurred and yes I believe that a conclusion is necessary." He says.

"So we are in agreement then, this hearing will continue." President Paylor says. "Districts you have the floor."

"The Council recognizes District Two."

"Soldier Everdeen, good afternoon, we have some questions that we would like clarification on," District Two says.

"Okay," Katniss says determined in her response.

"The agreement for immunity that you had with then District Thirteen and then President Coin, what was the reasoning behind it?" District Two says.

"The reason?" She repeats. "Well the reason was because I felt that none of the Victors deserved punishment for what they may do, because they were victims of the Capitol."

"Do you consider yourself a Victor?" District Two asks. "I mean you did win the 74th Hunger Games, did you not."

"Yes, I did." She says.

"So by your reasoning, since you are a Victor do you then fall under the same immunity that you place in the agreement?" District Two asks. "If this is the case then why are we here? Could it be that you did not list yourself as a Victor under the agreement. Let me see."

The agreement is placed on a projection screen.

"Peeta Mellark, Johanna Mason, Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta, and even Enobaria. There is no mention of a Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy or even Beetee. So the three of you were not victims of the Capitol, so therefore Doctor Aurellis statement is not correct." District Two continues.

"The agreement wasn't..." she starts.

"Isn't it true Soldier Everdeen that this agreement was done because you did not want to participate in the war at all? You did not want to be the 'Mockingjay' did you?" District Two says.

"That is correct," she says.

"So you would like us to find that a non-patriotic person, who was not a victim of the Capitol according to your words, to now fall into the agreement of immunity." District Two says.

"I never said that," she responds.

"Well your Doctor sure has. That is why we are here. The argument that was made was that you should fall under this immunity agreement by some loophole that you are a Victor and therefore covered." District Two says.

It is a trick. They are using an end around.

"I never spoke to Doctor Aurellis about this." She says.

"So, you never spoke to your Doctor, when he was making claims that you did?" District two says.

"No, you didn't let me finish," Katniss says. "We spoke on many things that are protected under doctor/patient privilege. Due to this, I cannot discuss what we did or did not speak about. One thing is clear; we did not speak on this immunity agreement."

We always knew that the Career districts would always have it in for Katniss. They are the ones who believed that she shouldn't have survived the Games to begin with. They are upset about the rule change that should have never have happened and if it did, the Gamemakers should have killed her on the spot when she took out the berries.

"Time," President Paylor says.

"Thank you Soldier Everdeen, your responses were most informative," District Two says.

"The Council recognizes District Five," the soldier says.

"Good day, my question is short." District Five says.

"Were you on the side of the Rebels?" District Five asks.

"Yes," she says almost immediately.

"Is that why you did all the propos? Went to District Eight to meet with the children of the war?" He says. "Was it because you were on the side of the rebels?"

"Honestly, those were the ideas of Plutarch," she says.

"So if you had a choice, you wouldn't have gone to District Eight or even shot the propos?" District Five asks.

"I didn't know what they wanted from me. I was only doing what I was asked." She says. "We had to defend the hospital from the attack by the Capitol. That wasn't planned, and it wasn't something that they wanted me to do. It was something that I felt I needed to do. If not they would have died,"

"Thank you, President Paylor that is the only question I have for Soldier Everdeen." District Five says.

"Soldier Everdeen do you need a minute," President Paylor asks.

"No, I am fine," she says.

"The Council recognizes District Thirteen," the soldier says.

"Soldier Everdeen, the only clarification I wish to ask, is in regards to the 74th Hunger Games," District Thirteen begins.

"Objection, there is no relevance of the Hunger Games with the hearing," District Two arises.

"President Paylor, this would go to motive and isn't that the real reason we are here? To find out why Soldier Everdeen assassinated President Coin?" District Thirteen responds.

"Objection has been overruled. The question stands. You may continue to ask your question." President Paylor says.

"Thank you." District Thirteen says. "The clarification is why did you volunteer for your sister Primrose Everdeen?"

"Why?" She says. "Well because she I was called to protect her after my father had died. She deserved a full life."

"Information was brought to this council, where then President Coin wished to established the 76th Hunger Games, is this information correct?" District Thirteen.

"Objection, this has not yet been proven," District Two states.

"President Paylor, I have three sworn statements, from people not only in the room when President Coin brought this up, but also have paperwork where this was placed into an agenda to be announced." District Thirteen says.

I wonder who the three statements came from. It had to be three Victors, Beetee, Annie and someone else. Someone must have changed their mind. It couldn't have been Katniss; because she would have told me and they would have said it. It only leaves, Johanna, Enobaria, and Haymitch. Enobaria wouldn't have disclosed her involvement. So that would leave only Johanna and Haymitch.

"We will allow this new information into this hearing to establish only that it occurred and not the validity of it." President Paylor says.

"So Katniss, did a meeting occur where President Coin let a group of Victors know of a 76th Hunger Games?" District Thirteen asks.

"Yes," She says.

"The stipulations of the Games were that the children of the Capitol officials would be used. Is this what was mentioned in the meeting?" District Thirteen asks.

"Yes," she says.

"Does the same philosophy of children who had no fault of who their parents were, deserved the same full life that you proposed?" District Thirteen asks.

It is the same argument that I made to her that day. It was the same statements, the same pleading that I did with everyone in the room. Could it be that she only said yes to it, because she wanted to have President Coin place her defenses down?

"I suppose," she says.

"Does it stand to reason that you were only protecting the children of the Capitol, by keeping this 76th Hunger Games from occurring?" District Thirteen asks.

She looks down at the ground. There is a moment of silence.

"Do you need a moment, Soldier Everdeen?" President Paylor asks.

"No, I don't need a moment, it is a hard thing to admit, but it would be what Prim would have wanted. That no one else dies for any reason. Death because of revenge should never happen." She says.

This is a question I never asked her, why she voted the way she did. It wasn't my place to question it. I had hoped that with the death of President Coin that the whole idea would be dead as well.

"Time," President Paylor says. "We will take an hour recess for dinner and come back to finish with one more District."

The council files out and then finally a guard comes and escorts Katniss. I move quickly out of the gallery, and downstairs. They are in front of me by the time I fly down the stairs. Finally reaching her, she turns and with the look of worry in her eyes reaches out for me.

I stretch out my hand and finally we are back together. It is the only way that I can let her know that everything will be okay. We walk side by side to the room that had been designated for meals. Walking inside the room they close the door behind us. There is a table and a couple of chairs around it.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Don't know, honestly I don't know how I am." She says.

"Well from what I can see, you have most of the District Council behind you, with the exceptions of the Career district." I say.

"You really think so?" She says.

I hold her in my arms and she lets out the emotion that she was holding in. It is difficult not to break down when they bring up painful memories of the lost of her sister.

"I am sorry that you have to go through this." I say. "I know it cannot be easy."

"I don't know whether to be angry, or upset, the things that they were insinuating." She says.

Holding her, trying to comfort her, it is the only thing that I am supposed to be here for, to tell her that it will be okay.

"Katniss it is almost over," I say. "When this is all over, I promise you that we will never step foot here in this place again, unless you want to."

The door opens and I see both Haymitch and Effie walk in. Katniss straightens up and clears her throat.

"Sweetheart, it is going better than expected. You are definitely handling yourself much better than anticipated." Haymitch says.

"Oh definitely, you have maintained poise and composure. It is something that is noticeable." Effie also says.

The thought that the council is actually noticing her poise and composure almost causes me to laugh, but I know that she means well.

"You were one of the ones who sent the sworn statements, weren't you?" Katniss asks Haymitch.

"Isn't that what a mentor should do?" He says.

"You could give me a warning next time." Katniss says.

"It was a split moment decision, no time to prep you on what I was planning. You handled it great, like I know you would." He says.

"How did you know?" She says. "That my decision in the room was only to get…"

Haymitch stops her, and lifts a finger to his ear. It is letting us know that although there is no one in the room, there might be the possibility of someone overhearing our conversations.

We both nod our heads in agreement.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Always be on your guard. It was something that we were taught as Tributes for the Hunger Games. Haymitch Abernathy although he is a mean old drunk, he knows the ins and outs of the Capitol and the Hunger Games. I don't know if being paranoid is a good thing or a bad thing but in this instance in the Capitol it definitely is something to keep in mind.

We eat in silence, the thought that someone could be listening, it is the very thought that we could never even have a moment to have peace. To keep her mind off this, we talk about happier times.

"Remember that time in District Four, how hot it was?" I say.

"Don't remind me, I remember that we had to move the beds to the windows so that we can get the air from outside." Katniss says.

"Well they had those power outages and that was the only way to get any comfort." I say.

"Thank you," she says. "For keeping my mind off of things, it is hard to keep yourself from focusing on the negative."

"Well remember we could have focused on the heat, or focus on what we did to find some sort of relief." I say.

There is a knock on the door.

"Five minutes." Soldier says.

"Come here, I want to tell you something." I say.

She stands and walks next to me.

"There was something that you told me when I felt that I wasn't going to make it. It was what finally allowed me to come out of the darkness." I say.

"What was it?" She says, wishing to know what the turning point was for me.

"It was in the tunnels; honestly I didn't think that I would be able to control myself. The things that I was hearing and seeing it was keeping me from regaining control. Just when I thought I was going to lose you it."

I grab her wrist and looked straight into her eyes.

"You grabbed my wrist look me straight in the eyes and you told me 'don't let him take you from me.'" I finish saying. "Katniss don't let them take you from me. Stay with me."

She nods.

"Always." She finishes.

The door opens and the guard takes her again to the hearing. Walking slowly this time to the viewing gallery, the emotions are very draining and I can only imagine what she must be going through.

"The Council recognizes District Four," the soldier says.

"Good afternoon everyone, I promise that this will be short." District Four says. "Soldier Everdeen, if you can follow me to the events that happened when you approached the street for another propos. Do you remember the event in question?"

"Yes, we lost a lot of good people that day," she says.

"Yes, we all did. The question is simple. What was the mission for that day?" District Four asks.

"The mission was to go activate a pod, and take it out, get on film." She says.

"The mission was not followed to specification and therefore there were casualties. Correct?" District Four asks.

"That is correct, we lost Boggs, Mitchell, and Homes," she says somberly.

"With so many causalities, what is the proper protocol when the commanding officer is lost?" District Four says.

If I remember correctly when a commanding officer is lost, we are to proceed to the nearest rendezvous point and await further instructions. The next in command would assume point until base issues the response for a new mission.

"Commander Boggs had transferred the Holo to me before he died; the mission had changed to the secondary which was the assassination of President Snow." She says.

"Soldier, there are no records of a secondary mission from Commander Boggs. Nothing was filed with Central Command. You mean to tell me, that you were the only one that knew of a secondary mission?" District Four asks.

"Look what do you want from me," she says raising her voice. "They are all dead. Do you think that I don't know that?"

"Soldier my point. Is that you went rouge, and endangered your entire unit. You did not follow protocol, so why should we believe that you were following protocol when killed President Coin." District Four says.

"We did what we had to do," she says. "There was no time to think and to process and retreat, we tried that and we were cut off. The only recourse we had was to move forward."

"With an unauthorized secondary mission that no one knew about?" District Four says.

"They haunt me every night, is that what you want to hear from me?" She says. "There is not a single day that goes by, when I do not think about the lost of Boggs, the only one who believed in me. The lost of Mitchell, Homes, Jackson, both Leeg sisters, it hurts me every day. You think you can punish me by killing me? I am suffering every day, killing me would only bring me freedom of it." She says. "You tell me Councilman from District Four, how can I face Annie Cresta, and her son, and tell her that I am the reason why she doesn't have her husband and he doesn't have his father? You must know them, seeing how you are from their District."

There is a silence that cuts through the tension. It is not the sort of thing that you should be saying when you are looking for leniency. It has never been Katniss's strong suit to act like the helpless girl, when she believes in something so strongly. She shot an arrow through a pig's mouth because they wouldn't pay attention to her. She hung Seneca Crane to prove the point that not even the Gamemakers were above the reach of the Capitol. Now she has confronted the person who holds her life their hands.

"There is nothing worse than believing that freedom's price is a life of someone." She says. "Someone near to my heart told me that once. It is that very thought that I hope one day to be worthy to stand with him."

Her voice cracks as she slams her hand on the table. The tears flow without any hesitation.

Will not forget that day, when I told her that. Back then she didn't realize that although yes we strive for freedom, it should never be okay to take a life for it. There is no such thing as collateral damage, taking a life or losing a life is still a life.

"Time," President Paylor says with some hesitation. I look up and even she, in her strong demeanor has to wipe a tear from her eyes.

"This concludes this hearing; we will be deliberating tomorrow. Your mentor has requested that you be confined in the same area where you stayed before the Games. We have granted this requested. As well as your party will be able to join you in the same location. Tomorrow we will reconvene at eight in the morning." President Paylor says.

The council files out and then the soldier arrives and escorts Katniss outside. I don't know whether to be happy that she will always stick to her principles or to be saddened by the fact that she might not win any sympathy from the other Districts.

Walking downstairs I see her and opening my arms she runs into them.

"It is okay, you did okay," I say.

"Liar," she says. "I couldn't help it, they were making it seem like the death of all those around me matter nothing to me."

"I know, I know," I say. "You wouldn't be the girl that I fell for, if you weren't so determined to stand for others."

She grabs my hand tightly. I can feel the warmth coming from her hands; she is either extremely upset or worried. I just massage her palm and tell her over and over that it will be okay. I can feel that she is still affected by what happened when we lost Boggs.

"So I am near your heart huh?" I say.

She looks at me and can't help but to smile.

"Would love for you to tell me these things and not have to hear it in a public forum. Also you like to take my lines huh?" I say.

"Quiet, consider it a compliment" she says playfully. "But seriously, you always know what to say, when I need it."

"Please follow us; the vehicles are waiting in the secure exit." A soldier says.

We follow quickly the soldiers, and finally down an elevator to a parking structure that is underneath the Justice Building. They move us quickly into the vehicle and we are off. The main car turns onto the block and goes left, while we go right. The car behind us which is where Haymitch and Effie is in, goes straight ahead.

"Decoy is out; ETA for the Training Center will be five minutes." The driver says.

All this extra security really doesn't put either of us at ease. Are there really people in the Capitol that would want to do us harm? For what reason could someone be upset? The only thing that I could think of is a lost of a love one due to the rebellion, like what happened to me.

She is there looking out of the window, watching the streets go blurred from the speed that we are going through. Good thing is that we are nowhere near the President's Mansion.

"Hey," I say softly.

She turns from the window. I grab her chin with my hand and lead her lips to mines. We kiss for a couple of seconds, letting the outside world just dissolve away, time just has no bearing here, is this what he meant, when he said that it would be the sign that I would know? A bump jolts us out of the moment, and I just smile.

"Sorry, have been wanting to do that all day today," I say.

"It is okay," she says. "I wish we were home instead of here."

"We will be tomorrow," I say.

The car runs through red blinking lights and finally makes it to the Training Center where it goes to an underground garage. The doors open and attendants on both sides of the vehicle escort us to the elevators.

"The other cars?" I ask while walking.

"They took another route, and will be coming here in a couple of minutes." The driver says.

Arriving to the elevator, the doors open and the button twelve is already pressed. I am guessing that we cannot explore the other floors. It doesn't really matter, all that does is that I am with her and if we were in a cell in prison as long as I with here then I am happy.

Getting into the elevator seems to bring some memories because I find myself holding onto the railing.

I can hear humming next to me it calms my nerves.

"Guess I cannot take elevator anymore," I say chuckling.

"Well you are probably remembering when I knocked you into the vase and you needed to get stitches on your hand." She says. "Sorry again about that."

"Well I did just tell everyone in all of Panem that I had a thing for you," I say. "I was truthfully expecting worst."

Getting upstairs, we find that no one has really been here since we were last here.

"Can I stay in your room?" Katniss asks.

"Of course," I say.

"They kept me here after, um, you know for days." She says.

"They kept me downstairs on the eleventh floor." I say.

"Why did they hold you here?" She asks.

"They thought since I stopped you, that I was part of the plan." I say.

"Sorry," she says.

"It is okay, I didn't mind as long as I was close to you. I did try to go upstairs but was stopped by the guards." I say. "Come, you must be tired."

Walking into the room, we find that the basic amenities have been offered. No clothes or shoes in the closets, and the bed only have the basics. The room looks now like any other room, if it was special to me back then, it is just a normal room now. The only thing that makes it different is the fact that next to me stands a woman that I have wanted to get to know, and now I can.

"What?" she says.

"Oh, I am sorry; I didn't mean to stare, just thinking about how lucky I am." I say.

She bumps into me playfully.

"Stop," she says.

"This is the truth, I mean I walk into this room and well it is just a room, but when I look at whose hand I am holding, I can't help but feel lucky. We have been through it all, and I can say that this time, I am glad to be here with you."

"Well let's go upstairs to our little spot." She says.

It still makes her uncomfortable, to talk to her about these things. She always seems to change the subject.

We grab a blanket and walk upstairs. Finally getting outside, we can feel ourselves again. It was a complete transformation. It helps that they hadn't taken the wind chimes on the trees. The garden hadn't been tended to so wild flowers have grown through the concrete pavers.

I lay down the blanket and I help her on the ground.

At first we just lie there not really talking much but just looking at each other hands. We look at them, intertwined within each other.

"Are you happy?" I ask.

"Yes," she says. "How about you?"

"Very," I say. "These are the best moments in my life."

You can't really hear the street below, but you know that everything in life is moving forward with or without us. I don't think that if she wasn't here with me that my life would move forward.

I can still remember that day. We spent the whole day just sitting here talking about life, a life that we could spend together. It was easy because we knew that the next day we would go into the Quarter Quell and more than likely die there. The thought of a life afterwards was just for some comfort.

This time around it is the same. Although we know that although it may never happen for either of us, it is okay just to be here. It would be nice, to hope that one day we could have that little house by the lake, to get married one day, and probably even start a family.

Would that be something that could ever happen for either of us?

"The stars are out. I always did love the stars here. Near the mountains there are always more stars, I could never know why." I say. "Little windows."

"Little windows?" she asks.

"Something my father told me. It was right after a little old man died who was helping us in the store. I think I might have been eight or so." I say. "Well it was the first time that I actually had someone die that I knew. My father came to see me that night because I was sitting out by the old tree behind our house."

I lift up my hand like my father did that night.

"You see that star right up there?" He said to me. "Well stars are only windows, the bright light that someone forgot to turn off. It is the little room where the old man went to. He just forgot to turn off the light."

She smiles at me, and all I can think of, is that I have to admit it.

"I know. I am weird," I say.

She laughs and says that the relationship I had with my father was sweet and very personal.

"It was like you were in a whole other world with him," she says. "It makes you this sweet boy that I still cannot believe is real."

Smiling at what she said, I think that there could be nothing more perfect than this moment.

"You know that when I am with you, it is like we are in our own little world. We could have everything around us going wrong, but when we are here, talking, it is like nothing matters." I say.

"I think so too," she says. "So windows huh? Who do you think forgot to turn off the lights?"

Looking up and pointing the brightest ones.

"That one right there, I know is my father," I say. "It helps me to know that he is up there looking at me, telling me that he is okay."

"Do you think my…." she says. "sister has one?"

Looking at her, it is hard for her to be so vulnerable, to let her guard down. I know that this is very difficult.

"I am sure of it." I say grabbing her hand and moving it to a certain space in the sky. "It is that one; you see it is a sort of shade of red, so I think it is pink, and only Primrose would have a pink light."

"I think so," she says. "It is a very pretty star, is it always there?"

"Whenever I would look up, it would be right there." I say.

She looks at me and just nuzzle in my chest.

"Thank you for being here with me," she says.

"There is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you." I say. "You know that right?"

I look down and see that she has gone to sleep; more than likely exhausted from everything that has happened today. Just yesterday we spent the day in her house just talking and being in the moment. Funny how in a day how things can change and yet how they can remain the same. It is difficult to finally get through but I hope that one day I could.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Watching the night sky on the roof of the Training Center brings a sort of cathartic end to my time in the Capitol. I truly believe in my heart and tonight would be the very last time that I would choose to be in the Capitol.

A place that has taken so much away from me has both happy memories and memories that I wish I could just forget. It has been a roller coaster, mostly good days with Katniss, and yet there are days when she retreats back into her secret place where no one is allowed, Gale has that affect on her.

I feel her start to shiver, from the cool mountain air. I grab the edges of the blanket and cocoon ourselves in the warmth of the blanket. Although tomorrow things will change, it is something that has to happen. After a little bit my eyes start to close and the last thing that I can remember is seeing a shooting star, flying across the sky.

There are no dreams, there are no nightmares, and there is only darkness that surrounds my thoughts. It is a fear of losing her that drives my thoughts tonight. If I don't lose her to the Capitol, then I will lose her to Gale. What do you do then? Can't feel sorry for yourself, I tell myself. If that were to happen, then you just have to move on. I just don't see how it will happen.

My eyes slowly open and I can see that the sun is about to rise. The grey buildings peek through the sky. Looking down I see that she hasn't moved at all. She has both her hands on my chest and her head rest on top of them. I feel her leg crossed over mine obviously seeking warmth from the cool wind. There are no birds here in the Capitol and if they are, I haven't seen them travel up this high.

Feeling her start to move just a little, I realize that soon enough we would have to get ready and get to the Justice Building. Today will start and with no real idea of how it would end.

I see her eyes begin to open.

"Morning," I say.

She stretches and lets out a little sigh of relief.

"Morning," she says. "I am sorry I feel asleep."

"That is okay, I could tell that you were exhausted." I say. "I didn't want to wake you so I just covered us with the blanket, hope that was okay."

She nods and says, "can we just stay up here? Do they really need me to be present to condemn me?"

"Don't say that, for all we know, you will be set free and on the first train back to District Twelve." I say.

"Yeah," she starts. "District Twelve."

There is a moment and I know that she wants to tell me something.

"Peeta?" she says.

"Hmm?" I say.

"If it did go that way and for some miracle they set me free, I don't know if I would go back to District Twelve," she says.

"Oh," I say.

It is that comment and I know that although she told me the gist of what Gale had talked to her, she never told me what she told him, or what she was planning.

"Well, I don't think that they would put a travel restriction to you, if you wanted to relocate to another District. I hear District Four is beautiful or even District Two." I say, knowing full well that her mother is in Four and Gale is in Two.

'…I guess its Katniss's problem. Who to choose.' Gale says yawning. 'We should get some sleep.'

'Yeah.' I say. 'I wonder how she'll make up her mind.'

'Oh, that I do know. Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without.' Gale says.

She looks at me, with fire in her eyes, upset by the implications of what I was saying. She knew why I mentioned District Two, she knew that it was because I already had concluded on what really happened in the room yesterday.

"Probably neither, and I just go out into the wild," she says.

"That too." I say. "Come on let's go downstairs, we have to get ready."

"Don't you want to see the sunrise?" she asks.

"Seen it already," I say. Starting to stand up. I feel her hand grab mine.

"Peeta," she says. "I am sorry, it is…"

"Katniss, you don't have to explain really. I know that inside you are having to wage your own war and whatever happens, where ever you end up going, I will be okay with the time I had with you." I say.

I feel her hand slowly release and walking away I wipe a tear from my face. One foot in front of the other Peeta, if you stop, if you turn back, you will break down and then it wouldn't help her at all.

Making my way to the door, I see the shaking of my hand, but make my way down to my room grabbing my bag and going into the bathroom to take a shower. Placing my head on the shower wall, all I can do is fist the wall softly.

Changing in the bathroom, I walk out and find here there in the room still covered by the blanket.

"Can we talk about this?" She asks.

Looking down I run my hand through my hair and lift my head to see her.

After taking a deep breath and looking at her.

"Okay," I say.

I find the edge of the bed and just sit there. I see her rubbing her fingers, and start to pace back and forth.

"Peeta, it is really difficult for me," she starts. "This whole situation,…"

She walks over to the window.

"I know it isn't fair to you. It is that I don't know what to do."

All the sentences stop right as she is about to get emotional. They are all cut into pieces, but I understand her. She walks over to me and sits on the edge next to me.

"I don't want to lose you," she says, grabbing my hand.

"It may not even matter." She says. "I may not even live to see tomorrow. Then all this would be for nothing."

"Katniss, listen, I know that it is difficult for you to let someone in." I say. "I knew this from the moment your father died. Gale has always been there for you growing up. He was your friend, and now that he says that he has feelings for you, it is natural to want to be with your best friend."

"Yes, but, it is more.." she starts and then stops.

"Today's hearing will come back and you will be set free and I will be happy that you would finally have a chance to live your life in happiness with whoever can make you happy. It is truly okay Katniss, I will still be here for you." I say.

Standing up I walk outside and as the door slides close I can feel my heart begin to break. I am the fool that Haymitch says, the one who will always put her above me. The sitting room, I find Haymitch and Effie.

"Trouble in paradise?" Haymitch asks.

I say nothing but just sit down on the sofa and wait for her to get ready so that we can go. What I wouldn't get to knock that smug expression from his face. Looking down instead I see that my hands haven't stop shaking. I stand and place them in my pocket.

Walking towards the elevator, I hear the footsteps behind me and I see them all ready to go. We get into the elevator and escorted to the underground parking garage. Getting into the car, I sit next to her and she looks at me.

"It is okay," I say.

The gate opens and the driver drives out first this time. Going straight and the other two cars go to different locations.

"Decoys have been deployed. ETA for Justice Building fifteen minutes." The drive says.

From the time difference, I am guessing we are taking a long way around to the Justice Building. The crowds are more visible now, and they are many people. Cameras and photographers, people in the buildings across from the Justice building. There is a stage in the front steps of the Justice Building. Moving around we go towards the garage and finally go underneath.

"Feels like the old Capitol, with the cameras, guessing Plutarch wanted to have some sort of event." I say.

She looks at me, right as the soldier is about to open the door. She leans in to my ear and whispers.

"Promise?" she says.

"You know I would never leave you," I say.

We step outside the door and are moved to the secured elevator. Once there they take us upstairs to the lobby area and then through the wooden doors to the hearing room. They allowed me to come inside the room but stay in the chairs behind the barrier. Sitting down I see the intimidation of the room. High ceilings, a bench that is elevated at least twice as high as where Katniss is sitting. All the council people looking down at you, with the President in a higher location in the center. The big clock on the top says that it is almost Eight.

Just then the door opens and the same woman from yesterday comes in with her computer and sits in front of the elevator bench. The soldier who would call out the introductions come in and I know that it is about to begin. I wish I could be there for her, sit next to her.

Looking up to where I was sitting, I see him sitting down. In the viewing gallery sits Gale Hawthrone, his serious demeanor staring straight at her. He isn't a bad guy, I actually kind of like him. He would never leave her that is one thing that I know for a fact. He would make a great father.

"The hearing of Soldier Katniss Everdeen will come to order. Please rise for the council of the New Capitol."

Both of us rise and we see the council file in one by one. They take their seats and finally we take ours.

"Soldier Peeta Mellark, welcome to the hearing." President Paylor says.

"Thank you, Madam President," I say standing.

"Before we read the verdict, Soldier Everdeen, I want to extend our thanks here in the New Capitol for being patient with us as we are still in the process of formulating this new government that is for the people and by the people of Panem. This is in part to your hard work as an inspiration to both the military in District Thirteen and people around Panem during uprising. We all can agree here in the council that your efforts will not go unnoticed."

There is a pause at this time. I look around and see cameras that were once dormant a red light has been turned on. This is the moment that everything rides on.

"The verdict for this hearing was not taken lightly and done with no regard to your responses yesterday. We believe that you have exhibited true attributes of a military soldier. This hearing however is a tricky situation where a crime was committed and a criminal was not taken into custody. President Alma Coin was discovered to be acting against the best wishes of the Rebellion with the introduction of the idea of the 76th Hunger Games, and therefore it is the opinion of this tribunal that President Alma Coin was an enemy. The executions of an enemy during times of war are left to the high ranking officials of District Thirteen. Seeing how the enemy was the President herself, we believe that you acted in the best interest of the Rebellion and therefore find you not guilty of the crime. Mockingjay, you are free to go with our thanks and our apology."

They all stand at this moment, and without saying a word place three fingers to their mouths and salute here there. It is the symbol of thanks to her who has sacrifice so much and has gotten little in return.

Katniss falls to her feet and cover her face with her hands, obviously overcome with emotion.

"A public apology has been scheduled and will be done after this hearing has concluded in the front steps of the Justice Building." President Paylor says.

Walking up to Katniss she stands and embraces me crying. She starts to shake and I hold her tighter. She is safe; she is never going to be harm again. I am happy that this nightmare for her is finally over. That she can finally be happy.

Happy; it is such a foreign concept right now to me, as I don't know where I stand. Am I just someone to hold her because I am here, or did she look for me?

We don't even notice that the Council had filed out and it is just us in the hearing room.

"You are free, Katniss," I say. "You are free. Let's get this over with and get you to the next chapter of your life."

Walking out to the atrium, Haymitch and Effie are there congratulating her. It seems like a joyous occasion to be involve with. Who would have thought that they would consider President Coin an enemy of the state, because of her actions with the 76th Hunger Games?

At the center of the whole rebellion, was the criminal act of killing innocent children through the Hunger Games for control over the Districts. President Coin decided that the children of the Capitol were already guilty and therefore killing them was justified. She mentioned that it was to satisfy the suffering in the Districts.

Walking out there is a huge crowd already waiting for us. It seems that the verdict was read live to all of the Panem. There are many who are cheering for the release of the Mockingjay. Many soldiers have to keep them back off the steps of the Justice Building where the stage has been waiting.

What if they would have found her guilty, would President Paylor escort her outside and announce the verdict to all of Panem?

Everything has now become real. Her mood is quiet and not really smiling all that much. Where we were holding hands and not caring of the world around us, now it is just me and here separately sitting next to each other on the stage.

Haymitch sits to the left of me, and Katniss there on the right. An attendant comes and lets Katniss know that she would be expected to address Panem. Nothing fancy they mention just a thank you, and acknowledgement of the people, that it is time to heal.

President Paylor comes out and speaks on the hearing and how although the actual nature and responses of the council are subject to a non-disclosure agreement, the verdict was read on live television so that the whole country of Panem can now more forward and heal together. She turns and asks for a couple of words from Katniss.

Unsure at first on what she would say, she stands and begins to walk. This moment I look down to the ground and find that my life will change after this speech and that everything will change tomorrow. Everything slows down, and I feel the shaking in my hands.

I close my eyes and without warning I see it again. My breathing begins to quicken. No, it cannot be happening now, especially not here. Peeta, you have to control it. Don't think about it. Think about something else.

The alarms quickly bring my mind to focus and I see that there are bombs exploding over head. I look around but find that I am in the streets of the Capitol. I see people rushing by and in the distance I see a child running for her mother. Wait a minute there is no child. In a second I look up and see someone, a soldier, take aim in the distance across the street.

I look up and in the sunlight I see a sparkle across the street up to the left on the roof. I stand and remember my training in District Thirteen.

'When you see the sparkle in sunlight, nine times out of ten, the sparkle will be one of a scope of a sniper rifle. A good sniper would hide this fact, but if you catch the sparkle you take cover.' My military trainer tells me.

Instincts kick in and I am running towards the podium where Katniss is about to speak. Will I make it?

"Gun!" I yell.

Katniss turns to me, as I am pushing out of the way. I feel my chest and it is warm to the touch. Falling to the ground, I start to hear the yelling, and people running around. Touching my chest I look at my hand and find that blood now covers my hand.

I think I have been shot. I feel woozy and my head feels funny. It is like all my strength has been taken in a single moment.

"Peeta!" I hear her shout. I feel her pick up my head. "Peeta, Peeta, you are going to be okay."

I feel her hand on my chest and she pressing in. She turns her head and screams out.

"I need a medic!"

"On the roof, take cover!" I hear someone yell. "Get those snipers off the roof!"

"Get her inside!" Haymitch yells out.

Everything is starting to turn dark.

"Peeta, stay with me, don't close your eyes. Stay awake," she says shaking me.

"It is okay," I say. "I am fine. Don't worry about me, as long as you are okay."

"Why!" she yells at me.

"This is what we do, we protect each other." I say. "It is what I will always do."

"You promised me!" she yells at me. "You promised!"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Promises; they are something that I have always wondered about. You promise your parents that you would be good in school and yet you never know the circumstances that you will be faced that day. How can you really promise them that anyways?

Slipping in and out of conscience all I can remember is Katniss crying and telling me that I had promised her. It was a couple of days ago when we had found out that Katniss needed to come back to the Capitol that she was wondering if I would leave her.

'I won't leave you,' I say.

She turns and looks at me.

'Promise?' she says.

'As long as you want me here, I won't ever leave you.' I say.

It is exactly the same thing as promising your parents to be good, how could you know the circumstances what is to follow. Who would have known that Gale would have come back into the picture? That she would have been thinking about a life with him.

That is the greatest thing though that she doesn't need me here to be here with her. She finally has him, and in that thought, I can find enough peace to let go.

"He is crashing!" I hear in the distance.

I see pictures of her; it flashes in my mind, the little chasing the yellow butterfly, singing the valley song, walking hand in hand with her little sister to school every day. Showing her the display cakes of the bakery and telling her that one day she would buy her one. Seeing here sitting in the tree in the yard hearing the wind chimes in the afternoon, and the race, the big race where she ran and won against the other age groups.

The wind chimes play music through the wind, and the one memory that I hold onto to replays.

'I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever,' I say.

'Okay,' she says.

I look down at her, wondering if I had heard right.

'Then you'll allow it?' I ask.

'I'll allow it,' she says.

Living in this moment until my body gives out. This is how I want to go. This was the one moment where I found true happiness.

"Peeta," I hear.

"Miss, you have to let us work!" I hear a man.

"Don't you leave me alone here," she says. "Don't you let them take you away from me."

Why would she still want me? Is this real, or am I just hoping and dreaming that it she wants me. She is free, she can go where ever she wants any District, she could be with whomever she wants, and she can finally be with Gale. It would be easier if I wasn't here anymore, so that I didn't cause her so much confusion.

I hear a commotion in what I believe is the ambulance.

"Miss, please you need to let us work," a man says. "Charge paddles…ready…clear…"

"We have a rhythm, it is faint, but we have him back." He says.

That is it that is all I hear as everything shuts down.

Don't you leave me alone here. The words echo in my mind; would be a dream if that were true, if she actually wanted me to stay with her. The flashes in my mind begin and I know from my many instances of near death that I am about to wake up.

I can hear the familiar beeping sounds of my heart rate monitor. The fuzziness of the lights is a sight that I am not dead just yet. I feel someone's hand grasping mines. Turning my head I see her in a chair to my right.

Can feel the difficulty breathing and know that I might have broken a couple of ribs. The funniest thing is that being tortured and I know if I have a broken rib, or a broken bone.

Rubbing her palm, I see that her eyes open and turn to meet mines.

"Too bad I didn't have a mockingjay uniform on," I say coughing.

She lets out a small chuckle.

"Why are you so good to me?" She says.

"Well if you don't know by now, you're still not paying attention." I say.

"I am now," she says.

It is the same thing that she told me in the cave back in our Games. That moment was special to me.

"Well, this time around; I do have some competition," I say.

Her eyes tear up and she shakes her head.

"Peeta, you don't have competition anywhere," she says. She leans in and our lips touch lightly. It is the same girl I fell in love with.

I lift my hand up to her chest and feel her heart beat. I smile and finally let out a sigh of relief.

She holds my hand there.

"Is it okay, that I get some rest?" I ask.

She moves the strands of hair away from my face and kisses me on the forehead.

"Of course, is it okay that I stay here?" She asks.

"Yes," I say closing my eyes and going to sleep. Time is relative to only how long my body needed to recuperate, because when I open my eyes again, I have no idea how long I have been sleeping.

She is still there, still holding my hand. Standing in front of her is Doctor Aurellis.

"Hey Doctor," I say.

"Peeta, it is nice to see that you are still with us." He says.

"Think I figured out how to paint the sky in one stroke." I say.

"Really?" He says. "Well you will just have to tell me the secret."

"She is," I say.

She looks at me confused on what we are talking about.

"Well, let's go down the list of things that we have in your medical history. Losing your leg, stab in the thigh, tortured, burned and now shot, do we need to put you in a bubble?" He says.

"So I was shot, honestly I didn't even know." I say.

"Missed your heart by a couple of centimeters, and also missed your spinal cord." He says handing me the bullet.

"Did they catch the sniper?" I ask.

"They did," Katniss answers.

I let out a sigh of relief.

"I didn't think that I made it in time." I say fighting the thought of losing her, causes the emotions to fill my eyes.

"You did," she says.

"Well you need to heal up, so probably a day or so, and then we can discharge you. I also looked at your arm. Katniss tells me that it was wild dogs?" He says.

"Yes, what do you think of the stitch work?" I say.

"Hands of a healer of course," Doctor Aurellis says. "With the way you both get in trouble, I am thinking that you will have to learn how to stitch her up as well."

"No, after today, I think a nice quiet existence is something that we both would enjoy." I say.

"Definitely," she says.

Doctor Aurellis walks out and finally we are alone.

"So," I say. "Not that I would want to open this can of worms, but what changed your mind?"

"Who says it was changed?" she says. "Honestly it was something that I overheard you and Gale talking about back in Tigris's shop."

That night I didn't even know she was awake. It was one of the few times that we actually had a conversation.

"I didn't know you were listening," I say.

"Well I was, and I realized that as I saw you there bleeding, that if I lost you that I couldn't go on without you." She says.

"Was Gale okay with that?" I ask.

She shrugs unsure of if how he took it.

I grab her hand caressing them, letting her know that I am sorry.

"I know that couldn't have been easy for you," I say.

She looks at me and smiles.

"Well, I couldn't leave you, if I had tried." I say. "Who else would bake you bread to eat?"

She smiles and asks me how to bake bread. Find it an interesting topic so I begin to tell her how to. She writes it down, step by step and asks me questions along the way.

"Well now you don't need me to bake your bread, you can do it by yourself," I say.

She laughs at the notion and says that she still needs someone to keep her out of trouble.

"That I can do," I say. "I do have a question though."

"Hmm?" she says.

"When did you have cheese buns as we didn't have them in District Twelve?" I say

"It was on the train when we first got on." She says. "Although I do like yours better than the ones made by the Capitol."

The first day on the train, it feels like it was so long ago. I can still remember it though like it was yesterday. There were a lot of different emotions that I went through that day, knowing full well that I wouldn't be back. It is a little of how I felt earlier this morning, knowing that if she left, that I don't know if I would be able to go back to District Twelve.

We have been through a lot, just thinking about the numerous times that I have woke up here in the Capitol hospital. After losing my leg from the 74th Hunger Games, then the Hospital of District Thirteen, not to mentioned the kitchen table at Katniss's house, and now back to the Capitol Hospital.

A nurse comes and whispers something in Katniss's ear. She smiles and tells her that she will be right there.

"Have to go finish some paperwork; there might be a possibility that we can get you transported to a more private location in the Capitol than here." She says.

"Today?" I say.

"Yes, but let me go check what is the hold up." She says walking out of the room.

After a couple of minutes she comes back in with discharge papers.

"They have prepared a private residence nearby so that you can recover with some privacy. Everyone in the Capitol is looking for an interview with the Savior of the Mockingjay." She says. "Finally for the first time they are not looking for me."

"Oh, how lucky am I?" I say in a mocking tone."

They bring in a wheelchair and with the help of two attendants they place me in the wheelchair. Doctor Aurellis hands me an envelope of the paperwork that I had asked him for.

"What's that?" she asks.

"Some paperwork for the new bakery," I say looking up at her. "Think he would like that?"

She rubs my shoulders.

"Yeah I think he would," she says. "Come let's get out of here."

They wheel me over to an elevator and down to the garage. A van is waiting for us and finally getting in, it feels like I can breathe again. She must have known my love for hospitals and probably the reason why she requested that I be released.

"Thank you," I say to her.

"I knew you wouldn't like being in hospitals, so I called an old friend to get us a house somewhere until tomorrow when the train arrives." She says.

The van drives away from the hospital and out the window I see the crowds of people, with cameras waiting to see me or her come outside.

"How long?" I start to ask.

"A couple of days, the doctors say that the best thing that could have happened was that the bullet went through and didn't stay in the body. It would make the healing a lot easier." She says.

We must have been driving for about thirty to forty minutes because when we finally get to where we are going, it is on the outskirts of the Capitol. There are not town homes, but more houses. There are two attendants waiting for us, with a wheelchair.

They help me onto the chair and wheel me up a ramp on the side of the house. It is a beautiful old house, has a sort of country feeling to it.

"How do you do this all in a couple of days, you said it was an old friend, did I ever meet this old friend?" I say.

"No, it wasn't Gale," she says.

"No, it wasn't," someone says coming out of the front door.

The two attendants stop and there in the doorway of a beautiful old country home in the out skirts of the Capitol, stands a woman who cannot be more than thirty three or thirty four years old, medium length dark hair and dark brown eyes.

"Good afternoon Madam President," I say.

"Katharine please," she says. "Come inside."

Katniss never cease to amaze me. The President of Panem is her old friend? When did they meet? How did she call her?

They bring me into the living room and I can see from the décor that this house is the President's house.

"Katniss, everything you requested has arrived; tomorrow my security detail will take you to the landing pad where a hovercraft will take you to the private station." She says.

"Thank you so much for everything," Katniss says.

"No dear child, we have so much to thank you for," she says. "I will be traveling the Districts to see the damage and the see how the rebuilding is coming along. You two kids stay out of trouble."

Walking out all I can say is thank you and she just nods and walks out the front door. A hovercraft materializes and finally getting inside they take off and just like that, she is gone.

"So old friend huh?" I say.

"She was a Commander back in District Eight when we stop the bombing of the Hospital." She says. "We kept in touch ever since."

"You sure are full of surprises." I say.

"Can you stand?" She asks.

Putting on the brakes on the wheelchair, I place one foot in front and placing my hands on the handles I prop myself up. It takes most of my strength to stand to my feet. She helps me to the kitchen where all the ingredients are there.

"Who is going to bake bread?" I ask.

"I am," she says. "But you are going to teach me."

"Okay," I say smiling.

Looking around I see that all the ingredients are there, flour, yeast, sugar, salt, a little oil and some eggs. Sitting on a stool, I tell her to grab the whisk and crack an egg in the bowl, add yeast and flour, salt and sugar.

She starts to whisk it, and can see her eyes open wide when the dough begins to expands.

"It is okay, it is suppose do that," I say. "Now comes the fun part, beating the crap out of the dough."

She spends a good amount of time kneading the dough and finally when it is consistent. Getting a pan we place the dough in the pans and into the oven.

"Now we hum," I say.

"Hum?" She repeats.

"Yes, my father would tell me to 'hum a song that is four to eight verses long, four for one batch, eight to match.'" I say remembering the words. "Or twenty five minutes, if you don't know a good four minute song to hum."

I start to hum the same song, trying to remember the timing. Katniss however walks over to the timer and twists it to twenty five, and walks over to me.

"You happy?" she asks.

"Very," I say.

She crosses her arms and I can see that she is cold. Looking around I see that this old country house is right in the valley of the mountain that we would see in the distance from the Training Center.

All the windows are opened, but remember how Katniss likes the windows opened, I look for the fireplace. In the far end of the house, I see an old fireplace that seems like it hasn't been used in forever.

Walking over to it, I open up the shunt, and begin to toss in the chopped up wood. Finally get a match I throw it in and can see the fire begin to burn. A fire that begins to rise is a beautiful thing.

I hear a ding and look back to the kitchen. Walking back I see that the bread came out almost like how we would do back in District Twelve.

"Should we try a piece?" she asks.

"Sure," I say grabbing a knife and cutting two small pieces of bread. Seeing how she is still cold, I place the two small pieces on a plate and walk her over to the fire.

We sit right in front of the fireplace. The fire has begun to take a hold of the wood. She places her hands near the fire to get warm.

"It is always hotter when the fire first starts," she says.

"Yes most people think that it is the best time to cook things in the first couple of seconds. Actually it is the worst time, it is an uncontrolled fire." I say speaking out of experience.

"So when is the best time?" She asks.

"Well after the initial burn, the fire if cultivated and air correctly comes to a steady burn. My father would call it the rising fire, because it is like it rising without you even noticing. It cooks perfectly, at that specific moment." I say.

"The Rising Fire…" she repeats. "Sort of like us. The first couple of seconds, it was just all chaos, until we finally came to a perfect moment, don't you think?"

I look at her, and see the smile as sweet as that night on the beach in the Quarter Quell. She grabs the small little piece of bread and looks at it, slowly inspecting it.

"So, now who isn't paying attention?" she says smiling.

Just then it hits me, the fire that we just prepared, bread that we made together.

"Do you mean it?" I ask.

"Who else am I going to get to make me cheese buns?" She says laughing. "But seriously Peeta, I do mean it."

We both grab our little piece of bread and place it in the fire, toast just slightly. She moves her piece to my mouth. I open it and slowly bite down on it. The sensation is nothing like I had expected it. The fire causes the senses to come alive.

Taking my piece I move it to her mouth. She opens her mouth and takes a bite. As she chews she smiles, and I can't help but smile along with her.

She reaches for my hand. I stretch it out to meet hers. Our hands dance together until they come together. In the rising fire in a little house on the outskirts of the Capitol my dream finally came true.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

We just lie there in front of the fire. It was only a couple of hours ago that we performed the toasting ceremony. Could it be that I have been dreaming this moment the whole time? Could I just be in the hospital bed wishing that this was real? I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever.

I lift up my right hand and she comes up to meet it with her left. We each look at each hand just there intertwined. She starts to trace the burn marks on my hands down my arm where the stitches have been cleaned by Doctor Aurellis. She continues to follows the mark to the shoulder and finally to my chest, where I cannot hold it anymore.

"Stop it, I am ticklish," I say laughing.

"Oh really?" She says.

She starts to tickle me and I can help but to beg for mercy. When I see that she is not stopping, I grab the blanket and throw it on top of her head. As she struggles to free herself I have no choice but to tickle her to the ground.

Laughing uncontrollably she finally relents and waves the symbolic white flag. Getting to my feet and slowly backing away I see that she is beginning to stand. She looks like a big white ghost.

"You could be playing possum. Should I take the chance?" I say to her.

She finally gets the blanket off her head and looks at me with those innocent eyes. She stands in front of the fireplace covered from shoulders to ground by a large wool blanket that we had found in the nearby closet earlier that night.

I feel a chill in the air as now that I am away from the fire. Feeling the goose bumps on my arm I look at her rubbing the blanket in a mischievous manner.

"Good thing I had the thought to have some undershorts on." I say laughing. "Not like someone I know."

Her blushing is unmistakable as she realizes that at my feet are the clothes that she was wearing only a couple of hours ago.

"Could you do me a favor?" She says.

"Yes?" I say channeling my best Finnick impersonation. She looks down towards the clothes and points at them.

"Oh, you want these?" I say picking them up.

She nods with a sense of shyness. Walking over to her I stop just out of her arms reach.

"Kiss first," I say.

She curls her mouth as to thinking if she should or not. She looks at me.

"First clothes, then kiss," she says.

I hand them towards her and as she grabs onto them I slowly pull them away. Of course at first she tries to pull them out of my hands, but with her other hand holding up the blanket she is at a slight disadvantage.

As I pull them away she moves in closer until finally my lips are on hers and she is smiling through the kiss as she tugs at the clothes.

Letting go finally, she kisses me even more passionately and her hands drop the clothes again on the ground. With my hands I grab the blanket and wrap her in it. This allows her other hand to let go of the blanket as she wraps her arms around my neck.

The kiss is unlike anything that I have ever experience. The woman of my dreams now in my arms, we have been through so much together and now according to our traditions we have made the vows of marriage. She has seen me at my worst and my best, yet through it all she has stood by me.

"So Mrs. Mellark, what do you want to do?" I ask.

She looks at me and just smiles.

"You know that I like the sound of that," I say.

"You know what? Me too." She says.

We just stand there together holding each other, her in the blanket toga and me in my under shorts. Without her boots, her eyes meet my nose. I love the fact that she has to stand on her tippy toes in order to kiss me. It makes her seem innocent. Anyone who would meet this Katniss would never know that she is a trained hunter and a Hunger Games Victor.

Maybe that is the point, that the things we go through in life doesn't define it is what drives us. Being with her all these years it just drives me to be a better man. It pushes me to be the man that she deserves.

"Sun is about to come up," she says.

"Only a couple more hours and then..." I start. "Wait, where are we going?"

"Always wanted to visit District Four again, but honestly after that I would love to see two things," She says.

"What's that?" I ask.

"I would love to take you to the house on the lake, and see your father's bakery rebuilt," she says.

The things that she wants to do have to do are the things that I have always wanted.

I poke her.

"Hey," she says giggling. "Yes I am real."

"Just making sure," I say. "The things that I have always wanted to do are the things that you want to do, just want to know why."

"Well I want to see the world through your eyes at least once," she says.

"Nothing really to it, all you would see is a boy dreaming about a girl, with one braid," I say.

She bends down and grabs the clothes. Smiling I hold the blanket while she puts on her clothes. She looks up every so often and sees me blushing when she catches me looking.

"Now who is the prude?" She asks.

Can still remember in the stream when she couldn't bear to see me naked so she gave me the plastic to place as a divider, I was dying so I really didn't care if she saw me naked or not. This however is totally different, we are traditionally husband and wife but I had never seen her naked in this role.

"Sorry," I say with a smile.

I grab my shirt and place it over my head. Peeking through the opening I see that she is also watching me. Finally sitting in the sofa, she comes and without any words sit down right next to me, tucks her feet in and lies her head on my chest.

"How about this," I say. "We go to District Four first and then after a couple of days we will go back home?"

She looks up and nods in approval. I feel her nuzzle in and can tell that she is going to try to get some sleep. I place my arm around her shoulder and feel her let out a deep sigh. Looking at her sleep, the soft features, and the fire scars the trace her neck and up the back of her head. She looks just as fragile as a glass vase, but inside there is a hidden fire that consumes everyone around her.

Never did understand why she has this affect on people, but who can understand the mysteries of life? Who can comprehend the complexities of love? I look at her and even now, at this moment, I am left with a feeling of complete wonderment that she would choose someone like me. The shy bakers' boy that wouldn't really talk all that much, always trying to do what the other merchant kids was doing, hiding behind my older brother's shadow.

Probably one day I will understand it, but right now just being ignorantly happy is enough for me. Waiting a couple of minutes, lost in thought I feel my eye lids start to get heavy. I can feel my mind starting to doze off. If my body didn't need sleep to operate, I would be happy staying awake in this dream forever.

I make it a point to not dream but to remember everything about her. The whole time that I am sleeping I think about her on the train for the first time. Remembering her that time she wore that soft yellow dress, simple and yet so beautiful. I would remember that time on the chariot in the opening ceremony and she looked at me, with those grey eyes of passion.

Waking up with her next to me, I smile, because I wasn't dreaming yesterday. I poke her in the ribs.

"Peeta," she says giggling. "How many times do I have to tell you that I am real?"

"Sorry," I say. "Just checking, yesterday felt like it was out of a dream."

"Couple more minutes?" She asks.

I lean in and kiss the top of her head.

"Okay, sleep as long as you want," I say. "What time are they coming to pick us up?"

She shoots up as if she remembered something. Looking around for a clock she sees that the sun is already out and the birds are singing. She stands up, kisses me and runs for the stairs.

"Hey," I say laughing. "It is okay, they can wait."

Getting almost to the top of the stairs she peeks down.

"Umm, can you start to clean up? We will be having visitors soon," she says quickly and continues to run upstairs.

That is when it hits me; we did come to the Capitol with Effie and Haymitch. They must be the people that are coming. I slowly get up and can feel the pressure on my chest. Walking over to the mirror, I see the wound in the middle of my chest. I trace the injury with my finger. Doctor Aurellis gave me a crème to place on the wound; he says it is suppose to speed up the healing process. All I feel it does is smell really like someone threw up. I wonder why the best medicines smell the worst.

Looking down I see the envelope that Doctor Aurellis had given me. I open it and slide out the paperwork, the official deed to the land to the bakery, schedule construction plans for the rebuild, survey papers for the house by the lake, approvals for construction in that area, and finally official marriage documents.

I smile as I looked at the marriage documents. It was before we had gone onto the train that I asked him for the documents.

'

Really?' he says. 'You have made more progress than I have with her.'

'Well I don't really know if she would say yes, but if she does, I would love to have the paperwork for it.' I say.

'Well if she does, you two kids deserve it,' he says. 'And don't worry no one in the record office suspected anything.'

I slide the papers back into the envelope and walk over to the kitchen where I begin to clean up from yesterday's class on how to make bread.

Upstairs I hear the water running. Walking out to the living room I stop and take it all in.

'Papa, she said yes.' I say softly. 'Don't worry; I will keep my promise to you.'

It was way before all this happened. Probably almost four to five years ago. Still day dreaming about her in school, and of course getting in trouble for it, my father had to leave my mother to tend to the bakery as my teacher had requested to speak to him. After the typical conversation on how I lack focus and that I have to think about my future, she lets us go.

Walking home, I know what is coming.

'So,' he says. 'Was it her again?'

Kicking a pebble on the ground, looking down I say the only thing that I can think of.

'It has always been her,' I say.

'Peeta, son, listen,' he says. 'Promise me something?'

I stop walking, look up and nod.

That if you two were ever to get married, that you would never forget the most important thing,' he says.

'Papa, I know. She will always know.' I say. 'Everyday, from the day she says yes, till the day one of us goes, she will know one thing for sure, that she is loved.'

He taps me on the shoulder and we start to walk back to the bakery.

'Let's not mention it, though, to your mother, that you got in trouble because of her,' he says laughing. 'I would never hear the end of it.'

Just then I hear her come downstairs.

"Peeta, come take a shower," she says.

Walking upstairs I see her in the same soft yellow dress that she wore that day in District Four. Her hair this time has been let loose and I see the soft waves of her hair.

I trace the waves and look at her.

"You know make me happy?" I say. "I will spend every day trying to make as happy as you make me."

She smiles and rushes me into the shower telling me that they will be here any minute.

"Kiss before?" I ask.

"Kiss after, if you get quickly done," she says.

Smiling I tell her that incentives like that always get me to do things quickly. The aromas in the bathroom are strong and the heat from the water causes the mirrors and windows to be fogged. In the bathroom mirror I see that she has left me a note with her finger on the fogged mirror.

'I knew you ask me for one, so here it is,'

Next to the note is her lips pressed on the glass. I let out a laugh and yell out.

"This doesn't count!"

I can hear a faint laughing downstairs as I walk into the shower. The warm water on my body feels so relaxing that I wonder if it was the hot water or the fact that she is beginning to know how I think. It is nice to know that someone out there in this whole world doesn't think me too weird to understand me.

After a quick scrub with the soap, I let the water just drain before stepping out. She has left me a towel and yet I don't see any change of clothes. Opening the door I see the room across the hall. There in my field of vision is a pair of brown slacks hanging on the back of a chair with boots in front and a white shirt nicely folded on the seat of the chair.

Getting dressed, I place the brown suspenders on the pants and roll up the long sleeve buttoned down white shirt. Walking over to the mirror I grab the nearby comb and run it through my hair. Slipping on my leg and then the boots, I walk down the stairs only to find Katniss there talking to Haymitch and Effie.

"What took you so long," I say to Haymitch. "We were going to leave without you."

"Well when we heard that you were discharged to an undisclosed location naturally we knew exactly where to find you." He says.

Neither Katniss nor myself mention the toasting or what happened last night. This is just for us, the Capitol has taken control of everything in our lives that this one little thing we want to keep for ourselves.

This lasted oh, probably five minutes, Haymitch being as nosy as ever starts to look at Katniss with a puzzle look.

"Something is different," he says. "Can't put my finger on it, but something has changed."

"What?" she retorts. "Nothing has changed."

He looks around and finally looks at me. He knows full well that although I can speak, it is difficult for me to lie.

"Seems like you two did something that I thought I would never see happen," he says.

"What's that?" I say.

"You let yourselves be happy," he says. "This calls for a toast, got any liquor in this place?"

Effie looks at Haymitch confused and then looks at us.

"Whatever is he talking about?" She says. "Must be the alcohol talking per usual."

"Come here you old stiff," Haymitch says grabbing her twirling her around as if they are dancing. "It isn't everyday that you see the Mockingjay get married."

Effie Trinket isn't really someone who catches on very quickly but when we tell her of what we had done she wasn't too pleased.

"It is proper etiquette, for a ceremony to occur and then a celebration," she says.

We think about it and of course dismiss it. This is the only thing that it is ours. Katniss however defers to me.

"Honestly this tradition is a personal one and we felt that we wanted to keep it as such. We haven't made up our mind on if we would like a celebration, but if we do, you will be the first one we call." I say.

She kisses me on the cheek. Guess that was the right thing to say. A Capitol attendant comes and helps us with the bags. We walk outside for the first time today and the air is chilly so I place my arms around her, and find that her hand goes around my waist.

All Haymitch could do is laugh at the sight calling us a couple of lovesick puppies, but this time no cameras.

"I would have been happy if you did this back then," he says about our affection towards each other.

"We were, you simply weren't paying attention," Katniss says. She glances my way and all I can do is warn her that I could still tickle her in front of them. She nods no laughing, and we all get into the car.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Plutarch has asked me to set up a post war interview, and with this newfound news, it would be the perfect time." Effie says.

We both look to each other, knowing that it is the last thing that we want, for cameras to be following us around. Who would they get to do the interviews? Caesar, last I heard was killed during the taking of the Capitol. Such a sad end for a person that probably had no knowledge of the rebellion, or even an opinion of it.

I do think about Cinna and Portia and how their involvement in the uprising was something that we could not even imagine. I think about Portia sometimes, how she was such a great friend, and how I wish she was still here.

"Probably in a couple weeks, making a great first impression is something that I learned from you. Want to have the place nice and ready for the crew." I say.

I feel her tense up, and know that soon enough will have to explain why I said yes. My thought is if I can give in here then probably they will finally leave us alone. It probably never going to happen, but if I can get the house made by the lake then we can finally disappear there.

We driving through the nearby forest and finally to a nearby landing pad, there a hovercraft waiting for us. Something about the sight of the hovercraft causes me to start to breath quicker. She looks down at my hands and sees that they are shaking. She leans in and begins to hum, and try and calm me down.

"Just the thought that every hovercraft that we have gotten in has taken us to a place of death," I say. "First the games, and then to the war in the Capitol.

She rubs my hand and I look at her eyes.

"Peeta, listen to the sound of my voice," she says soothing like. "Concentrate on the tone, concentrate on the words. You are safe here."

I begin breathing a little bit softer.

"You love me?" I ask. "Real or not real."

She looks at me, leans in.

"Real."

Getting out the car she holds my hand and leads me to the hovercraft and getting on the door closes and we are off to District Four.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Flying in hovercrafts is more efficient than going by trains. The reason I guess for going by trains is to remove any tension that might come with seeing hovercrafts flying over the districts.

Make sense I think to myself, if just by seeing the outside of one causes me to react, I could only imagine other people seeing them flying overhead. Turning over to her I see that she is still trying to calm me down.

"How are you?" I ask.

I know this can't be easy for her either. Thinking about it, this is the first time that she sees a hovercraft since the one that dispersed the silver parachutes that killed her sister.

"Would be better if we weren't on this thing," she says. "Having you next to me helps though."

"You do the same thing for me." I respond.

It is at that moment that we realize that together we are stronger, granted still broken but still stronger. Looking at each other's eyes we lose ourselves in our own little world. It isn't until Haymitch shout at us that we realize that they were talking to us.

"You know, there is the matter of where we are going that the train attendant are requesting," he says.

Katniss turns to Effie and smiling says.

"District Four."

"Wonderful, I did enjoy our time there," she says. "Probably we can schedule a little time to meet with the new Mayor."

"Effie, we are going to spend a little time alone in the one place that we were happy. We also want to visit an old friend."

Katniss looks at me and know that I mean Annie Cresta and her little boy. I know that although we never spoke about it, it was understood that with Finnick saving both me and her that we owe it to him to take care of his wife and son.

"It is about looking in on someone who I owe my life for. Someone taught me the value of owing someone." I say.

I feel her hand tighten and know that agrees and approves. Looking over she smiles and looks out the window. It is amazing how the little things that we learn about someone when you just pay attention.

The hovercraft begins to descend and we are told that we are about to touch down. Looking outside of the windows and I see the ground open up and the craft continue down. It reminds me of the Detention Center, or District Thirteen.

"What is with going underground?" I say.

Katniss lets out a chuckle and holds my hand knowing that the memories of the Detention Center cause my anxiety. The weeks of torture how they tried to break me, try to change the way I felt about her. It has taken me a long time to realize that although it as most difficult thing was to forget her back then, it was the best thing.

The breadcrumbs, was the only thing that I could do, to get back to her. It was the only thing that I could think of. They tried to take her from me, but they couldn't.

The door opens and upon getting out we hear the forest and the train station that is part of a military installation. The train is there waiting for us, surrounded by military personnel.

"Next time I think we should walk," she tells me.

I laugh and agree on the walking, really just thinking about it, walking hand in hand. She gets near and holds my hand with both of hers.

We walk onto the train which is smaller than the typical train. It has four cars, the dining car, kitchen car, sleeping car, and servant car. It is push by the engine in the rear and pulled by another in the front. On the side of the train are the words Concord bullet.

Once all of us are on board, the train begins to move and very quickly. The two engines really push the train to gain speed that although we cannot feel, we can see out the windows.

"No need to get comfortable, this train will get us to District Four, in about two hours or so," an attendant says.

An hour, from the Capitol, that is truly amazing, seeing how we are about almost a day from District Four. We move to the dining room, which doubles for a sitting room when not used.

Sitting down in a chair, she sits next to me. Effie and Haymitch move from the dining car to their rooms. I look at her and feel the need to explain myself on what I told Effie about the interview.

"About what I said to Effie," I say. I grab the envelope and hand it to her. She slides out the paperwork, and begins to leaf through the pages. There are no secrets between us.

"You got permission to build outside the fence, how?" she asks.

"Petitioned to the President and she approved it," I say. "Felt if we can build there no one could find us. The scheduled interview would be in our current house in the Victor Village, and then after we give them what we want, they would probably leave us alone. There was a time after the war that no one bothered us, and now since the Tribunal is over, soon enough everything will again die down."

She leans over to me and caresses my cheek.

"You are sweet, you know that?" She says.

She continues and read about the plans to rebuild the bakery, the fact that the bakery connects to a bigger project. It is something that I had always wanted to do, to help the forgotten children of District Twelve.

"Peeta, this is wonderful, do you think it can be done?" She asks.

"Don't know, but will try," I say.

She places the papers back in the envelope with the exception of one. Going through it, she lets out a shy smile, and then the cheeks turned red.

"Little presumptuous, don't you think?" she says. "How did you know I would say yes?"

"Were you going to say no?" I say. "Honestly I didn't, but hope that you would."

She places the papers on the end table, leans in and I feel the familiarity of her lips, and the ache that my body feels from the desire of more. The only woman I know that can make me feel this way.

I hear someone clearing their throat, and turn to them. It is a Capitol attendant, standing there in all white; he couldn't be more than fourteen or so. He stands there as straight as he could.

"Mister Mellark, the conductor would you to know that we are approaching District Four, and will be there in about thirty minutes," he says.

He departs and we just sit there looking at each other. Her hair waves down to her shoulders, it isn't confined in a braid, and it is free, just flowing. I work my fingers in her hair and she turns and lies on my chest.

"You know, I could do this all day and be happy just doing this," I say. "Wonder how long we can stay in District Four?"

She looks up at me and says "well the President Paylor told me that the train is ours for the day, and that tomorrow the train is scheduled to depart back to the Capitol. She scheduled a regular train for us tomorrow."

She traces my forearm back and forth with her finger tips. I hold back the laughter as her finger tip is something that I have to get use to. There are a lot of things that I have to get use to. The one thing that I hadn't thought of, was getting used to not having someone as a guardian. First of course are my parents, Portia who are no longer here. Then Haymitch and Doctor Aurellis who have better things in life than looking over me.

Now it is just us. She had always taken care of someone and now she has no one but me to take care of.

"How do you like yours eggs?" I ask.

She laughs and asks me why the random question.

"Well I realized that it is just us now, and well I would like to know how my wife likes her eggs," I say smiling. The statement of 'my wife' always makes me smile and cringe at the same time. It makes me smile because I could not be happier than I am right now and cringe because it could all be a dream.

"Hmmm, well I always did love my father would make them, scrambled with cheese," she says. "He would make them for Prim and me; it is those little things that I sometimes miss the most."

"Well scrambled with cheese it is," I say. It is funny, but we are still just small little kids enjoying the things that we had to place on hold, back when we had to grow up quicker than expected.

The train begins to slow down and can see District Four come into view. The fishing district always brought lots of Capitol officials wishing to see the beach. My memories of District Four are all hazy and in bits and pieces. Only thing that I remember is the sand and waves, seeing Katniss smiling and laughing so freely.

There is no one waiting for us in the station and even Haymitch keeps Effie busy enough for us to sneak off. The rebuilding process is currently underway and can see the Justice Building being rebuilt. According what Katniss tells me, that accommodations have been made for where we are to sleep tonight, although she won't tell me where.

"Sometimes surprises are worth the wait," she says.

"They sure are," I say rubbing her hand.

"Come let's see the ocean," she says.

We walk hand in hand down the boardwalk. The salty air and the boat bells welcome every person who travels to their version of the square. There are little shops the hug the boardwalk which overlooks the pier. The sun is out and the clouds blanket the sky. It is peaceful but with many people out walking we all just blend in.

Getting to the edge of the boardwalk, I see the same wooden stairs that we went down to the beach. Once we are the last step Katniss removes her sandals and holds them on her right hand. I sit on the step and remove my boots; tying the shoe laces together I swing the boots over my neck. Touching the sand with my hands I let slip through my fingers; it is as soft as I remembered.

Looking up I see here looking down at me, the sun has hidden behind her and I can see her smile wide.

"Do you remember?" She asks.

"Starting to, the things I do remember are your laughter, you were truly happy then," I say.

She lifts her hands to the sky and then wide, as if trying to embrace everything around her. I see my opportunity and run up and lift her carrying her in my arms.

She holds me tight as I spin her around, I hear her laughing and it is like music to my ears. She kisses me, which causes me to almost lose my balance. It was one of the happiest moments that I can remember.

She whispers that she wants to walk the coast line with me, so I place her gently on the sand. We start to walk alongside the coast, the cool water refreshing our feet as we go.

There in the distance I see a group of people there standing in the sand. We approach them silently as to not disrupt them. There in the sand, we are witness to a wedding ceremony. I guess that is how they do it in District Four. It is small ceremony, both families surround them as an official ask them to share why they should be together forever.

I steal small glances at her and can see that she is beginning to tear up. It really doesn't matter to me if we did have an official ceremony or not, but looking at her, I can tell that it matters to her.

Leaning over, I say to her, "you know it would be great to have one of these ceremonies back home."

She looks at me and smiles.

"You know invite your mother, and your friends," I continue. "I can see how much it means to you and well, you deserve to have one. What do you think?"

"I think I love you even more now," she says.

The bride and the groom had just kissed, when I turn and see her just there smiling, happy to have been a part of this little ceremony, even if we weren't invited to it. We share a quick kiss, and find that some of the family members have approached us.

"Excuse me," a little old lady says. "Would you like to join us?"

"Oh, we couldn't, but thank you for the invitation," Katniss says.

She looks at us as trying to picture us, and insists that both of us join us. She walks us to the happy couple that was just married.

"Maggie, Steven, look who was in the back as a witness to your union, Katniss and Peeta," the little old lady says.

"Thank you so much for everything," Steven says. "Please it would mean so much to us if you would join us."

"We would love to but we have plans already," I say. "Congratulations on your beautiful day."

We meet everyone there in their small family. They were relocated from District Seven, and everyone who we see there are all that is left of a very large family that has seen many hardships.

Walking back she takes out a very old letter, and reads the last couple of pages. The handwriting is very fine and elegant; she has taken very good care of these pages, putting them back in their envelope and back in her bag. She tells me that we have to make two stops in District Four.

After walking for about twenty minutes with the seagulls flying around, we make it to this little community and finally to house number sixteen on a street called Madison.

She walks up to the door and knocks. Looking at me she quickly fixes my hair.

The door opens and out comes running a little boy with golden blonde curls. He wraps his little arms around her legs.

"Well hello there, you must be Liam," she says.

He looks up and nods.

"Where is your mommy, Liam?" she says.

He places his thumb in his mouth and points with the other hand inside. It is only a couple of seconds before I see who lives this nice little house, Annie Cresta and her son Liam.

"Peeta, Katniss how nice of you to visit. Please come in," she says.

Walking inside, I am immediately taken back on how simple Annie lives. The same 'crazy' girl is more sane and together than anyone of us. She is a quiet person and is very gentle with little Liam, which is a splitting image of his father Finnick.

Sitting down on a sofa, little Liam comes up to me and asks me if I want to play with him.

"Of course, what do you want to play?" I say.

"Fishermen and Monsters, you be the monster," he says.

I have never have played fishermen and monsters.

"How do you play?" I ask.

"Umm, you are a monster and I fight you," he says.

Okay, so I get the premise of the game, basically I chase him and with his little wooden sword he kills me. Soon enough he is running not away from me, but towards me. Definitely the son of Finnick O'dair not scared to fight.

I hear both Katniss and Annie laughing at the fact that I am running away.

"Well the sword is not made of pillows," I say. "Solid wood does still hurt."

After a while Annie tells Liam to get cleaned up for lunch. I pick up Liam and carry him on my shoulders. When Katniss looks at me with those soft eyes she tells me to get cleaned up too.

I nod and smile.

Sitting down on a small kitchen table, Annie serves us a fish stew. It smells delicious and with the breads we dunk it in the stew, well that is how Liam tells me to do it.

"You know, Peeta, you are a natural with him, when are you two going to have one of your own?" Annie asks.

Katniss immediately begins to choke on the words, and I can't help but to stammer at the thought.

"Well it is still early, but hopefully one day," I say.

She looks at me and still choking trying to get words out of her mouth.

"Without little Liam, I don't know how I would survive. I see some much of Fin in him that it keeps me sane. Well that and your mother's visits," She says.

"My mother," Katniss says surprised.

"After the war she started coming around every day, saying that talking about the ones we lost help us never forget them," she says. "She talked about her husband, and her little daughter, how much she has missed you and we mourned together, but she has really helped me a lot. She help deliver little Liam."

Just hearing someone else talk about her mother puts a smile on her face. Annie tells us that she was really put a lot of hours getting the hospital in District Four up and running. She has been helping those that have lost love ones from the war, by starting support groups.

"She lives only two more houses down from here," she says looking up at the clock. "Come her shift is almost over and I know that she would love to see you."

This is definitely not the same Annie Cresta from the Games. It is like this was the Annie met and fell in love with. I know what it is like to be lost in your own torture, inside the hurt. I can still remember those moments when Katniss's mother would come and visit me in the infirmary, and how she welcomed me into her family back then. She helped me find a level of sanity to hold onto, and probably that is what she did for Annie.

She places some of the fish stew in a container and we all walk to her Katniss mother's house. The sun seems to begin to set as we walk all four of us hand in hand. Liam of course is swinging by my arm and by Annies'.

The house is a little modest house with a porch and a light that is a welcome sight. We walk up to the door and Katniss knocks on the door. After a couple of minutes the door opens and there stands Mrs. Everdeen.

"Look who I found wandering around?" Annie says.

"Oh my, it is my kids," she says and embraces us together.

"Hi, mom," Katniss says.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Standing there all I can do is just place my hands in my pockets. The only thing I can think of is that this is the first time I have met Mrs. Everdeen as Katniss's newlywed husband. I never did know how to handle mothers. What I wouldn't get to have my father's wisdom right about now.

"Katniss come in, Peeta it is so nice to see you," she says embracing me. Walking in I see the house looks almost exactly like the one back in the Victor's village.

Annie walks over to Katniss's mother and hands her the stew. She thanks her and little Liam gives her a kiss on her cheek.

"Annie stay, we can all catch up," she says.

"No that is okay, I have to get Liam in bed soon," Annie says.

Katniss's hand has become very sweaty, or it might be mines, could be both of our hands. Looking at her, I start to chuckle a little. Her mother walks into the kitchen to place the food in the refrigerator. Only have a couple of seconds before she comes back.

"Why are you nervous?" I whisper to her.

"Well how do we tell her that we are already married and you know," she says.

She walks back in and looks at us whispering.

"Do you both need another minute? I can pretend to have forgotten something and go back to the kitchen," she says.

We both look at each other stunned at her straight forwardness. Now I know where Katniss gets it from.

"Mom, I don't know where..." she says.

"Katniss did I ever tell you how your father asked my parents for permission to marry their only daughter?" She says.

"No," she says.

"But please tells me, so I have an idea," I say.

I feel the sharp punch in my leg from Katniss. There is nothing innocent or ladylike about how she can hit someone.

"Ouch," I say looking at her. "Any help I can get, I will take."

"Katniss, it doesn't take a smart person to notice that you are both here, and both are nervous about something. I saw what how he pushed you out the way, thank you by the way. All your father had back then was a promise to my father." She says.

"Mom," Katniss start to say.

"Katniss it is okay, you are old enough to make your own decisions about who you want to give your heart to. What I think shouldn't matter or sway what you decide," she says.

I don't know but I think that Katniss is upset about not having to sell her case.

"Your father was so nervous that his voice cracked, like he was a teenager. It made us all start to laugh and he was trying to be the big tough coal miner, and his voice cracked. Oh, how I miss him, but you really have found each other and I know that you will make her happy," she says.

The tension is no longer there. Looking at Katniss, all she can do is smile, because she knows the promise that we have made to each other.

"Peeta come here," she says standing up.

She opens her arms, and all I can do is walk and she embraces me. Last time she held me I was in the Capitol hospital and I was mourning because of Prim. She was always there when I needed someone to not so much tell me what I needed to hear but to just let the emotions flow.

"You were always a part of this family," she says. "Good thing you both didn't give up on each other. Katniss come here."

She stands and walks over to us and joins in on the embrace. This family has taken in an orphan and has made him feel like he was part of something special. I will always appreciate her because of it. She told me once that I had another family, and that was proud to have me be a part of it.

We talk about life in District Four and how the air here in the southern part of Panem is much more humid than it is back in District Twelve. Although no one brings up the subject you can tell that Katniss's mother would never return to live in District Twelve.

"Would you come to the wedding?" I ask. "We are thinking of having a very small ceremony and would love to have you there."

She says that she wouldn't miss it but that we would have to give her enough time to get the time off from the hospital. Although it is almost up and running she still has to train all the upcoming doctors on how to use holistic medicine as well as synthetic.

She asks us about how life is back in District Twelve. We tell her about the knocking down of the Square and the rebuilding process. Of course I get scolded because of my run in with the wild dogs.

"You ought to be more careful, and not travel into the woods without Katniss, or at least have her teach you how to hunt," she says.

"That is on the 'to do' list when we get back," Katniss says.

"How is Sae? I understand that she has been preparing meals for you," she says.

"Well when we get back we are to lessen that, so that she can spend time with her grand kids." I say.

She explains that Sae needs to be active that is how most people work through grief. She had volunteered to take care of us because that way she can feel wanted. We found out that Katniss's mother was the one who had asked Sae to look in on both of us. From what she is getting paid at the hospital she gives a portion to her for her expenses. Although Sae hardly ever takes it, she always tells her that she is glad to do it. Even from afar, from another district she is taking care of us.

The topic of grief and lost is never easy and even now it brings the raw emotions to the surface. There is a lot of hurt and a lot of anger in the topic of Prim. Between both of them I don't know which will bring up the topic.

After about another hour of talking about the pleasantries of the district, Katniss's mother brings up Prim.

"You know we have to talk about it, Katniss," she says.

"I'd rather not, don't want to ruin the visit," Katniss responds.

"It is the only way to get past it," she says.

She asks me to take her home.

"Peeta, please if you could excuse us," she says.

I get up and Katniss asks me to stay.

"We don't have secrets between us," she says.

"Okay, well if you prefer it," she says. "I am sorry that you lost your little sister but remember that I lost my daughter, as well as you lost your sister."

"Why was she there, mom?" She says raising her voice. "Why couldn't you have protected her?"

She just lowers her face and shakes her head. We all have opinions on why she would have been there. We still don't know if the attack was orchestrated by President Coin.

"She did it to honor you!" She says yelling back. "We didn't know if you had survived or not. All the reports on the televisions from the Capitol were that you had died. Even President Coin confirmed it to everyone in District Thirteen that you were dead."

The tears flowing freely, the hurt coming easily, there are no restraints with family. Sometimes we even say the things that we would never to family just because we know that they will always forgive us.

"You should have stopped her," Katniss says.

"Don't you think I did? She left District Thirteen yelling at me upset, because I wasn't allowing her to go. She wanted to help the cause to be like her big sister. The day before, she snuck out of your quarters where she had been crying all night, and onto to a medic vac." She says crying. "I tried everything, and still she left."

Katniss tears suddenly stop and she just looked at her mother. Clearly she can see that she tried to stop her. She walked over to her, and her mother stops her, and lifts her head.

"I could have tried harder, I could have done something more, but that day, my whole world ended, I had just lost everything that mattered, I lost your father, I lost you, and I lost my little Primrose," she says.

Katniss grabs her hand and finally after all the crying and the yelling, she holds her mother and they finally grieve together. I walk over to the kitchen and get two glasses of water and some tissues. I never knew how much hurt was there. I can't imagine finding out that your oldest daughter died, and then to have your youngest go and die as well.

Katniss's mother wipes her tears.

"But when I heard that you were alive, I knew that I couldn't fall apart until I knew you were okay. Until I knew you would be taken care of," she says looking at her.

She then turns looks at me, and stretches out her hand. "This is why I know that you will be okay, because this," she places both our hands together, "makes sense, he will be there for you, just like I know you will be there for her."

She stands and leaves us there holding hands. I hold her and she continues to cry. There are no words to console her; all I can do is just being there for her. There will always be a hole where Prim filled, and the only thing I can do is realize that.

"If she had known that I was still alive," she begins.

"Don't do that, the 'could have', 'should have,' we will never know," I say.

The only thought that bothered me, was why President Coin didn't, tell everyone that Katniss was still alive. If she had, Prim wouldn't have snuck into a medic vac headed for the Capitol. Out of all people she would have seen the broadcasts of our wanted photos.

Thinking back to that moment in Tigris's shop where the news cast were shown of people beating on a boy that supposedly looked like me, they asked if there had been any break-ins by Beetee and was told that there were none.

Could it be that President Coin used this opportunity to tell everyone that we were all dead? Was it a ploy to get the final push by the rebels to storm the President's mansion?

Just the thought that someone could have been so manipulative, to obtain a final result, is enough to bring goose bumps. If I could have come to this conclusion, I am pretty sure that Katniss has once thought of it.

"Is it my fault," she says in a hush voice. "Could I have been the real reason that we have lost so much?"

"No," I say. "We could have never predicted how everything would have turned out. If we would have died in the Hunger Games, there still might have been an uprising and who knows if either of our families would have still made it."

"So there is nothing we could have done to save them?" She says.

"I don't know, I'd like to think so, but all I can do is live for them, so that their deaths wouldn't have been in vain," I say.

Walking back Katniss's mom sits next to us.

"Feeling better?" she says.

Katniss all she do is throw her arms around her and continue to cry.

"I just miss her so much," Katniss says.

"I know, I do too," she responds. "We have to be strong for her, and know that she would like both of us to have a stronger relationship."

"I'd like that," Katniss says.

She stands and walks over to the powder room to get freshened up; her eyes and nose were all red and puffy.

Katniss's mom takes this opportunity to tell me that she approves of our request for marriage and that she is sorry about the emotional yelling.

"It is quite alright, I know that she meant a lot to both of you. I only really knew her for a little bit and still having a hard time accepting the fact that she isn't here anymore," I say. "I can see that this family has a lot of love for each other."

"You know I still have that sketch you made of her," she says, just as Katniss walks in.

"Can I see?" Katniss asks. "Peeta, told me about it and I never got to see it."

"Of course, come," she says.

We walk upstairs and in her room. Her room is very neat and minimal. On the nightstand she has a framed picture. She picks it up and hands it to Katniss. She traces the pencil marks, and just stands there looking at it.

"It is the only pictures that I have of you," she says.

I tell her that we will take tons of pictures and send them to her. She smiles and asks where we would spend the night tonight. Katniss mentions that she has a place and that before we leave tomorrow we will pass by to say our proper goodbyes.

Katniss's mother gives me another hug and tells me again, that to remember the promises that I had made to her. Walking outside I see that the sun had already set. We take a couple of steps before stop her and look at her in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I will be, thinking about her, brings back feelings of lost that I am still trying to get over," she says.

"I know it is hard, but if you let me, I will help you as best as I can," I say. "We help each other out right?"

"Yes, just don't give up on me. It is hard because I had always had to worry about one person and that was Prim, and now it is just hard, to let people see me like that," she says. "But I trust you, letting you see me like this is scary but I know that I want you to be there," she says.

"I understand, and thank you for letting me in," I say.

"By the way, what promise did you do to my mom?" She says.

"That I would always protect you and bring you home," I say.

She looks at me and wonders if someone can actually make that sort of promise.

"It is difficult I know, to promise someone that, I mean how can you protect someone all the time?" I say.

"Well, it seems that you are the one that I have to protect," she says laughing.

It is true, although the first time, I was protecting her from Cato.

"So where are we sleeping?" I say.

She smiles, "it is a surprise."

We walk in the night sky along the main road, all the little houses, have turned off these lights and are more than likely everyone is sleeping. It is late and no one is really walking or out on the road. The rocks beneath our feet make noise as we walk.

"Let's try to see how quiet you can be," Katniss says. "We will do lesson number one on how to hunt."

I look at her laughing, remembering our Games, and how I was loud enough to get stuck on berry duty. I walk with more of a focus to not make noise. She looks at me and points her ears towards the noise.

"Can still hear you," she says laughing.

"Well wasn't expecting to be graded tonight on how quietly I can walk," I say. "Close your eyes, and see if you can point out where I am."

She walks a couple of feet and finally turns closing her eyes.

Walking very quietly, she starts to try and hear and I find that she hasn't been able to find me, as she is looking in the other direction. Just as I am about five feet away, I still my breath and walk up to her.

"You know, I can hear you, and you are right behind me," she says laughing.

Grabbing her, I pick her up and twirl her around.

"Peeta!" she says.

"Hey If I was a predator, then I would have already gotten to you," I say.

"Unless I let you get close enough to me, because I know who it is?" she says.

There in the distance I see a little house with its light on. It is the only one by itself near the pier.

"Is that where we are staying?" I ask.

"Hmm hmm," she says.

Walking to the little house, I can tell that she has been planning this for a while. I wonder where she had planned this. Could it be when I was there in the hospital for a couple of days? That is the only time that I can think of. So here we are, I asked for the marriage paperwork before the whole Tribunal and she got all this planned when I was in the hospital. I guess we know each other, or hope we do.

It is a cozy little house, not much.

"Wait for it," she says walking over to the wall that the bed is pointing to. She touches a button and the walls suddenly disappeared and all you see now is the ocean and moon.

It is the most amazing sight I have ever seen. Seeing her smiling, she knows how amazing this is.

"You like it?" she says.

"It is amazing," I say.

"Not yet down," she says. Walking over to the right wall there is another button. Pressing it, I hear something move over head and looking up the roof begins to move and there in front of us, Katniss has done something that I have always wanted to relive.

She grabs my hand and leads me to the bed in the middle. We lie down and look up and there in the moon light, we are back on the beach of the Quarter Quell.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

The things that we experience are what make us who we are today. Whether it is a good thing or bad, they can cause us to venture out, or close ourselves from the pain. It is the memories that tie us to those experiences. I have learned that when the memory brings you pain, change the memory.

The Hunger Games many times will give me the nightmares and the memories that I wish to forget. What I try to do is remember the little memories that I had with her. It is why I see the Hunger Games as something of a great memory because it brought me the opportunity to tell her how I feel.

The time that they tried to take these memories away from me was the most difficult because by removing them, they take away the experience. It was hard to remember the memories, because I couldn't experience it again. Seeing the experiences via a video or by someone telling me, I couldn't access the memory. It was a hard time for me to keep my sanity. Even now sometimes I have to wonder if what I am feeling is real or because of something that I saw or someone told me.

I see her there under the moonlight. We look at each other, her eyes look straight into the inner most part of me. She gently touches my cheek and all I can do is kiss her hand. Moving in closer I can feel her warm body touch mine. We kiss passionately for what feels like hours. I am completely lost in her; she is all I can think of, she is all I can feel.

Everything; I can feel everything. I can feel her everywhere, and I don't know where she begins and I end. Looking at her hands, how soft they feel in mines, how it fits perfectly

She closes her eyes and I place my hand on her chest. I have to know, that what I am experiencing, is it real. I feel her heartbeat, how it beats in a rhythm, and in a calm manner.

Looking at me, she smiles.

"Sorry just had to make sure," I say. "You will always be a dream to me. You are my dream. After what I went through, the darkness, the uncertainty, you became my dream."

She places her hand on my chest. She can feel my heart not as steady as hers. The mention of this moment in my life causes me to wish it never happened.

"Peeta, if you ever want to talk about it, know that I am here for you," she says.

Thinking about what she is offering. Would she think less of me, when she knows what I had to go through?

"Are you sure?" I say. "Those are the only memories that I wished never happened."

She nods and says that it will not change how she feels about me. That she wants to help me through it, so that she can understand me.

"The thing is that when you weren't there and it was just me and Johanna, I knew that as long as I knew you were okay, then I was fine with whatever they would do to me," I say "They came after me where the one place that they can hurt me, my memories of you."

She looks at me, unsure of what to say but tentatively waiting for me to continue, unsure of myself of how to begin to tell her about what they did to me.

Taking a deep breath I continue.

"They stuck me in the first room; it was a circular room but had no markings. They turned off all the lights and for days I didn't know if it was day or night, if I was dreaming or still awake," I say my voice trembling. She sees this and moves in placing her arms around me, offering comfort.

"You don't have to go any further if you don't want to," she says. She can tell that it is hard for me to talk about this. I can feel the trembling and it is very self evident.

"Peeta, your trembling." she says pressing her body more, trying to calm me by rubbing my back.

I grab her finger tip and move it to the injection entry point.

"Sorry, it is that even now after all these months, I can still feel where they stuck that needle in me," I say showing her the mark. "That day they said I died numerous times. That was their game to kill me and bring me back to life."

She looks at me shocked and concerned. This was the first time that she has heard what happened to me while under the Capitol's captured.

"I didn't know," she says fighting back the tears.

"It is okay how could you have known but see I am okay," I say.

"So the shaking, trembling," she says.

"Yes, comes from that," I say. "Doctor Aurellis says that when I feel one coming that holding onto something true helps me from losing it. I chose you as what helps me, I think of you and it helps."

"Peeta I am so sorry that you had to go through that," she says.

"Talking about it helps, thank you for listening to me," I say. "I thought I was alone in this."

"You will never be alone," she says.

"Come, let's get some sleep, it will be morning soon, and you should try to get some rest before we have to leave." I say.

She kisses me gently and lies down on my chest. Finally falling asleep peace enters my heart and I can feel that I am not alone. That through it all, I have her.

It is only a couple of hours when I open my eyes and I can hear her crying very quietly. I see her there at the foot of the bed. Grabbing the blanket I make my way up to her and cover her with it. I see that she had been crying for a little bit, because her nose is all red.

"What's wrong?" I ask wiping her tears from her face. Lifting up her chin and kissing her on the tip of her nose. She looks at me with those sad eyes.

"I don't know if I could ever forgive myself for what they did to you," she says.

"It wasn't your fault, without you I don't think that I could have made it." I say.

I grab her hand and place it on my chest.

"You feel that?" I say. "That heart beat wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you. Through the worst times in that detention center, it was you that kept me going, the possibility of seeing you again."

Looking down, I know the shame that comes from what I did the first time I saw her.

"Katniss, I am sorry..." I begin to say. The memory of putting my hands around her neck brings tears to my mind. Never wanted to remember that day, everything was happening again. I can feel my heart beat quicken.

She turns and grabs onto me calming me down.

"Peeta, you don't have anything to be sorry about," she says.

"There are many things that I am not proud of," I say. "The day that I saw you again, I didn't know..."

She stops me from continuing.

"Peeta, it is not your fault," she says, wiping my tears.

"I didn't know that it was real," I say. "That day, I didn't know, everything was like a nightmare starting over, the same hovercraft, and the same entrance underground. It is no excuse, I should have been stronger, and I should have stopped myself."

She holds me, and tells me over and over that it wasn't my fault.

"I hurt the one person that I had always loved, and I hate myself for it. I hate them for it," I say. "How could you still love me after all that?"

"Because when I needed you, you were always there. Peeta, you have saved me, let me save you," she says.

"How?" I say.

"By letting me take that guilt from you, by letting me love you," she says.

"You still love me," I ask.

"Always," she says.

We hold each other and let the hurt of what I had done fall in the tears that I had shed. She has given me the one thing that I had always sought her forgiveness.

"So, you still want to be Mrs. Mellark?" I say.

She smiles.

"Did I tell you, that I like the way that sounds?" she says.

We talk about how we would like the ceremony to be a small one. She can't decide where she would it to be, saying that she was never good with the 'girlie' thing. We just laugh when she says that the meat she can provide fresh.

"So I can imagine you in your wedding dress hunting in the forest for the deer. I think the white will kind of give you away to the game," I say.

"You know what? You are right; do you think it would be breaking tradition if I came in a camouflage dress?" She says smiling.

I don't know if she is serious or being funny, but whatever she wants as long as she is happy. It is like the topic of the ceremony gave us a pause of the emotional rollercoaster that we have had, and allowed us to have some sort of happiness.

We talk about who to invite, there aren't that many people we even know.

"Do you think Annie and Liam would come if we asked?" Katniss asks.

"I think so, and she brings Liam, we can probably get him involved in the ceremony," I say.

"Think Haymitch would come?" She asks.

"Only if we provide him with the liquor," I say.

We both laugh at the thought of seeing Haymitch sober and unhappy. Can still remember how happy Haymitch was to be home in District Twelve, he must have been drunk for two days straight.

There is something though that I just thought of. I am pretty sure that she has thought of it as well. Although it will cause more problems it is her decision.

"If you want to invite him, it is okay," I say.

She looks at me, and the laughter suddenly stops. We all have to cross this bridge even if we didn't want to.

"Don't think he would come, but thank you for letting me know," she says.

"I didn't mean anything by it, I know that he is important to you, and well, I want you to know that if he is important to you, it is important to me," I say.

She stands and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"I know, that is why I don't think it would be a good idea," she says walking towards the floor. She slips on my t-shirt and walks back slipping in between the sheets.

"I was cold," she says smiling.

"Well it looks better on you anyways," I say. "You know that one of these days we have to get some rest."

"Well this time I requested a regular train, so we should be there for about a day or so," she says.

"When did you plan all this?" I ask.

"Well you were sleeping for a couple days," she says.

She slides closer to me and I place my arms around her. After the day we just had, just spending time looking at the stars seems like a great choice. She asks me where Prim's star is, and I point at the bright pink star now in the upper left hand side of the sky.

It is the last thing I remember before both of us give in and our bodies give out. The next thing I see is the sun light and a knocking on the door. Rubbing my eyes I see Katniss is still sleeping next to me.

Getting up I pick up my under shorts and place them on. Hearing the knock I walk over to the nearby window and peek out the blinds. There stands Effie Trinket with a clip board. She doesn't look too happy, there looking at her clip board and then her watch.

I wonder if she had told Katniss what time to be ready and well she forgot to let me know.

I walk back over to her and kiss her on the cheek. She smiles and stretches out. Opening her eyes, I tell her of our predicament. She grabs the pillow and places it on her head.

"Why, it is too early," she cries out, frustrated.

"You want me to get rid of her?" I say.

She removes the pillow and looks at me smiling. I tell her to give me a minute and walk over to the door.

I open the door in my undershorts. Effie looks at me with her mouth open.

"I am sorry Effie, we must have slept in, give us a couple of minutes to get ready? Katniss right now is a little um indisposed." I say.

Yelling from inside the room, Katniss says that she is having a hard time trying to find her clothes, and if I had seen them. I give out an uneasy laugh and ask to be excused, as I closed the door

Walking back I see that she is almost dress and just wanted to embarrass Effie. She is lacing her shoes when she looks up.

"I wish I could have seen her face," she says holding back the laughter.

"Um, my shirt please?" I say.

"I thought you said that it looked better on me," she says standing and looking at herself in the mirror.

Walking behind her I grab her by the waist.

"So am I to walk around District Four without a shirt?" I ask.

She sits down and thinks about it for a minute, and then finally lets out a laugh saying that Effie would die of the embarrassment, which of course would be true. She relents and takes off the shirt handing it to me.

"This look doesn't look that bad either," I say laughing.

She blushes and quickly puts on her blouse, getting ready after that takes only a couple of minutes which of course in Effie Trinket's world is more like hours.

Opening the door we walk out laughing, holding each other's hand.

"Well breakfast with the new Mayor is out," she says.

"We have to stop by my mothers'," She says. "I promised her that I would stop by before we left."

She shuffles through the papers and finally relents.

"Might as well seeing how we now have a vacancy in our schedule," Effie says.

We walked towards Katniss mother's house. It is early morning and only the fishermen are up and walking with their nets towards the pier. The salty air makes it feel all muggy and warmer than usual. Haymitch of course is not with Effie, and we all know the reason why he has to sleep late.

When you think about it, it really is a double standard. Haymitch is a victor just like we are, but because of his age and ours he has no responsibility and we do. We had to face the same atrocities that he did and yet we have to do it sober. The only thing getting me through this is holding onto my hand right now.

She walks unsure of course because of where we are going, the intense conversation that we had yesterday probably still fresh in here mind.

Once we are in front of her house, I knock this time and wait for her to open the door. The door opens and there is Katniss's mother, standing there with her briefcase in hand. She tells us that the hospital called her in early, and that she is sorry to have to cut this little visit short.

I of course don't mind, and I know Katniss doesn't either. As we walk to the main road with her mother she looks at us and smiles.

"You know, I was just about your age when I got pregnant with you," she says looking at Katniss.

That is the second time in two days that someone has mentioned children to Katniss. While it is true that I would love to have children, I know that Katniss has her reservations.

"Well we have decided to wait and enjoy just being with each other," she says squeezing my hand.

"Oh, yes, we want to enjoy and remember everything," I say, stammering after being place on the spot.

We reach the main road and she comes hugs each of us. She walks over and fixes my collar, and helps tuck in Katniss's blouse.

"Well I will be waiting for the phone call about the date, and don't wait too long," she says smiling and waving as she walks towards the hospital.

When a couple minutes pass, we hear Annie calling us from the distance. She is walking of course with little Liam, and we wait for them to catch up to us.

"Hey little man, want a trip on the top floor?" I tell Liam.

He lifts up his hands and I grab him placing him onto my shoulders. I can still remember how my father use to do that when I was his age and how much it both terrified me and excited me. Being so high I could see farther but looking down and the fear of falling kept me holding onto him even tighter.

"Hi, Annie, you here to see us off?" I ask.

"Actually going to town to get some supplies but it is right along the way," she says.

"Well we wanted to invite you to be part of our wedding celebration, do you think you could make it," I ask.

"We of course, when do you plan to actually have it?" She asks.

Looking back I can see Effie taking out her clip board to make some sort of notation. Although Effie is sure to be invited, I don't think that inviting the whole country of Panem is what she would want.

"Well honestly we don't know that part yet," I say.

"Peeta, didn't we decide..." Katniss starts to say before I squeeze her hand. She looks at me and nods.

"I am sorry Annie, we have so many different dates that we have to narrow it down soon," Katniss finishes.

It isn't the hunting glances that she and Gale have but it seems that we have come up with our own little mode of communication.

"Let us know, so that we can come," Annie responds.

"We surely will," I say pulling off Liam off my shoulders.

They wave at us as we continue to walk towards the Justice Building.

She leans in and kisses me on the cheek. As she pulls away she whispers "you will have to tell me what that was all about."

"Effie!" I say. "What is on the schedule for today?"

Katniss looks back to Effie Trinket who is shuffling through the papers.

"Well we can still make the brunch that was the backup to the breakfast we missed," she says.

We both nod and ask if we have time to freshen up. She looks at her watch and says she can squeeze a couple of minutes. We both thank Effie for being patience with us.

We have breakfast with the new Mayor of District Four. He is a pleasant older gentleman, and we talk about the rebuilding process and the expected visit by President Paylor.

Upon finishing we find Haymitch there sitting on the steps of the train station, still as grumpy as ever. He asks us what took us so long and finally the train arrives and we get on. Finally in our room, Katniss gives a big sigh of relief.

"So, still think the end of the harvest festival as good time for the ceremony?" I ask.

"Yes, best way to change a painful memory is to replace it with a happy one," she says. "Well that is what a very smart and sweet person once said."

I smile, remembering that was what I told her once about the treatment that Doctor Aurellis had prescribed.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

The harvest festival use to be the happiest moments in the districts. It is when all the districts would have these celebrations because of the crops of each district. In District Twelve our bakery would take all the new breads and pastries for the celebration that happened in the Square. Everyone from the Seam and the Merchant city would gather in the Square and share in each of crops and textiles of the district.

Last year, however the harvest festival was interrupted by the announcement of the Quarter Quell. That day, the pastries weren't as much as last year and it was understood by the people of the district. The greatest thing is that, there will never be another Quarter Quell, and all we can look forward to is a celebration of District Twelve.

She sleeps there exhausted from the last couple of days. Grabbing the nearby sketch pad, I begin to sketch her there sleeping. The lights from the window moves too fast to get it just right, so I start to picture what it would look like in her room in the middle of the autumn season.

Her hands drape over her chest and the strands of hair covers her eyes. This time around I sketch the hair just as it falls, gently touching her forehead and over her eye brow. Her lips a soft rose color that looks to be sweet to the touch. It curves almost into a smile that leads me to believe that she is dreaming of something happy.

Her hands are slender and yet well defined. I can still see the scare on her forearm from the cut of the knife that Johanna Mason did in order to remove the tracker. You can still see the jagged cut of the blade, the memory of that night, seeing it on the television screen.

I see her fingertips, the bow string has made the tips calloused. There still as soft as I had ever felt and yet I can see the hunter in her. The sheet covers one of her leg and the other one just sticks out. Her olive color skin, combined with the sun light gives it a gold color, almost like the precious stone.

At the very end, I see her toes. Her high arches due to the boots and the constant hiking in the woods. The toes are perfect, probably haven't changed since she was born. I wonder how she looked when she was born, did she have the same cute smile, or the same toes.

My mind starts to wonder if I would be a good husband to her. Did I learn enough from my father on what the right thing to do is? It is weighs on my mind, enough to get me to stop the sketch.

The sketch is halfway done, with her face clearly defined and everything else blurred. Looking at it, it is how sometimes I feel when I am unable to clearly focus on a memory.

Will she be happy with me? The life of a baker's wife, is that something that she will be satisfied with? Was I even satisfied with the life of a baker always wishing to be outside the fence? I still remember the times I would spend just sitting on that tree looking at how wonderful life could be on the outside.

That is the thing about the Games; once you have tasted life outside District Twelve you can't help but wish to be back home. Thinking about it, we have been away for almost a week and I can't wait to be back in our District. I wonder though does she feel the same way I do?

After a while my mind quiets down and I close my eyes and rest. The birds singing are all I dream about. Being in the Games that day and hearing the birds intertwine the four letter notes in with each other. The way it just crescendos one on top of another, that is until the mutts jumped on the plain.

Running for our lives being chased by the muttations of the Capitol, it turns this beautiful dream into a nightmare. It is a nightmare that has lately been a persistent one these last couple of days. Yelling at her to run, seeing her make it to the Cornucopia.

It is just as I am about to make it to the horn when I feel a jolt and can see her shaking me.

"Peeta, it is okay, you were having a nightmare," She says.

"We were back in the Games," I say. "Being chased by mutts headed for the Cornucopia."

"Sssh, it was all a bad dream," she says.

She holds me in her arms and finally when I realize that I am on the train everything calms down. I feel her hands massaging my back. I feel her ear pressed on my chest, probably listening to my heart beat. She is sitting on my lap in the chair, finally looking up, I kiss her on her lips can feel her arms just release from tension.

Placing my arms underneath her knees and around her back, I pick her up and carry her to the bed where I gently place her there.

She holds my hand and pulls me to lie down with her. We both smile and I feel at peace with her. She runs her hands through my hair, and messes it up.

"Always wanted to do that," she says laughing. "Your hair always looked perfect in the videos."

"Well there is something that I had always wanted to do," I say. "Well actually two things."

She tells me go right ahead, so I look for her belly button and just as she thinks that I am going to kiss it, I blow a raspberry kiss with my mouth, which causes her to immediately start to laugh.

"Peeta," she exclaims. "You are such a little kid."

I laugh and said that the first night on the train I thought she was too serious.

"Well we were going to the Capitol to die you know," she says still laughing.

"Well we were going to either live or die, nothing going to change that, so why be so serious about it," I say.

"So you wanted to make me laugh," she says.

I nod and tell her that life is too short to go through it all serious. As long as we have each other what does it matter where we are?

"I am scared to ask what the second one is," she says.

"Come here, let me show you," I say but she is still standing against the wall.

She nods no, "no tickling okay?"

"I promise, no tickling," I say. Stretching out my hand, she reaches for mines and grabs it. Pulling her back on the bed, she lies down.

"Okay, ready?" I say.

She nods no, but doesn't stop me. I lean in and place my ear on her chest. I just lie there and finally hear.

Bump...bump...bump...bump.

"Wanted to hear your heart beat," I say. "Always wanted to do that."

She tells me that I could do that any time I wanted to, but the other one she says that I would have to sneak it again.

"How do you do it?" I ask. "How do you keep your heart beat so steady? Whenever I am around you, I feel like I can't control my heart from racing."

She looks and smile like she always does and then says.

"I take deep breathes, and keep myself from thinking about it," she says.

"You're lying," I say."No, I am serious; sometimes I think why you are with me?" She says.

From the tone in her voice, I think she may be saying the truth. Can it be that this whole time that I have been second guessing myself; she has been doing the same thing?

"You know that it is one thing that I always have to struggle with," I say. "Honestly I don't know why you are here, and I am fearful that you will realize that, and leave."

She looks at me and tells me the same thing. "That one day you will realize that I am not that special and that I am not the girl you put me up to be."

There in the train we realized that we were each struggling to try and live up to the others expectations and we both realized that it was exhausting trying to catch the ghost of ourselves.

"I love it that you are not perfect and that you have things," I say. "It is like my father would always say that we make each other stronger than what we are by ourselves."

She takes a sigh of relief and says that let's just be ourselves, not the ones from the cameras.

"You there was an old blind man back in District Twelve that asked me a question," I say. "It was when we were training to be Victors in the Quarter Quell, do you remember that?"

"Yeah, you were not the most pleasant back then," she says as a matter of fact.

"Really," I say surprised. "Well I am sorry about that, just wanted to push us three to be the best. Anyways there was an old man that asked me a question; he said 'what makes her beautiful.'"

Before she can respond I do what the old man did to me. I asked her to close her eyes.

"He made me close my eyes and describe something that doesn't have an end, like physical beauty, and to tell him why I thought you are beautiful," I say.

"So what did you say?" She says.

"Well I said that the way you bite your lip when you are nervous, or the way you would stand up for what is right even if it is not beneficial to you. Or the way you laugh when you tie a memory to one with your father, like you did when we were in ocean of District Four the first time, and you were thinking of the time your father taught you to swim." I say.

She opens her eyes and blushes.

"I don't say this to make you blush, but to show you that my feelings are not tied to what you are today, but who you have always been." I say holding her hand. "It won't change tomorrow or next month or next year, I don't think it would ever change."

"I love how you double tie your shoe laces so that you won't fall," she begins. "How you rub your hands when you are nervous, or how you curl your lips when you are sketching and trying hard to get it just right."

Looking at her I can tell that she is also looking at me with her eyes closed.

"You hungry?" I ask.

"Starving," she says.

Standing, I change my shirt and get freshen up. Turning around I let her have the same privacy. She laughs, walks over to me and kisses me for being so innocent and sweet.

"We have seen each other with a lot of clothes in the winter, and also with um no clothes, and that was just yesterday, so I think we can get changed in front of each other," she says.

"I know," I say. "I was peeking through my fingers."

She places her hair in a single braid and places on one of my t-shirts, and her pants. She finds a pair of flip flops and walks out.

"You know, did I tell you that my t-shirts look better on you?" I say. "Although don't think Cinna would approve of this outfit."

She looks at me and I can still see the hurt is still there. I don't think she ever saw the video of their execution.

"I am sorry, Katniss, I know much he meant to you," I say.

"It still hurts to think that I will never see him again," she says. "But I know that he would approve of anything that I would wear."

She sticks out her tongue at me and I know that she is masking her pain with laughter.

"Well come on, let's make a fashion statement," I say grabbing her hand and walking out to the hallway with her. Walking into the dining car we find both Haymitch and Effie waiting for lunch to be served.

We sit down and no one is actually talking, until we make the attempt.

"So we wanted to ask you both a question," Katniss says.

I look at her and mouth the words 'are you sure,' which she just smiles and nods.

"At the end of the Harvest Festival, we wanted to plan the ceremony and wanted to invite both of you to come," she says.

Effie's grin could not get any wider, which I don't know if she is happy because we are getting married, or because there is a party that she is invited to.

"How wonderful, probably Haymitch can give you away," she says scribbling on her nearby note pad.

"That is exactly what I want to do, give her away because she has been a headache to me so far," says Haymitch.

Katniss sneers at him, "like you have been such a delight to work with."

"What? I have been great to work with, especially with what I had to work with," says Haymitch. "But can count on me, as long as there is liquor."

"Don't mind him, Katniss, the end of the Harvest Festival, is not enough time to plan a wedding, that is only a couple of months," Effie says.

"Well we want a small wedding," I say.

"Peeta, a wedding should be extravagant, and tells the story of the courtship," she says. "Your courtship was a public one, so don't you think that it shouldn't be public?"

Just the thought of having cameras and the people from the Capitol flooding into our district, it is just too much to handle. We want the people, who have been emotionally involved with us to be invited, but this is our moment, and it is a private one.

"Effie, while we can agree that our courtship was public, our lives we want to keep private," I say. "There has been so much taken from us, and we want to keep this for us."

There is a discussion that Effie cannot understand on what was taken from us. She understands that what the old Capitol did was wrong, but she says that there are many people who care about us and would like to be a part of our special day.

I can feel that we are getting nowhere fast. Finally I can feel her hand on mines, and through the touch I can tell two things, that she is saying thank you for trying, and to let her speak about it.

"Effie how about a compromise," says Katniss. "Two cameras and one interview."

She nods but still thinks that the time frame is too soon to plan it. After thinking about it for a little bit, she says that she will need help and that she knows the perfect people to help her.

"Just leave it up to me," she says. "We do have to talk about what the rebuilding process. The President is due to arrive in District Twelve to see how the rebuilding process is coming along."

"When we were last in District Twelve, the Capitol hadn't even come to begin," I say.

"Well in the week that you had been away, the machinery had already begun to remove the old Justice Building, and train station. That would be the first buildings to be rebuilt, then all the rest," Effie says.

The food arrives and we eat, while talking about what the rebuilding process brings and how the progress is televised by the coming of President Paylor. District Twelve's visit is last on the President's agenda, because they want to make the event with Panem's star crossed lovers.

The train begins to slow down and we are told that we are going to be refueling. We take this time to think about what we just were told.

Walking next to the train, I can feel her apprehension.

"Katniss, I am sorry, I tried," I say.

"I know," she says kissing me on the cheek. "Probably it won't be that bad. At least I have you."

"It is almost over, I know that after the rebuilt, and the Harvest Festival, everything will die down like it was before, when it was just me and you," I say.

She is hopeful that it would go back to the way it was before, when all we had to worry about is buttercup eating our food. Laughing she wonders how buttercup is surviving without us.

"Think that old cat, will be just fine," I tell her.

"Which reminds me, we have to see about getting that dog you have always wanted," she says.

"That is right, but first we have to decide something," I say.

She stops and looks at me unsure of what I could mean.

"Well do you think, I should move into your house or you into mines?" I ask. "I mean if you want."

She stops and looks at me.

"If you want, and are not tired of me," she says.

"I could never be tired of you," I say. "Every day I learn something new about you."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

We sit on a rock and just enjoy being just together. It has been a lot of ups and downs, but this Girl from the Seam, I just love. The way she is so sweet, that she would love to experience life with me.

"We have all of our lives together to get to know each other," I say. "I am still waiting for you to finish telling me about yourself."

She laughs and tells me that she isn't that special. Looking at her, the way she laughs or the way the sunlight catches her eyes.

"Don't you know that you are special to me?" I say. "Whatever you do, whatever you say, you will always be special to me."

"Well if that is the case, then it goes the same for me," she says. "I hate the pointy shoes that they would make me wear with the dresses of the Capitol."

"I love those sandals that you wore that day with the soft yellow dress," I say.

"Really?" She says. "That is actually one of my favorites. Those are very comfortable."

She tells me that she likes it when I wear pants with suspenders with a button down shirt rolled up.

"It brings out your worker side," she says. "Not a lot of people know that you were just like us working or doing what you knew to make sure that your family lives."

There was a time when she did not believe that. Like many people back in District Twelve, they believed that the merchant families were well off family with no need of anything. It came as surprise to her that most of the things that we ate were day old breads and meat and that we depended on the hunters for fresh meat.

"Well I will make a note to wear it, because you like it," I say.

In the distance I see the train attendant waving us in. I stand and help her off the rock. We walk happy and knowing that right now it is just us, no one else. Getting on the train, Effie stops us and asks to speak to us.

"Speaking with Plutarch, he would like to amend the number of interviews to include a retrospective of our whole courtship with other interviews with other people," Effie says. "A sort of special of the star cross lovers, he says that the whole story would be great."

"Great for ratings," I add. "I would like to speak with Katniss privately about this and will get back with you in two days via telephone on what she and I have decided."

Katniss says the same and that she can relay this to Plutarch before he starts making plans.

"I will let him know, he was very excited on the prospect of telling your love story," she says.

There are some things that I wouldn't want people to know, things that still hurt. I know that Katniss feels the same way, her face fighting the raw emotions of what we just went through with her mother.

Walking back we are told that we are about four hours until we reach District Twelve. In only four hours we will be home. The thing that I think of has to be the fact that she came back to District Twelve for me, because she doesn't have any family left there, just houses and broken promises.

I pack our things back in the bag, and she just sits and picks up the sketch book that it seems to have fallen to the floor. She looks at the sketch that I had made of her while she was sleeping.

"It isn't finished," I say. "Couldn't get the light right, it was frustrating."

"It is quite good, although they seem to be all of me," she says. "One might think you have a crush on me."

"You think?" I say.

There is a knock on the door. At the door stands a drunk Haymitch.

"Going to take a little nap before we get to District Twelve," he says.

We both look at each other confused about why the statement. He has never had to let us know that he was going to sleep, almost like he is asking for permission.

"Okay," I say.

"Haymitch this isn't your room, yours is next door," Katniss says.

"Exactly sweetheart," he says. "If you two can control yourselves until we get back to District Twelve, it would be nice. You know I understand you two are married but these walls aren't sound proof you know."

There is no need to look at Katniss to know that she has to be bright red from embarrassment.

"Thank you for the advice, we will try to keep it down," I say.

The door closes and turning around I see Katniss hiding under the covers, obviously ashamed. Walking over to her, I go under the covers.

"Can anyone come in, or is there a password," I say.

"Can you believe that old man," she says. "Always says the perfect thing at the perfect time."

"Don't listen to him," I say. "He just wants to get underneath your skin. Well two can play that game."

Standing up I walk over to the wall. She takes off the covers and watches me begin to bang on the wall loudly. She smiles and walks over to me helping me make as much noise against the wall that we share with Haymitch.

After about ten minutes or so, we hear him yell for us to stop. We sit there and start to laugh loudly at the fact that Haymitch is probably cursing our names right about now. I grab her hand and quickly run out of our room and take her to the sitting room. We peek out to the hallway, and see him walk out upset, beginning to bang on the door.

We snicker there until we see him walking down the hallway. We sit there on the sofa we pretending to be looking outside the window. Looking at him, he looks all flustered.

"Can't sleep?" Katniss says.

"Good thing that we are almost home, so that I won't have to babysitting any longer," says Haymitch confused and agitated.

We contain our laughter until we see him go back to his room. Once the door closes, we let out our laughter.

"Going to miss messing around with Haymitch," says Katniss.

"Well who says we have to stop," I say. "Just have to be careful, as he does still have a knife."

Katniss rolls her eyes, as she can still remember training with Haymitch before the Quarter Quell. He is still a strong person but his reflexes have slowed down with age, and addiction.

"Well remember that is how he won," I say. "He is always playing on the weakness of the other tributes."

"Which reminds me, we have to invite Johanna Mason to the wedding," says Katniss.

Johanna Mason used the same thought process that Haymitch used in the Games. It was all about the mind games. She was always able to get into Kantiss's head, always knew how to push her buttons. She was the one that was with me that day in the Quell, when they tried to take us. It did take about ten of the Capitol's strongest soldiers to bring her down.

"Johanna Mason, in a dress," I say laughing. "Now that I will pay to see."

Katniss asks Effie if she knew where Johanna Mason was. She doesn't really know but that she will find out.

"If there was ever a person that I would want on my side would be her," I say. "That day in the Quarter Quell, it took at least ten Capitol guards to take her down. Even when they started to torture us, she was the one who they couldn't break by psychological torture, not like other people."

I lower my head and remember that moment when finally broke me. I held out for as long as I could, until finally it was easier just to give in.

I feel her hand lifting my head.

"You held out as long as you could," says Katniss.

"They physically tortured her, until she just retreated into her own mind. Everything after that didn't matter to her, what they did," I continue.

Katniss tells me about how she hated the water after they rescued her from the Detention Center.

"They tortured her with the electricity and water," I say. "It was the only they could inflict damage, by taking something she loved and replace it with pain."

"I am sorry, Peeta, I shouldn't have asked," says Katniss. "I can see how it causes you pain."

"It is okay, it helps me, when I talk about it," I say.

An attendant walks in and tells us that we are approaching District Twelve. Both of us smile, as we cannot wait to finally be alone, at least for a little while. She runs ahead of me to the room and starts to stuff the clothes in the bag, excited just as I am to get home.

The train begins to slow down and we walk towards the door. We can see the train station and the door finally slides open. District Twelve looks so different from the last time we were there.

Grabbing the bags I sling them over my shoulder. She grabs my hand as we walk down the road. The Square has already started to be rebuilt, the seamstress, the butcher, the flower shop, the blacksmith, even the bakery's foundation is being poured.

We walk to the site, and can see that they were waiting for me to put up the walls and the design of how everything is going to place. Looking around, there is no more ash in the air, and the grass has started to grow again.

"They are waiting for you," she says. "Your father would be so proud."

"Do you think?" I say.

She kisses me on the cheek and pulls me along. We walk and the little old lady that told me to bring Katniss back is walking with heavy pales of water. I walk over to her offering to help.

"May I help you with this?" I ask.

She looks up and smiles.

"Did you bring her back with you?" She asks.

I point at her.

"Yes he brought me back with him," Katniss says grabbing one pale of water while I grab the other. We walk with her to her house. Getting to her house she offers something to eat. We politely decline saying that we haven't been home in almost two weeks.

"You know this little boy, loves you very much," she says to Katniss.

I can feel my face turn red from the obviousness of the statement.

"Yes I know he does, it was me that wasn't paying attention," says Katniss.

"Well good thing that are now paying attention," she says.

She laughs and looks at me. Smiling I kiss her on the nose, and she just giggles. Unsure of the little codes that we are saying to each other, the little old lady just smiles and asks if we are going to be preparing for the harvest festival.

"Of course," I say. "Wouldn't be a festival without pastries."

We say our goodbyes and walk back on the road.

"That is another thing that I love about you," she says.

"Hmm?" I say.

"That your instincts were to help her. Did you even see it was the little old lady from the last time we were here?" she says.

"No, but I saw someone who needed help, and I don't know it just in me to help her," I say.

She pokes me, and looks at me funny. I start to laugh, and look at her.

"Yes I am real," I say. "Are you?"

I start to tickle her which causes her to run from me. Running after her, I notice that she is still very much quick. After a couple minutes of not being able to catch her, she stops and asks if I am tired.

"Well I am still carrying the bags. You know they are not exactly light either," I say in between breathes.

"Well whose fault is that?" she says from a distance. "We have to get you back in shape."

Katniss has always been in shape, her live depended on it. Hunting in the forest, the difference between getting out alive is if you can outrun the predator. I wonder if I was a little bit in better shape if I could have out run those wild dogs that day in the forest.

"Okay, I give," I say.

Walking towards her, I can see that she is smiling. We are back in our own little world, and everyone else is just living around it.

She holds out her hand, which I welcome every time. We walk towards the Victors Village, and find that there in the distance is our house.

Our house.

It is the first time that it comes to mind that it is ours. The little house has three bedrooms and two and a half baths. It is a good sturdy house but filled with both happy and sad memories.

The primroses are blooming when we walk up the porch. She opens the door, and I pull on her hand. She turns around to see me, when I kiss her. I bring my arm around her waist. She drops my hand and places both arms around my neck. With my other arm I lift her up in my arms and carry her across the threshold.

"Welcome home," she says.

This is our home, well until we get the other one by the lake built. That would be an interesting adventure as I have no idea how to build a home.

Looking at her there in my arms, my heart is overwhelmed with love. There are times when I cannot say what I am feeling because there are no words to describe it.

"You know you are like a sunrise," I say.

"Really?" She says.

"Well it something that I love to see every morning," I say. "It is never the same."

"Isn't it the same sun coming out in the same east direction?" She says.

"Well that is true, but see where you experience it, completely different than where you were the day before," I explain. "If I were to mark a place to watch it every day. The way I see it, the way I feel about it at that moment is different. It is the same way that you are. Like you are the same as yesterday but the way I experience you, the way I feel about you is completely different."

"Well let's sit and enjoy each other," says Katniss.

We sit down and just take it all in, all that has happened in the last week, being in the hospital again, being taken to the President's home, then District Twelve.

"What are you thinking about," she says.

"Just thinking about the fact that you are now my wife," I say. "I think that I maybe the luckiest man."

"Isn't it just the craziest thing," she says. "I know you have thought of it before seeing how you had the paperwork before."

"Well I was hoping to as you when got back, but you beat me to it," she says. "Like the other thing that we haven't talked about, but that I know you have thought of."

We are beginning to notice each other cues. She knew that although we had never talked about it, that I would be thinking about it.

"Well I have thought of it, haven't you," I ask.

"No, not until Annie mentioned it," she says.

"Well I will wait," I say.

There is a hesitation in her voice and the way she is rubbing her hands you can tell she is nervous. I grab her hands and she looks in my eyes.

"I don't know if I would want to...you know," she says.

"Ever?" I say.

"Would it be so bad," she says.

It is something that would both give me joy forever and scare me halftime death. To see the imagination in their eyes, their dreams come true would be something amazing. However what if the advice I give them is the wrong one, or what if I am not ready?

Looking at her with eyes seeking from an answer, all I can think about is something that I want to forget.

I feel it inside of me the pain and the lost. The shaking is evident and the breathing shallows. I stand and walk over to the windows. I can barely hear her, all sounds begin to fade.

The alarms quickly bring my mind to focus and I see that there are bombs exploding over head. It is the same dream; it is the same horrible dream. I see a child running for her mother. In a second I look up and see someone, a soldier, take aim.

I am running as fast as I can as I know what is going to happen. I yell out to take cover but I could not make it. I hear the shot, and see the child falls to the ground. I see Katniss in a hooded jacket, covering her face. Everything is chaos and I hear people screaming and crying, gun fire in the distance. I see Katniss and my child dying. Around the child's neck something catches my sight, it is a locket. I see her hand grasping it, not wanting to let it go.

She looks down and scoops up her child on her lap. She holds the child caressing her, and moving her hair away from her face. She is crying uncontrollably. She rocks her, and starts to sing through the tears. You could barely hear the song, but it is a soft lullaby. She is remembering the death of Rue.

"Your daddy is coming, just you wait. You will be okay." She whispers.

She closes her eyes, and she holds her in her arms. She lays her and kisses her on her forehead.

"Sleep now and we will see each other again someday." She says.

I fall to my knees. Clutch my hands to my face.

I open my eyes and just stare at the ceiling, at the wooden boards. Feeling my head feels like I have lived my life through Haymitch's eyes and now suffering a massive hangover. My whole body is weak and my throat is sore. Looking around I don't see her.

"Katniss," I hoarsely call out.

I wait to listen to a reply.

"Katniss," I try to say again.

Finally a rustling coming from inside the room and I hear her coming near me.

"Peeta, hey, hey, are you okay?" She says.

"What happened?" I ask.

"We were talking about having children, and you started to have one of your episodes. But before I could get to you, you passed out on the floor."

She starts to tear up. I wipe the tears away from her face.

"You can't keep doing this," she says. "When I called Doctor Aurellis, he said that most of the triggers are traumatic memories. The reason why passed out was because it was a failsafe to stop you from turning completely..."

"From going mutt..." I finish.

"What was so bad that you couldn't tell me?" She asks.

"It is hard to even say it," my voice starts to break. The tears begin to flood to my face and the tears flow.

I have made a mistake. Why would I believe that I would ever have a normal life with her? I am hurting her every time I go through this.

"You deserve better than this," I say. "I am broken and you don't deserve to have to go through this every time, because I don't know if or when I will have another episode. It isn't fair to you."

I start to get up and she grabs me.

"You promise you wouldn't leave me," she says.

"I don't know how can I stay? Can you live like this, with me like this?" I say.

"I chose you, Peeta for better or worst. We will get through this," she says. "Please...stay."

I nod and she holds me while I break in her arms. This is not a live someone should have to be in. This is not a life for children to have to go through.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

To find someone who has seen you at your worst and still wants to be with you is like finding a pearl in the Quarter Quell. I feel her arms around me, holding me together. It is something that I have never really understood how in her arms I can feel safe. The dark room is the place where I finally open up to her.

"Peeta, tell me what happened," she says.

Separating from her, she wipes the tears from my face.

"Please, I want to help you," she pleads.

"Well it was that day in the war, where all the children were killed in District Eight, because of the train derailment," I start. "That day they wanted me to get on camera and try to get you to stop the war."

It was that day that everything changed.

"All those children died," I say, tears flowing. "The nightmare was something that haunts me until this day. Katniss, our child died in my dreams. Shot because I wasn't there. And I know that it wasn't real, but to see our child shot, it was too much to bear."

I see a tear flow from her eyes. She finally realizes that the death of our child would destroy me. I stand and walk, unsure on how approach this.

"Katniss, there would nothing more that I would love than to have children of our own, it would be my greatest joy aside from marrying you, but it would be my greatest fear." I say. "That thought is what causes me to have an inner battle between my desires and fears."

She stands and looks at me.

"I understand," she says. "But Peeta, I want you to realize that you would make an excellent father, I know you would. Just the fact that your fear is that you wouldn't be there shows me that you would always be there."

The thought that she might be right gives me some sort of hope. That my strongest desire if we did have children would be that I would always be there for them, and they would always be loved.

"You really think so," I say.

"Hmm, hmm" she says lifting a hand to my cheek. "You are such a sweet person, that I know you would love them forever."

I kiss her hand and look at her, trying to console me. She is trying to give me the hope that I had lost that day.

"I think you would be a great mom," I say.

"No," she says. "But thank you for saying so."

"Katniss, I am serious. I know it would be only empty to say all the good things about how you would be a great mother because of how you just told me, but your instincts are very maternal."

"Peeta," she says. "It is still very hard for me to accept that I have failed Prim, and Rue. I...I...couldn't save them."

"Katniss, it wasn't your fault," I say.

"She isn't here because I had to be the hero, and satisfy my need for revenge," she says. "I didn't want to have children because of the pain that I saw in the eyes of parents seeing their children being killed in the Games."

I understand her thought, because of the worry I saw in the eyes of my father every year. The tired look that took out the youth from his face, from then countless sleepless nights, his face, his strained smile masking the pain of his nightmare coming to life that day when I was chosen for the Games is still something that I can remember.

"But now that I have gotten to know you, and seen how tender and how sweet you truly are," she continues. "I want to be able to give you that joy that I know you would have with our children, but I... I... just can't right now. Can you understand?"

"Yes, I can," I say. "Can you live your life with someone who is constantly a ticking bomb that I don't know when the next episode will happen?"

"I promised to be with you no matter what," she says.

"Just like I promised to never leave you," I say.

This whole marriage thing is a lot more difficult than I had imagined. I have noticed that for it to work we have to have full disclosure, no secrets, so their wouldn't be any doubts.

"Come here," I say. She walks into my arms and we hold each other, grieving for children that are not our own. "Let's just promise each other to be happy, open, and always there for each other. If we are ever ready to have children of our own or not, let's just be happy with each other, and always open for each other's weaknesses."

"That sounds good to me," she says.

"Still want to get married with a broken man," I say.

"Only if still want to get married with a broken woman," she says.

We both agree and walk downstairs to eat dinner. I hear someone downstairs and find Sae cooking dinner. With her is an adorable little girl that is chasing Buttercup through the living room. Sae of course is telling the little girl to stop chasing and to do her homework.

"Well hello there," I say to the little girl. "What is your name?"

The little girl looks up and runs behind Sae. Sae turns around and welcomes us back. She tells us that Katniss's mother had sent word on when we would be coming back, so that she would be prepared for us.

"Food won't be ready for a while," Sae says.

Just then I remember of the swing set by the old school. It was near the Square, and could be what we would need to clear our heads.

"April says hello to Grandma's friends, Katniss and Peeta," Saw tells the little girl.

She couldn't be no more than five years old. Dark brown hair and olive color skin, she has that same determined look in her eyes which are a light hazel color.

She peeks from around her Grandmothers dress. Finally with a gentle push from Sae she comes out from behind her.

"You have funny names," she says.

We both let out a chuckle.

"You know what, I never noticed that," I say. "But I think you have a very pretty name."

"Thank you, it is my mommy's name," she says.

"Sae what are your thoughts if we take April here to the park near the old school," I ask.

"Ask her, for me it would help quicken the food preparation," says Sae.

I bend down to one knee.

"What do you says April, want to join us?" I say. "I was going to push my wife here on the swings, but I don't think she is the jealous type if I push you on the swings as well."

"Nana, what does gel-us mean?" She tries to pronounce.

Katniss laughs and picks up April.

"Means that this old man here is scared that you will take him away from me," she says.

She looks confused.

"Take him where? I thought we were both going to the swings?" She says.

Sae gives up and tell us to just go and to be on our best behavior. When we wait for April to respond, she says that she was talking to us.

We start to walk, and April holds both of our hands. Katniss looks at me and then down. We don't have to say a word to know that the one thing that we were broken about and the first thing I do is take a five year old to play on the swings.

"Sorry, not exactly helping you," I say.

She nods her head, but smiles. The pace is slower when you are walking with a five year old. It reminds me of the times we would walk, just me and my father.

Her little hand grabs three of my fingers and as she walks she begins to sing.

The carefree mentality of a child, these children will never be subjected to the Hunger Games, never know what it is like to fight for their lives, the only thing that they will have to worry about is to find someone to love them.

Once we pass the Square we see Thom.

"Hey Peeta, when did you get back?" Thom asks.

"Yesterday, I think," I say being tugged by both April and Katniss.

"So sorry Thom, April really wants to get to the swings," says Katniss.

He understands and asks for a day to catch up. From a distance we decide on dinner two days from today.

"Hope that is alright," I ask Katniss.

"It is okay, I have known Thom from Gale. He is a nice guy," says Katniss.

"He is," I say. "He was the first one to help when we were clearing the rubble from the Square."

Finally getting to the old school, you can see that the Capitol did not touch the school. The school however being as old as the previous Justice Building is currently under renovations.

The old swing set is near the tree where Katniss would sit and eat lunch. Amazingly enough the end chimes are still there hanging. The whole scene is almost like going back in time before everything.

There are swings on metal chains. We place April in one swing and Katniss in the other. It is funny to see how April's feet don't even touch the ground but hang freely.

"Push, Peeta, push," little April says.

Katniss laughs and smiles as I push April and run to push Katniss. It is all very tiring as Katniss and April fight to see who can get higher.

I have to hold Katniss's swing and remind her to let April win, which of course is returned by a tongue sticking out at me.

"Very mature," I tell her laughing.

"I wanted to win," she says in between the pushes.

"Well you can win next time when it is just you and me," I say.

"Is this where you will take me for our third date?" she says.

"Is it our second date?" I ask.

"Well all of the trips that the Capitol took us don't count," she says.

"So where was our first?" I ask.

"You took me for a walk to the willow tree in the meadow," she says.

"So we are married but still going on dates?" I say.

"Looks like," she says.

It is almost an hour of pushing the swings when we tell April that it is time for dinner and that we have to walk back. Like all five year holds she doesn't understand why, and wants to stay.

Katniss whispers something in her ear and she nods and agrees that it is time to go. She gives Katniss her pinky and they latch on by the pinky.

We start to walk back and we find that little April thinks that our arms are swings as she swings back and forth. This little five year old is a heavy one and one might even think that she has lead shoes. That or I might be a little tired or maybe even a little bit out of shape.

"What does Sae feed you, lead?" I ask April.

"My Nana feeds me cows, pigs, chickens, and other things that she calls special," she says.

We just laugh every time April swings on our hands.

"So what did you whisper to her to get her to come with us?" I say.

"It is a secret," says Katniss with a mischievous smile.

Sae tells us that the food is ready.

"Please join us," Katniss says. "I promised something to April at the end of the meal.

"Well if you promised it, then we have to stay won't we April?" Says Sae.

"Yes Nana, a promise cannot be broken," she says.

"That is right, we learned that didn't we?" Says Sae.

The food is enough for all four of us as Sae always makes more than one meal. We always have enough for two even three meals sometimes. It is always very hearty meals too, as we are always doing physical activities and food keeps our strengths up. It is delicious and very satisfying.

At the end of the meal, April looks at Katniss and asks if she will teach her now?

Katniss stands and takes little April's hand walking her to the living room.

"Would you two please follow us to the living room," says Katniss. "April and myself would like to show you both something."

We follow and she tells us to sit on the sofa, which we do.

She takes April to the bathroom to get ready. We sit there just waiting to see what exactly we both are in store for. After about twenty minutes she comes out hand in hand with April.

They stand in front of us and as she started, I immediately smile and close my eyes to focus. Katniss had taught April the valley song and was singing it with her.

The little girl with the two braids in the red plaid dress is still singing the valley song in my heart. She really never truly left. When I was five she entered my heart and now she is there again. Every day I see her before my eyes, and now I get to feel her heart.

Her voice still is as beautiful as the day that she first sang it in school. It is soft and I honestly can hear everything go silent. Opening my eyes she has to stop laughing because of the words that April was missing.

She looks at me and then; there is when I knew. That she would make a great mother, tender and loving. Her laugh is as genuine as that day in District Four when she was truly happy. It is how I know that the person I am seeing now is the true Katniss.

She was probably remembering how her father taught her the valley song, and that is why she was so happy doing it. At the end, she whispers to April something and then they both take a bow. April smiles and then giggles and covers her mouth.

Sae and I both clap and I ask for an encore which Katniss declines. I could spend all day just hearing her sing. One of my dreams is to hear her sing lullabies to our children, after me reading them bedtime stories. Who knows probably one day I will tell her about these happy dreams, but if I do, how would she react?

Sae, and April leave and we wave them goodbye. As we close the door we go to the kitchen and begin to clean the dishes. She is still humming the valley song.

I get behind her and place my arms around her waist. I kiss her neck, she smells so wonderful, and her body so warm.

"Did I tell you yet how much I love you?"

She looks back at me smiles.

"No, not once today."

Lifting my hands to her stomach she places the plates in the sink and reaches up to meet mines.

"Well I didn't think it possible but I love you more today than I did yesterday and yesterday was with all my heart," I say.

She smiles and tells me that it isn't humanely possible to love someone that much. I know that in my mind that is true, but in my heart is another question, it is like rationale doesn't exist in my heart, only her. She is right now thinking with her mind, and that the most you can love is by giving your life for another.

"And you already did that," she says. "But you know."

She starts to rub her hands and mines on her stomach.

"It might not be a bad thing," says Katniss. "But maybe one day, later. We can build a swing set."

It is the possibility of having children with her; that she is open to it, that causes me to have a renew happiness. It is really just the possibility that I love, right now actually I am happy with just being with her, right here, right now, in this little house, in the Victors Village in District Twelve.

"As long as I have you, I am happy," I say. "We can always build a swing set in the front of this house."

"I kind of like the walks that we have together," she says.

"Me too," I say.

"I have an idea for tomorrow's walk," she says.

She turns and we are there eye to eye in the kitchen. As we both know, we both lean in and kiss. The water running in the background, dishes not clean there on the counter, and it doesn't matter.

"I can't wait to find out where we would go walking tomorrow," I say.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

The day is just about to begin when my eyes open. I feel her hand over my chest and her leg wrapped around my own. There is something new that I love about her, the way she sleeps. Her hair is always as wild as her heart, and yet it always smells so relaxing. She tells me that it is just shampoo, but there is a hint of something that doesn't come from the bottle.

I slowly begin to move her hand from my chest, when I hear moan waking up. She is definitely a light sleeper, I think to myself.

I gently kiss her on her hand, and her eyes open slowly. There is a smile that creeps in on her face, which is something that I love to see every morning.

"I love seeing you smile in the morning, just as I am getting up," I say.

"Hmmm, what time is it?" she says.

"It is early," I say. "Wanted to get started on the breads and pastries for the District."

"Stay a couple more minutes?" says Katniss.

"Okay, only for a couple of minutes," I say.

She closes her eyes, and takes a sigh of relief. I caress her arm that is over my chest, working it over and over with my finger tips. I can tell where the scars is on her forearm, it has become something beautiful like a vine wrapped around a tree. I will always want to see the good from the bad.

Working my hand to her shoulder and down her ribs she flinches, obviously ticklish.

"Hmmm, trying to sleep here," she says annoyed. "No tickling allowed."

"Sorry, was trying to count the number of ribs that you have," I say.

Laughing she says "the same number of ribs that you have."

I lift myself to my knees on the bed. She lifts herself to meet me, placing one finger to her lips as trying to decide something. Taking that one finger, she starts to count them, feeling around the ribs. She counts four ribs on the left and the right. Her hands run through my skin, and traces the burn scars. She smiles as she runs her hands.

"One, two, three, and four," she says. She leans in and kisses each rib, working up kissing where the ribs meet in the center of my chest. I run my hand through her hair, and lift her up to meet my lips.

I run my hands down her bare back and finally to her waist. Lifting her up, I place her on the bed.

Standing, "you are so beautiful and I would love to stay, but I have to go, drop the paper work at the Justice Building for the new bakery."

She pouts and says "you sure you won't stay?"

Standing there looking at her, such a sight to see, beautiful in my eyes, I am perplexed, from what I would love to do and from my responsibilities.

"You are such a tease, but you know my responsibilities," I say.

"I know," she says. "I am just playing with you, which seems to be quite easy."

"You know me so well," I say. "Weren't we supposed to be going somewhere today?"

"Well when you get back we will go," she says.

I give her a kiss on her nose, which causes her to wrinkle it and giggle at the same time. Grabbing a clean t-shirt I place it over my head, the under shorts from the ground and put on my pants and walk downstairs whistling a happy tune.

Grabbing a couple cupcakes trays, cookie sheet trays, and some bread trays, doing this all my life, it doesn't take that long to get some bread, and some cookies. Placing them in the bread bags and cookie bags, I start to work on the cupcakes, and having a hard time not thinking of Prim. Last time I made cupcakes it was in the bakery. She had walked in with her sister and asked for the 'pink' one.

Making a couple cheese buns, I place on a plate with a note.

'Be right back for that walk, love you'

All the bags are in my hands, when I walk through the living room. On the coffee table I see the paperwork for the bakery, I pick it up. I walk towards the door and hear the water running and know that Katniss is getting ready. Have only a little bit of time to make it back, I make sure that there is a quick step in my walk as I make it to the Square.

The new Justice Building is almost completed; however the design of the building is different than the marble columns and grand entrance. This time the Justice Building has lots of windows and a smaller entrance.

There are a cardboard temporary sign that leads me to the rebuilding offices. Walking through the hallways, I find someone in the window.

"Yes, hi, how can I help you?" a young woman says.

"I have official New Capitol paperwork for building a structure in the Square and a home outside the boundaries," I say, handing the envelope to her.

"My, my, this paperwork are signed by President Paylor," she says. "Mr."

"Peeta Mellark," I say.

"Mr. Mellark, everything seems in order; however the plans for the Bakery are incomplete. There is a mention of a second project that is not completed," she says. "The name is missing."

That is right; I never picked a name for the second project. There is only one name that I can think of. Grabbing the paperwork, I write in the name.

"This is a wonderful idea, I can see why the President has approved this in the other districts," she says.

"What do you mean," I say.

She hands me the paperwork and it states that this is project one of thirteen. Right next to the addendum there is the project slated for District Twelve.

"The requisitions that are listed in the paperwork for the bakery and the projected listed in the addendum are being expedited as the completed work is listed as two weeks, per the office of President Paylor," she continues. "If you wish to inspect the work as it is being built please let me know. As far as the other project outside the boundaries it does not list any specific location or need of a work crew, is that correct?"

"Yes," I say. "I will take care of that myself, and thank you for the invitation for the bakery inspection but I am pretty sure that I will busy due to the Harvest Festival that is in two months."

She grabs the paperwork and files them. Then I see her grab a phone and contacted the Capitol with the order numbers for the equipment for the Bakery. At the end of the conversation she asked me if I needed anything else.

"For marriage licenses, do I file the paperwork here or somewhere else," I say.

"Well you would need witnesses in order to issue the license," she says.

"Here, have a cupcake," I say handing it to the young lady. She accepts, thanks me, and says that she will save it for lunch.

Saying my goodbye to the young lady in the rebuilding office I walk outside. The workers are arriving to the Justice Building as well as the Square to continue the work. It is quite a sight to see the amount of people that are coming to rebuild the district.

Placing my hands in my pocket, I walk back through the hallway to the door that leads outside. The sun is much brighter than earlier this morning. The hammering and the machinery sounds is the first thing I hear as I walk through the Square. The district is buzzing about something as I see many people talking. I hand the bags of pastries, and bread to Sae who I see walking to the Seam. She tells me that Katniss has given her the day off to enjoy with April. She pushes me over to the side of the building.

In the distance I see familiar crates on the ground near the train station. On the side of the crates are the Capitol symbols. People in different color suits walks out of the train station office. I thank Sae, and she walks out back on her way to the Seam with the bags of breads and pastries to distribute to the other families there. I quickly walk to the alley between the post office and the shoe repair store. Hugging the wall I work to the back of the building and finally onto the side road that takes you through the back streets to the Victors Village.

I think to myself that I probably have a couple of minutes before they get there but I have to hurry. Katniss isn't going to like this, not one bit; she didn't like cameras before and now after everything that has happened, even less.

I would have hoped that Effie would have at least given us a couple of days before telling Plutarch. Knowing how impatient Plutarch is, I would have figured he would have gone back on his word of the compromise. I stop at the corner and peek over. There is a group of Capitol reporters walking back from the Victors Village. I let them pass by and wait a couple of seconds be, before I walk to the main road and then finally through the back door of the kitchen.

"Katniss?" I call out.

"Upstairs," I hear her.

Walking up the steps, I open the door and see her there standing by the windows with her arms folded. You can tell from the expression on her face, that she suspects something.

"How long," she says.

"Probably twenty minutes," I say, "but we would have to take the back roads."

She points to the packs on the ground, and tells me that a change of clothes is in one of the packs and the others were supplies.

"I will take the supplies," I say.

She nods, turns, gives me a kiss hello, grabs the pack, and tells me that she will wait for me downstairs by the kitchen.

I grab the pack of supplies and follow her downstairs. I have noticed that we are very private people, so if the windows are open, the blinds are drawn for all the downstairs windows in the front of the house.

At the foot of the steps it is like we are back in the military as she gives me silent hand signals to stay away from the windows. I tap her on the shoulder as a signal of confirm and we make our way down to the kitchen when we peek out the windows and find no one is in the backyard.

I open the door and we quickly run out onto the backyard and through the nearby hole in the fence. Once on the other side, she hands me a knife and a long ax that she had hid in an empty tree log that had fallen on its side. The standing tree next to it, she retrieves her bow and a quiver of arrows and we make our way probably ten more yards before she lifts up her hand to stop.

She turns around and finally smiles.

"Didn't think we get out before the cameras came," she says.

"How did you know?" I say.

"Well I was downstairs when I heard a knock," she says. "I know that you don't knock when it is your house, and neither does Haymitch, so I knew it was someone that we didn't know personally."

"I saw them off loading their equipment at the train station on my way back from the Justice Building," I say. "Had to take the side streets to get around them."

"Didn't think that Plutarch would have waited that long before coming to District Twelve," she says. "Not to mention that the President is coming in two weeks. My guess is that they wanted to do some pre-interviews before the President arrives."

I hold her hand and that finally snaps both of us from our instinctual military setting. Her warm smile lessens the strain of the atmosphere. That is until I hear a rustle, which causes both of us to turn back. I raise the knife and ax, and hear the arrow taunt in the bow.

Closing my eyes, I focus in on the surrounding sounds. There it is faint, but I can hear the breathing. Lifting the ax I point to where I think the sound was coming from.

A soft tap on the shoulder to confirm, and three seconds later I hear the release of the arrow come from my left ear, and fly through the sky until it makes a thud sound.

We walk over slowly to where the thud was. There on the ground is a good size wild boar, with an arrow through it head.

"Getting better, can see you have been practicing," she says.

"Well had a good teacher," I say.

She gets out the game bag, walks over to some plants, crushes a couple of them on the bag and smears it on it.

"Don't want the smell to attract other animals, well not in this part," she says.

She stuffs the boar in the bag and we walk for a good thirty minutes before we make it a clearing.

"See the ground," she says, pointing at disturbances in the pattern. "Two maybe three deer pass through here, the depth of the imprint, probably about twenty minutes or so."

I start to look around and see the little traces of disturbances as she calls it. We walk through a river that runs downstream. Remembering what she told me back in the Games, of hiding tracks I wonder if it is also hiding scent from other animals. We stop after another hour or so of hiking. Both of us are a little bit tired and a little bit out of shape.

"So now that we are far enough, I am sorry about the cameras," I say.

"Don't be, I am sure that they were coming soon, anyways," she says. "Plus it gave us a reason to go hiding in the woods, and out of the house. Not that I mind what we were doing in the house."

A sly smirk creeps into her face. We sit on the rocks before she digs into the supply pack. She tosses me an apple, and some nuts that she had packed in a clear plastic bag.

"Just like back in the Games," she says.

"Only this time we are not being chased by crazy people," I say smiling.

She scoots over to me, hands me her apple and asks if I could cut it up for her. Getting out my knife, I wipe it down on a clean rag that I find in the clothes pack and begin to cut up the apple into bite size chunks. Handing it over to her, we sit there hearing the water of the river and the birds singing in the distance.

"Nice walk, for a third date," I say.

"You think so?" She says. "Wait until we make it to the destination."

The way she knows that not knowing where we are going drives my imagination into overdrive and that is not only not fair, but makes me laugh as the same time.

"It is driving you up the wall not knowing where we are going, isn't it," she says smiling.

"Honestly, yes," I say laughing. "But I rather spend my whole day with you not knowing where we are going, than anywhere else. Before I had you, I wish for this every day, so now that I can spend it with you, that is what I want to do."

She stands and hands me a water bottle.

"Well come on then, let's spend some more time together," she say.

We walk in a brisk manner stopping to describe what doesn't belong in the scene and where the tracks are. It is amazing to see how she can notice these little things in the forest, and how an animal walks and moves, its behavior, and where it would go for water if the wind blows east or west.

"You have an amazing sense of details," I say.

"Well only on these things in the forest," she says. "You notice the other things."

She gives me her hand and in the other is a bow with an arrow already ready to go. In my other hand is the ax and in my belt is the knife ready to attack in a split second. We walk and finally she parts some trees and there a lot closer than what I got, is the little house on the lake.

She turns and smiles.

"Looking for this," she says.

"No," I say. "Looking for you."

Walking to the little house, finally getting to see it up close, I see that it is a little concrete house, no windows but a working chimney. She drops off the two packs, the supplies one and the game bag.

She hands me the clothing bag and the soap.

"Sorry you didn't get a chance to get freshen up, but you have a very large bath tub behind you," she says.

I turn and see the lake.

"Want me to turn around?" She says. "Oh, I know."

She puts one of her hands up to her eyes, but moves one of the fingers to be able to peek through.

I laugh, and take off my shirt. I throw it to her covering her face. Quickly taking off the pants and undershorts I dive into the lake. She laughs and takes it off her face.

"Too late," I say.

"Well you need to come out some time," she says.

"Pass me the soap," I say. "Or you could come in and help."

Her face turns bright red, and she lifts her hand to cover her mouth. Picking up the soap she tosses it to me.

"Thanks for the offer, but I already took a shower earlier this morning," she says. "If you had stayed with me in bed, well we could have shared the shower."

Just the thought, causes my blood to rise and a blush to pop onto to my face. She watches for a couple of minutes before walking back into the house. I quickly clean up and wash away any dirt or grim before getting up to the shore and getting on some clean clothes.

There neatly placed on a rock is a folded Green shirt, tan slacks with suspenders laid over it, her favorite outfit on me. Looking up to the sky, I can see the sun is almost at the noon position. If we were to have any time to get back to the district before the sun goes down we would have to get things packed up now.

I walk inside and I can see finally Katniss taking out the supplies from the pack. There is no food, but for some snacks. There are some matches for a fire, and finally one large sleeping bag. She may not think that she has the ability to plan, but she planned the day at the President house, with the materials for the toasting. And now; she has pulled off something that I wanted to do since I imagine it in my mind right before they took me in the Detention Center.

"So you don't expect to go back to the district," I say.

"Nope, at least not today, maybe tomorrow" she says laying down the sleeping bag near the fire place.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

People have always told me that dreams are always better than real life. Most of the time when we build certain people or situations in life, that we are disappointed if it were to ever happen in real life. It seems that our imagination always has the better reality of our own existence.

It seems that no one told this to me because everything that I can imagine doesn't come close to what I am experiencing. It could be since that since I never got the opportunity to talk to Katniss back when we were younger, I guess I didn't have a standard to shoot out from. Everything I learn from her is better than what I could have imagined.

Getting to know her has been such an adventure that I cannot imagine doing it any other way.

"So what do you think?" She says opening her arms to the little concrete house in the middle of the woods. It is more than I could have imagined that day back in the Detention Center. Of course I would love to have the same house that I imagined, but just being with her here right now, I find that any place is enough.

"I think it is perfect," I say. "Although we would need an oven sooner or later, how else would I make you those cheese buns that you like so much?"

She snaps her fingers and says "we could always have it delivered."

"Don't think anyone would venture out here to bring us cheese buns," I say.

"You would," she says and smiles.

"You know what? I think I would," I say. "So what do you want to do?"

She looks around and says "well we could clean up the place if we are going to be spending the night here."

Looking around the little house, I find that it has one extra room that they might have used for storage.

"How did you find this little place, by the way?" I ask.

She grabs my hand and we walk outside. She points to a high point of the ridge.

"Well when I was around nine I went out with my father hunting," she says. "My father would never admit to it, but he got lost, and well we ended up finding this little house."

It is quite peaceful and very secluded. I don't think you would find it if you weren't looking for it. There are no birds around the area, and from what Katniss tells me there isn't much game around the area. It seems that not even the animals of the forest know that it exists. The trees are very dense almost like it was protecting the lake from anyone finding it.

We walk to the edge and she slips off her boots placing her feet in the cool water. I can still remember how refreshing the water felt when I dove into it. I grab her feet and begin to massage them as she continues to tell me about this place.

"That day he taught me how to swim. At first it was scary, but when he got into the water he showed me that it was just my mind playing tricks on me," she says.

"Well it is very peaceful here," I say.

"You told me a while back that you imagine this place," she says.

"Remember that day when I asked you if you could go anywhere that you would go here? And I asked you in detailed what it look liked?" I say.

She nods her head yes.

"That is what I do when I try to imagine it in my head. I sort of paint the picture in my head to know what it looks like. I remember you telling me how the houses looked and the trees and water," I say.

"Did it look like this?" she says pointing around.

"Well with the exception of the trees, everything else looked kind of like I saw in my head. You describe it pretty well. That and I asked tons of questions when it comes to details of a place," I say.

"What about the trees," she says.

"You see the trees how one of the branches comes to the water. Well when I first saw it, it looked like and hand dipping its fingers into the water," I say.

"Hmm," she says as she positions herself on my chest. "Never saw it like that."

I run my hands through her hair and she closes her eyes.

"Tell me more about how you saw this place in your mind," she says.

"Well there was a porch in my version of the little house, and we would have great long conversations on a little bench that I had made," I say.

"When would you have these conversations?" She asks.

"In the difficult moments, it was my escape to disconnect from the physical pain," I say.

She opens her eyes when she hears the words pain, and physical. Lifting herself, she looks at me and I can tell that she is still worried about me.

I smile at her, and know that the question is coming. Grabbing her hand, I look down at it. It is amazing how everything about her, I find beautiful. Even the fact that she worries about me, I love it even more.

"It was the only way," I say.

"To escape when you couldn't," she says.

I nod my head yes. You learn very quickly that if you are present in the moment of them torturing you then you would break in a couple of hours.

'They teach you that if you can pretend that you are in a happier place, talking with people that you miss and love,' I hear Johanna say.

'How?' I say. 'Doesn't the pain keep you focused?'

'You have to disconnect from your mind and body,' she says. 'It is basically changing the way you way you see it. What you think about is real, and this is not.'

I hear the foot steps coming towards the cell. The trembling hasn't stopped and I cannot fight my way again. I hear the latch loosen from the door, and finally the door opens.

'Doctor Vassar wishes to have a word with you,' a solider says. He tosses me the restraints and tells me to put them on, one hand on a weapon that has been unclipped on his belt.

Slipping on the restraints I tighten them and finally he comes and takes me to a room. There he attaches a chain to the restraints and the chain is retracted to the ceiling lifting me and keeping my legs dangling.

The door opens and Doctor Vassar walks in with what seems to be a cattle prod.

'Don't really have anything that I want to ask, but wanted to try or shall we say experiment' he says.

Walking over to me he turns on the cattle prod and I can see the volts coursing through the prod.

'Disconnect from your mind and body,' I say in my mind. Closing my eyes, I begin to say over and over again, 'this isn't real; the house on the lake is real.'

Just as I can feel him right in front of me I try to let go and find that it isn't as easy as Johanna says. It isn't until I think about her that finally my mind starts to relax and I see the lake in my mind. I hear her voice telling me about the house, a paint brush and finally it starts to come to focus.

The first thing I see is the smoke coming from the chimney. Walking I can hear the crunching leaves underneath my boots.

'Have to be a little bit quieter,' I think to myself.

Just as I am reaching the house I see a figure sitting on a bench outside on a porch. She has on a mild yellow colored sweater that is two sizes too big. She is holding a coffee cut and is sipping something when she turns and smiles.

'What took you so long,' she says.

'What are you doing here,' I say.

'Well,' she starts. 'I am not really here you see, but in your heart. This whole little world here you created it to talk to me.'

She pats the seat next to her. Unsure of what she meant by I created this whole world; I feel the sharp pain and see the concrete wall in front of me. Then there is another zap, and the electricity runs through my body. I close my eyes and try to think of her in between the burst of electrical zaps.

Finally after a couple of tries, the house comes back into focus.

'Hey, welcome back,' she says.

'What happened,' I ask.

'Well all I can say, is where do you want to stay,' she says.

'Here with you,' I say with hesitation.

'Okay, so come sit next to me,' she says again as she pats the seat next to her.

This time not thinking twice about it, I just let the fantasy take hold and finally sit down.

"It was the only way to disconnect," I say. "It was my way to be with you."

She holds my hand and smiles. Looking up towards the trees, she asks me what color was the bench in your dream.

"Well don't really remember, but it was a darker color wood," I say.

She stands and hands me the ax.

"Let's go and make a bench," she says.

Walking around the trees, she asks me the different trees and if this one or that one. Finally in the distance I see one that has similar shade and we decide on that one tree.

Circling the tree we finally take turns cutting down several large branches and labeling them either the legs, seat, back, or arm rest. The wood is a sturdy dark wood and has very few notches. We hoist them on each other shoulders and begin to walk back, before she tells me.

"Stop."

I look around ready to attack should she hear something that I didn't. When I see her laughing, she tells me that she wasn't hearing a predator but more like she saw some vines that would make for a good tie for the wood pieces.

She asks me for my knife and she cuts several long pieces of vines and wraps them around my neck in a loose fashion.

"Okay," she says. "I think that is all of it."

Walking back to the little house she walks in and tells me that she is going to get started on dinner. She hands me back my knife.

"Don't you need it for the meat," I say.

"I brought more than just my bow," she says confidently. "Let me know if you need any help, not that I know how to build a bench, but you know what they say, two heads."

I smile and kiss her on her cheek.

"Nope you missed," she says.

Going back in, I kiss her on the tip of her nose. She of course wrinkles it and smiles at me.

"Just what I needed," she says walking into the house. I can see her getting out the game bag and walking back outside. She sits a couple of feet away and pulls out the wild boar.

Looking at the pieces I begin to put together three strong pieces. Using the ax, I cut them to almost exactly the same size. Grabbing a couple vines, I cut off pieces of it, and bind them together making the four legs. The back was next and this time I used the knife to smooth out the larger pieces.

It takes me a couple of hours, and by the time I am done, I am hungry enough to eat the entire boar, but I look at the finish product and find that the bench doesn't look exactly like I imagine it but it was made by my hands, from materials that we both got from the woods around us.

I sit it, and find that it can hold my weight.

"Hey, dinner is almost ready," she says.

Surprised she walks over and looks at the work of the little project I had just done. She pushes it on it, to see if it would fall apart.

"Nope," I say. "But you can sit next to me."

I pat on the seat next to me. She looks at it, unsure if it would hold our weight together. I urge her that I have tested it and it can hold my weight as well as the rocks that I was using to see if the binds would work to hold it all together.

She finally places sits ever so lightly on it, scared that it would collapse and we would be on the floor hurt by some stray piece of wood. After about ten minutes she lets her full weight settle in and finds that surprising, it holds her weight and mines.

"See," I say. "Now how is dinner coming along?"

"Almost done, have some potatoes and berries to go with it," she says. "A lot better than my umm, attempt at the stew back in the Games."

"I liked that one too, with the grooseling," I say laughing.

She leans over and kisses me.

"Never for once doubted that you could make it," she says. "This bench will look good in front of the house. Now how do we make a porch?"

I lift up my shoulders and tell her, that I will find out from the construction crew that is rebuilding the Square.

"Thanks by the way," I say.

"For what?" she says.

"Well for this," I say pointing at the bench. "You really understand me."

"I realized that you needed it to be real, so why not make a bench," she says. "Sounds like a good idea, anyways."

I kiss her and she smile asking what that was for.

"You do not give yourself enough credit," I say. "You are paying attention."

We move the bench which is pretty heavy back to the little house and she brings me some of the wild boar, with some potatoes and berries. All in all it is a very good meal and we even have seconds should we want.

"Seems like we need wood for the fire," I say. "Want to go on a stroll with me?"

"Sure," she says.

We walk out and see that there is still sunlight, but not much. Probably have about two hours or so before it sets so we have to get everything packed up and any traps for the night. Walking around we find enough firewood to last us through the night.

"If we build here, would you be happy here?" I say.

She shakes her head no.

"Peeta, you don't get it," she says. "I will be happy with you anywhere, even if we were to move to the Capitol surrounded by cameras every day."

"Really?" I say.

"Well probably not surrounded by cameras, but we have been everywhere imaginable," she says.

We walk into the little house closing the door but leaving the windows open. We store all the supplies and clothing in our packs making sure that they are easily accessible should we need to. From what I can imagine I guess it is a habit to be ready at a moment notice, don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. In the games you are taught very quickly that you have to always be on your guard, always ready to get moving, and I guess that sort of mentality has stayed with us.

Getting the fire started, I see that she approaches it.

"Sometimes I can still see it," she says.

"See what?" I say.

"The fence at the President's house," she says. "Looking up and seeing the silver parachutes."

I place my hand on her shoulder. It seems that although we are still healing physically from the fire, do not think that we would ever completely heal from the emotional scares and lost. Through the pain, we have been able to find some sort of happiness in this world that has left us without friends or families.

"Have you ever slept in this house before," I ask.

"Nope," she says. "Once we lost track of time and couldn't get back to the fence before they had turned it on. That night I spent it up in the trees sleeping."

"Your mother must have been worried," I say.

"She was, but not more than Prim," she says. "Peeta…will the pain… ever go away?"

I run my hands around her waist and let her find comfort in my arms. How do you answer a question that you do not have the answer to, but wish you could lie and say yes. It is the same question that sometimes nags me in the morning time, the same emptiness that I feel when I realize that I will never see my family again.

"I don't know how to answer that," I say. "The only thing that I can tell you is that the hurt means you love them a lot and will miss them. That is the only way that I can get through those days when I think about them."

"What scares me is that I am beginning to forget her," she says.

I walk her over to the mirror that is still hanging. I wipe off the dust from the mirror and I stand behind her.

"Who do you see?" I say.

"I see me," she says.

"Look at this, you see your nose," I say. "That is Prim's nose as well."

"Really?" she says. "I never really noticed."

"Well I notice things," I say. "Like your eyebrows are not the same because hers was a little bit bushier, but that was expected because she was younger, but I know that if we would to see Prim at your age, then we would see a little bit of you in her. As long as we can see them in us, they will never be gone, we would never forget them."

She lifts up her hand to her nose, and she realizes that although it is faint, we can still see her in Katniss.

"Next time we are here, how about if we bring the book and write a little bit more," I say.

There in the fire warm in our little house, we find each other and we find that as long as we can see them in us, we will never be alone. They will always be with us.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

The warmth of a fire is nothing compared to the warm of her on my chest. She holds my right hand with her left. I walk out to the center of the room with her holding my hand. Unsure she walks with me gently as she is barefoot. I stop and she circles around me, and there I place my hand around her waist.

"Peeta, you are silly," she says.

"Well we have to practice no?" I say. "What perfect place than this?"

"But there is no music," she says.

I start to hum a little song, seeing how I really can't sing all that well. She giggles and presses in on my chest. My arms wrap closer around her waist, and I can feel her heart beat, it isn't beating as steady as it once was.

"Nervous?" I say.

She laughs, and asks me how do I know.

"I can feel your heart beat, it is racing," I say.

"Having a hard time, controlling myself," she says.

I begin to twirl her, and can remember how Effie would have told both of us to count to remember where we should be in the waltz.

"Well here there is no need to," I say. "Here it is just us; no one even knows where we are, no one."

She laughs at the thought of it.

"Is this what it feels like," she says.

"What?" I say.

"To be totally free?" she says.

"Close," I say. "In a couple of months, I really think that we will be totally free of everything."

She places her head on my chest and I look down and see she is on her tippy toes. Either she is trying to keep in tradition with the heels or she wants to be able to hear my irregular heart beat.

Thinking about it, I think it is second one, don't think she will wear heels that day. Traditions I always believed should be changed to match each person. I don't think that there would be an issue having her in flip flops if she felt it was comfortable.

"Remember the last time we dance?" I ask.

"Yes, you had just announced that we were getting married," she says. "We were at the President's Mansion, and I don't think that I have met so many people that I no longer remember."

"The whole time, I just wanted to get out of there," I say.

"You and me both," she says.

She says something else, but trails off. Looking down at her, I see that her eyes are closed and yet she is still waltzing on her tippy toes, to music inside her head.

I lift her up and carry her to the sleeping bag, placing her in the sleeping bag. She rubs her face as to preparing to go to sleep.

I put out the fire and climb into the sleeping bag. She quickly scoots over and into her normal position. I feel her hand on my chest and finally I can sleep. This is the only way I know how I can fall asleep, is to feel her next to me.

The crackling sound of the fire dying gives off this warm feeling. I caress her hand and she just lies there still.

"Did I tell you today how much you mean to me?" she says under her breathe.

Taken a little bit back, I look at her and her eyes are closed.

"No," I say. "You haven't."

"You mean everything," she says voice all slurred. Kissing the top of her head she drifts off to sleep.

Closing my eyes, I find that it doesn't take me that long to fall asleep. Although underneath my makeshift pillow is the knife ready, just in case. Her bow is on the ground next to her.

This is probably the second time that I can remember where I do not dream. It is like I close my eyes and when I open them, it is already the next day. Could it be that I no longer need to dream, because I have what I dream for? The only thing that I wake up feeling is grateful.

The sunlight has already come through the door and the windows. The cool wind is a welcome change of pace being in the valley. The air from the nearby mountains causes anything that is below the ridge to be cooler than what it would be at the top.

Waking up I see those grey eyes just looking at me.

"Morning," I say.

"This time I was watching you sleep," she says smiling.

"Hopefully I didn't drool or anything," I say.

"No but you were smiling," she says.

"Probably thinking of you," I say not sure since I really don't remember what it was that I was dreaming about.

We just lie there and spend the time just talking about if people have realized that we are not even in the district.

"More than likely they are bothering Haymitch on our location," says Katniss.

"That would be classic, to see the Capitol Reporters knocking on his door," I say.

"I am fearful for their lives, probably through some empty liquor bottle at them," she says.

If there are Capitol Reporters in the district, then I am pretty sure that soon enough we will see Effie Trinket scheduling sit down interviews and of course the prep teams to get us camera ready.

"Oh, I almost forgot, today we have planned a dinner with Thom remember?" I say.

"Means that we would have to get going around noon," she says. "And here I wanted to spend a couple more days here away from the craziness of the district."

Kissing her on the top of her head, I tell her that we will come back.

"After all, if you want this could be where we live the rest of our lives," I say. "Well if you want to travel we could."

She shrugs, telling me that it did not matter where are, as long as we are together. I tell her that nothing would ever keep us apart again. Everything we went through, everyone trying to end our story together and now we have survived it all.

"What I do want to do is…" she starts to say. She kicks off the sleeping bag, standing, and then all of the sudden, she start to take off her t-shirt. Now this is a first, I think to myself. She quickly lowers her pants, and the only word I can think of is…whoa, that is until I see her sprint for the lake.

Standing up I take off my shirt and pants and run behind her. She jumps hooping in the air and finally into the cool water I am only a couple of seconds behind her as I jump into the lake.

"Oh wow, the water isn't cold like I thought," I say.

Looking around, I don't see her come up.

"Katniss?" I say.

Nothing.

Diving in, I cannot see anything as the lake water is not clear but muddy.

Finally I feel a tug at my undershorts and then before I can grab her, she has already yanked them off.

Surfacing, she has them in her hands as some sort of trophy.

"Look what I found, just lying around," she says.

"Really?" I say. "Because I am missing a pair of those same undershorts, it seems that a fish decided to grab it and take them."

She puts on this shocked face and then smiles.

Swimming over, she continues to smile and realize that I am swimming to get them from her.

"Who is a prude now?" she says.

She sticks out the undershorts and finally when I am grabbing it, she begins to pull it towards her. Smiling I come closer until I am finally right in front of her.

"Kiss?" she says.

I make a face like I am thinking about it, which causes her to gasp.

Leaning in, I kiss her gently which causes her to lose her focus for a split second and I dive underneath slipping off her undershorts.

Coming up for air, I lift hers up.

"Missing something?" I say.

"What makes you think I didn't want you to do that?" She says

The thought never came to my mind. She was never the one to make the move this bold.

I put her undershorts on my head, which causes her to laugh.

"Is this a good look for me?" I say.

"Don't know," she says placing my undershorts on her head as well. "How does this look on me?"

"Beautiful, a lot better than me," I say approaching her slowly, just as we are right in front of each other. Looking at each other's eyes, how her stare can disarm me in a second. How does she do that?

She leans in the kisses me which causes me to embrace her closer. Our bodies touch and the water temperature seems to have gotten warmer.

The vine and branch that intertwines as it goes on the bench, two different things but together they are one, just like us at this moment together as one. This might be the total freedom that we were searching for. It is like at this moment we are the only two people in the entire world.

Just being with her, being so close to her, is enough for me.

"Did I tell you how much I love you today?" I say.

"No," she says. "But I am beginning to realize just how much."

Grabbing her undershorts from my head she laughs at the thought of both of us looking so dignified. She slowly strolls out of the lake and all I can do is smile. Walking over to the clothes pack, she takes out her change of clothes as well as mines.

She places it on the rock as she starts to put on her clothes. Just there looking at her how beautiful she is, I am beginning to understand what the blind man was talking about when he asked why she was beautiful to me.

It is more than just how she looks; I think that it goes beyond that. It is not easy to find someone who has seen you at your worst and still wishes to be with you.

"You know you could not stare," she says as she is trying to tie her shoe and having a hard time concentrate.

"Just thinking about how lucky I am to be with you," I say.

Walking out I can see that she steals a couple of looks, as I pick up my clean undershorts. Putting them on, I look around and find that nothing could be better than this. There is no one for miles and no one knows we are here. I still cannot get over that thought.

"Should we start to head back?" She says looking up at the sky. "Get an early feel for if they are still looking for us or not?"

Buttoning on my shirt, I tell her that if we can get back early enough we can prepare ourselves for anything they might have planned.

"Who knows we might even be making a mountain out of a mole hill, and no one even noticed that we were gone," I say.

We both look at each other and doubt what I just had said. Getting my boots on, she takes the wet undershorts and ring them out, before putting them on the warm hot sun.

We put on the packs and finally look at our little house. It was the first night and yet it feels like we have been there forever. It is a very basic house, and it is enough for us.

I feel her hand grab mines, and turn and see her smiling.

"What did you think of the little house?" she says.

"Can't wait to come back to it," I say. "Although we do need to get some more furniture in there, guess we will need to learn how to build chairs and tables. Wonder how I am going to make an oven."

She tugs at my hand and off we go through the same trail that we came through. We walk through the thick forest till finally we run into the river. She stops and kneels looking at some tracks.

"Wolves," she says. "It is fresh, couldn't be more than a couple of minutes, we would have to tread carefully."

Taking out the ax and knife, I look around and make sure that any thoughts that I had that were distracting me are now out of my mind and I am focus on the task at hand. She takes an arrow from her quiver and notches it on the bow string. We walk slower than usual carefully masking the noise of the foot steps with the noise of the river.

The incline of the river causes us to take small breaks to regain our energy. We would take breaks and each one of us would cover each other while we rested.

"Wolves hunt in packs, so while I only spotted two tracks it could be that there are more than just two," she says.

We continue to walk back until we reach the opening in the fence. This time around there was no wild dogs, or wolves chasing us, but it does remind me that while the house on the lake is as secluded as possible it is still surrounded by dangers all around us.

She sneaks through the hole and walk around to her house. Doing the same I am right behind her placing my back to the corner of the house. Slowly coming around the corner I do not see anyone. I throw out a whistle and give a signal of no one. She moves to the other corner and peeks through the corner. Turning back she holds up three fingers, (symbolizing three people), and the lower hand (means that they are sitting).

Giving the sign for window, I tell her that we can use the window on my side to slide into. She nods and walks over to me. Checking around the corner I see that there is still no one there. I move over to the window and finally lift the window up. Cupping my hands she places her boot there and I push her through the window.

Handing her the pack, she helps me up the window and I slide quietly the window down. We are now in the downstairs bathroom. Releasing a sigh of relief, Katniss opens the door to the living room.

"Was wondering when you were going to show up," says a familiar voice.

"Where you looking for us?" says Katniss as she walks into the living room.

Following behind her, I see that it is Haymitch sitting on the living room chair. It seems like he was waiting for us.

"It seems that I am still in charge of you," he says frustrated. "That is the impression that Effie let me know. That I should know where you are."

My suspicions were correct. Effie is here somewhere in District Twelve, and probably was called when they couldn't find us. A smirk comes on my face.

"Let me guess, they woke you up trying to find us," I say.

"Well aren't you a smart one," he says. "You were supposed to lay low and not get into trouble."

"Are we in trouble?" I say. "Last I checked, the New Capitol said she wasn't at fault."

"Easy," he says. "I was only joking. The President's visit is in two week for the rebuilding, and I was asked to make sure that you attended that, and as well as the pre-interviews. They are waiting for you over at your house Peeta."

She turns to me and whispers.

"It is okay, let's just get this over with," she says, giving me a quick peck on the cheek for trying to protect her.

We place the packs on the kitchen, taking out the remaining pieces of wild boar and place that in the refrigerator. We walk to the kitchen door, and Haymitch opens the door. Immediately we are bombarded by flashes of the camera and people asking questions that I cannot even understand. There aren't just three reporters; it seems those were just taking a break. There are around ten to twelve different reporters from the different districts.

I feel people pressing in on us as we walk. The flashes and the yelling, the tension in the air, it is like everyone haven't seen us enough and is wanting to know what we had done the past two weeks that we were not in the Capitol.

She turns and sees me struggling to get through the flashes as it brings back the rescue at the Detention Center, the bombs, and the flashes of electricity. The shaking causes her to stop and I can barely hear her yelling to Haymitch for help. I feel him come back and begin to push back the reporters as we finally make it inside the house.

She grabs me by the shoulders and begins to whisper in my ears.

"You are safe," she says. "Sssh, you are safe."

I can hear her voice and I can feel her hands which causes my trembling to subside. She grabs the nearby chair that I always put near the door to put on my shoes and she tells me to sit down.

Sitting down, I close my eyes and can still see the flashes of the bombs and the hallways when they came to rescue me from the Detention Center.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow," she starts to sing. "You know the rest of it? Sing it to me."

I open my mouth to say it and still shaking, she rubs my arms.

"Peeta, can you tell me the next line?" she says.

"A bed of grass, a soft green pillow," I say.

"Good," she says. "Lay down you head, and close your sleepy eyes."

"And when again they open, the sun will rise," I say.

She rubs my hands, and continues.

"Here it's safe, here it's warm, here the daisies guard you from every harm," she says. "Okay, it is your turn."

"Here you dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true, here is the place where I love you," I finish.

Opening my eyes, I see her there on her knees looking up at me. She is smiling.

"You okay," she asks.

"Now I am," I say.

There is a silence in the air, and finally she leans in and we kiss gently. The trembling is small but it is fading away. The thoughts of the escape are fading in my mind. The breathing begins to slow down. I remember her voice, and the love that we share.

"And cut," a woman's voice says. "Tell me you got that."

"I got the whole thing from the other house," a man's voice says.

I turn my face and finally there in my living room is a camera crew with the camera focused on us. The familiar face causes me to smile although still in pain.

"Hello Cressida, welcome to my home," I say.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

Never did like cameras. It was a thought that I had in my heart even before the Reaping. We would watch the Games and all the Capitol Broadcast in our little black and white television. The thing that I never liked was that I didn't know the person who was giving the news or in the Games, so the emotion was always manipulated. It was always a story being told, and not the truth.

Cressida, however I know, and I trust. She unlike Caesar Flickerman has been in the same fire fight, in the same war. She actually had to fire the gun right along with us, see the same horrors that we had. With that reasoning I trust her.

"Are you okay?" says Katniss, rubbing my hand.

Looking down at her hand, I know that she is worried.

"I am okay; just a little weak," I say. "Help me up?"

She grabs my hand and lifts me up. Standing, I feel a little bit better. I can still hear the clamor outside of the reporters and even some flashing in the windows that are drawn but inside my house it is just Cressida, one microphone man, and a camera man.

"How do you like my home," I say. "I am sorry that I had you waiting, wasn't feeling too well. Do you need anything?"

Cressida smiles and says "always on stage when there is a camera huh?"

The thought that I could be that transparent makes me smile. Cressida is straight to the point, and she doesn't sugar coat. A bit dramatic, I can still see the tattoos under her hair that has grown in somewhat.

"No, actually Peeta, I do not need anything, we are just here to talk," she says. "Is it okay to have a conversation and catch up?"

"With a camera and with everyone in Panem watching?" says Katniss.

"Naturally," she says. "But I promise two things. One, it will not be live, and two if you wish to take breaks we can."

I nod and she helps me to the sofa. They place the microphone on a high stand and place it so that it is in the center. They place the camera on a stand and the microphone man goes to a kit where he takes out some powders.

"For the lighting we need to place some powder," he tells me.

"I am use to it, been through two Games, and one Torture," I say laughing. The room however doesn't share in my humor, and neither do I, but because I am nervous I tend to say things that make me other uneasy so that I am not that uneasy myself.

Katniss stands and goes to the kitchen grabbing me a glass of water. She comes back and hands it to me.

"Thank you," I tell her.

She sits back down and just grabs my hand.

"Okay," says Cressida. "Whenever you are ready we will begin."

"I think we are ready," says Katniss.

The microphone guy starts with the count backwards and just like that; the red light on the camera turns on and is pointed at Cressida.

"We are here in the home of Peeta Mellark to catch up with Panem's star cross lovers, the Victors of District Twelve, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark," says Cressida. "Peeta, Katniss, how are you doing?"

The camera turns to us and there in the light, I can see that Katniss is waiting for me to jump in and take control of the interview just like I use to back in the Capitol. She does not like the cameras, and I am guessing she doesn't know that I don't like the cameras either.

"Well, Cressida, we are well, it has been a very exciting three years and well we have had our ups and downs but we are now just excited to live our lives in peace," I say.

"Exciting is one word to put it," says Katniss continues.

"Yes, especially the whole Tribunal and Peeta leaping to save you," says Cressida. "I tell you, I cried, and I bet most of Panem did as well, when they saw you there bleeding, but of course we knew you would pull through."

She looks at me and smiles.

"He is always saving me," she says.

"Well that is only because she saved me," I say.

The camera turns to Cressida. It is like a conversation that we are having. It isn't large jagged movements, but small unnoticeable movements, fluid. The setting is perfect for this type of interview; it is in the setting of our home. The comfortable feeling of being in one's home, it does put people at ease.

"Peeta, you mean when they came to rescue you from the Capitol," says Cressida.

"No," I say. "It was well before that."

Both Katniss and Cressida look at me unsure of when then did Katniss save me. The look begs of an explanation, of when did she actually save me.

"Well it was after our Hunger Games," I begin to say. "We had just gotten back and well I wasn't handling something that I was told back then."

Looking towards Cressida, I do not want Katniss to know that it was the news of President Snow making her pretend that she was in love with me, and that all the things that happened in the Games was just to survive.

"I was working in the bakery, and she came in with her little sister," I say. "Well she came in and told me a secret, and that was the moment that I realized that she saved me."

It is silent, almost like they are waiting for me to continue. Everyone is just there looking at me, sort of makes it a little bit uneasy, so I look down at her hands and reposition my feet on the ground. Looking up, they are still there looking at me.

"You do not expect me to tell you what the secret was?" I say.

There is angst of frustration as everyone thought that I would share this secret.

"Always a man of mystery," says Cressida. "Katniss how do you handle him?"

She shrugs, and says "it isn't easy but I have learned that a little mystery isn't so much a bad thing."

"With the upcoming Harvest Festival, we were privy to certain top secret information that a private celebration will be occurring?" says Cressida.

The moment of truth is here. I feel her hand tighten, as the nervous feeling comes over us.

"We have decided to have a very small celebration to our marriage," says Katniss. "Since we never had one with the uprising and the war, we felt that it was time, and wished to only invite close friends and family to come and celebrate with us."

"How wonderful, well you definitely deserve it," says Cressida.

"Where would we send you the invitation?" says Katniss.

There a smile the creeps onto Cressida's face.

"You consider me a friend," she says breaking out of character.

"Of course I do," says Katniss. "We would like your crew here to join us as well so that we can have a record of it. Do you think you will be available?"

You wouldn't know it, but Katniss is very comfortable now in front of a camera, whereas I am still recovering from the episode I just had.

"Doubt that I would miss a celebration of a close friend," says Cressida. "Peeta, you must be excited though."

"Waking up to her every day is exciting, because I think it is still a dream that she is here with me," I say smiling. "Sometimes I even have to poke her to make sure that she is real."

"Yes," says Katniss. "I have the bruises to prove it."

"It is wonderful to see that the two of you have grown closer than the last time I saw you," says Cressida.

The last time we saw Cressida was in the underground tunnels of the Capitol, being chased by the muttations. The hollow steps that echo through the tunnels, the screams of people dying underground, really never go away.

"It has been a process, but as long as we keep the promise we did to each other, I know that we will make it," I say.

"That is wonderful," says Cressida. "Speaking of process, with the upcoming visit of the President it seems that the rebuilding is high gear to get completed. Will we see you don an apron again?"

I smile and think about all the good memories that I had in the old Bakery and cannot wait to see the finish product of the new one. The plans that I approved had the Bakery twice as large as before even with a sitting area on the porch for people who want to spend the day relaxing in the Square.

"You can rest assure that I will still be making bread for District Twelve," I say. "Especially the cheese breads which are Katniss's favorite."

"Isn't it wonderful to see the rebuilding process occur so quickly," says Cressida. "Most of Panem has been rebuilt and there are even talks of a project to improve life in all the districts. Haven't received all the details but the President's office has let us know that the idea actually came from you, Peeta."

Katniss smiles because she has seen the plans for the project and she had no idea that it is being implemented everywhere in Panem. Never did I expect this to be something that would change Panem. Honestly from what I saw in the war, I just wanted to bring this to District Twelve so that we can continue to hold the values that our fathers had given us.

'We are in this together,' my father says.

"Yes, well I never thought that what I wanted for District Twelve to be adopted in the other Districts," I say.

"And cut," says Cressida. "Thank you so much for your time that was perfect."

"Cressida, are you free this evening?" I ask. "We are having some people over for a nice quiet Dinner and were wondering if you would like to come. Of course we would request that it be a social visit and that the hardware not make a presence."

"Yes," says Katniss. "Would you like to join us?"

Cressida looks down to her clip board and shuffles through the paperwork.

"We can always do the editing tomorrow," she says smiling. "You can count on me for tonight, and I will take care of the other reporters so that we have some quiet time tonight."

"Thank you so much," I say. "We would appreciate that."

The camera lights turn off and they start to break down all the equipment. We stand and help them with anything that they might need. Once they are all packed up, the camera man and microphone man walk outside and speak to the other reporters and just like that, they start to pack up and leave.

I wonder what they told them, to have them leave so quickly.

There is no one in the Victor's Village; all of the reporters had all left. Walking back to Katniss's house, we can hear someone behind us. Well actually we can smell someone behind us.

"Haymitch, shouldn't you go and freshen up," says Katniss. "Did you fall in your own throw up again?"

I hear him sniffing his shirt.

"Kept the reporters away," he says. "All part of the plan."

Walking on the porch, and through the door I see the packs still on the kitchen table. Closing the door she looks back to me, placing one hand on my cheek.

"Feeling better," she says.

I kiss her hand and nod my head yes.

"When did I save you?" she says smiling.

Smiling back at her, I can tell that it is killing her to know what her sister told me.

"Well come here, I will tell you," I say grabbing her hand and sitting down on the sofa. "We all know what exactly it was that I wasn't handling as well as I should have."

"Yes," she says. "Sorry about that."

"Doesn't really matter now, does it?" I say. "But it was difficult to separate dream from reality. We didn't speak for a while until you came into the bakery that day."

"She wouldn't stop, everyday, asking me to get her a cupcake. I had to take her, or else I would have gone mad," she says.

"When you had left us alone she thanked me for saving you. I told her that you were the only who saved me," I say.

She smile a little bit, until she realizes that Prim isn't here.

"You remember when I told you that I didn't want the Capitol to change me?" I say. "Well throughout it all, you were the one person that when I felt that I was losing myself, you were the one that kept me, well me. You saved me."

She holds me and I can feel her soft warm hands.

"We have to clean up this place if we are going to have people over," she says.

"Okay, I will do the living room," I say. "If you want to get started on the meal?"

The next couple of hours we spend cooking, cleaning, baking, laughing, and playing around. She even helps with the bread, which comes out as good as I would have done.

Putting a finger to the flour, I place it on the tip of her nose. She laughs and asks me if this means that she is an honorary baker.

"No," I say. "Just thought it would look funny."

She grabs a little bit of flour and for the next couple of minutes we play a little game of war with the flour. That was until we realized that someone has to clean this all up.

"How about this," she says. "I go upstairs and get changed, and you clean up?"

Laughing at the idea, of her going upstairs and me doing all the work, I look at her. She puts on some sort of please look on her face, which she knows gets me to do anything she wants.

"What do I get in return?" I say.

She puts a face like she is thinking hard about it. Then finally lifts one finger as if she has an idea.

"How about this, you clean up and I will be eternally grateful?" she says.

That causes me to laugh.

"How about a kiss?" I say.

"I will see what I can do," she says.

She quickly goes upstairs to take a shower and change, while I begin quickly to clean the kitchen all over again, looking up at the ceiling.

"Now how did flour get up there?" I say.

That is when I hear a knock at the door. Looking around for some way to get the flour off the ceiling, I find a broom. I place a rag on the end of the broom and try to broom the ceiling.

There is another knock at the door. Walking back through the living room, finally get to the door and open.

"Hey Peeta," says Thom. He looks at me with a confused look. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah sorry," I say chuckling. "Had a little issue with the flour. Come in, come in."

He hands me a bottle of wine and she hands me a cake.

"Oh I am sorry," I say wiping my hands that were filled with flour on my apron. "I am Peeta."

Thom gives me an 'I cannot believe I forgot to introduce her' look to me.

"Hello, Peeta." She says. "I am Millie."

"Peeta, this is Millie, my wife," he says.

"It is such a pleasure to meet you," I say. "Is there anything I can get you?"

They say no that they are fine. We talk about the progress of the rebuilding process. Thom tells me that the clearing of the Square really inspired the district to start to do things for each other.

"Well it was the right to do, we need to pull together as a district," I say.

I start to hear the footsteps upstairs and finally can hear her at the top of the steps. There is a pause before I hear her step on the first step on the stairs. She was probably taking a deep breath like I would have.

I turn and see Katniss there in a sun dress. Her hair is no longer in a braid but it is loose and free flowing.

"Oh, hello," says Katniss.

"Katniss, you know Thom," I say as she greets him. "And his wife Millie."

"You are married?" says Katniss. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," says Thom.

"Peeta, if you want to go upstairs and change, I can stay down here," says Katniss.

Looking to the mirror I see that I have flour on my face. Smiling I turn and see her making a face. I give her a peak on the cheek and with my thumb take off the flour that was still on her ear.

"Be right back," I say running upstairs.

It takes me only a couple of minutes to get undressed and in the shower to scrub off the flour that was in my hair and on my face. Don't want to leave Katniss alone with Thom too long as Thom and Gale are great friends and don't want there to be any awkwardness.

Coming out of the shower, I see that she had laid out something to wear already. I find it sort of cute that she would pick out my clothes, never had that growing up. When I was older enough to walk, my mother told me to pick what I want to go to school and I did.

Walking back downstairs, I can see that they are talking and Katniss is smiling, although I do not know if that is a fake one or not.

"So what did I miss," I say.

"Well Thom, here has been appointed as the Mayor of District Twelve," says Katniss.

"Really?" I say. "Congratulations."

"Well when you two left for the Capitol, an official came and told us that we could now choose the Mayor and to have everyone vote on one. I of course nominated you."

"Me?" I say. "Mayor? No, that is quite alright, thank you for the gesture though. I do not think I have the stomach for politics."

"That is what Sae said," says Millie.

There is a knock on the door, and when I open I see Cressida there standing with a desert in hand.

"Hello Cressida, welcome to our real home, come in," I say.

Everyone exchanges greetings and we all sit down to have a good meal. Walking back to the kitchen I can see that Katniss is taking out the Wild Boar and placing it on the serving plates that her mother had ever since she was first married.

We all are marveled by the Cressida's stories of how the other districts are being rebuilt. She doesn't mind that Thom and Millie ask tons of questions about the New Capitol seeing how they had never been there. They ask us about the war, but no one really wants to bring up the nightmares that we still have.

"Sometimes it takes me a couple of days to finally fall asleep," says Cressida.

"I know the feeling," says Katniss. "Your body finally gives in, and has no choice but to fall asleep. The whole time you feel like if you do not know if you are asleep already or still awake."

She nods and says that the new drugs from the Capitol have helped her with the night terrors and that she has been resting somewhat comfortably.

The only awkwardness was when Cressida asked Katniss about Gale.

"I don't really know what he is up to," says Katniss. "After the trial, we haven't been in contact with each other."

"Oh, that is a shame," says Cressida. "I wanted to thank him for how he helped me through the last time we spent in the Capitol."

After about a couple of hours, I find that everyone begins to have the look of tiredness so they start to make their goodbyes.

"It was a pleasure catching up Katniss, and meeting you Cressida," says Thom.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Mayor," says Cressida. "Remember we have a schedule interview tomorrow morning about where you see District Twelve in the next couple of months."

"Can't wait for it," says Thom.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Peeta. Thom speaks very highly of you, and I can see the reason why," says Millie.

"It was a pleasure meeting you Millie," I say.

As everyone is walking out, Katniss says goodbye to Cressida and tells her that the invitation will be going to the address in the New Capitol.

"Katniss, we will be seeing each tomorrow," says Cressida.

"Oh, I am sorry, I figured that with the interview you would want to go back and get it edited," says Katniss.

"Yes, we do need to edit the film, but we have to get tomorrow's day on tape," says Cressida.

"Why," I say. "What happens tomorrow?"

"The fitting of your wedding dress of course," says Cressida.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

A thought comes in my mind as I look up at the night sky, 'a rising fire that burns inside each of us.' We have been through it all, most of it was fabricated for the audience of the Capitol.

The day in the interview when I told the entire population of Panem that I had a crush on the girl from the Seam was the day that it all began. To her, it was a story to gain sympathy from the sponsors.

The second time, when I told them that I wanted to marry her, she thought it was to save our families and ourselves from the punishment of President Snow. She thought it was our only escape, to be able to be safe and live forever together.

I was thinking back to that moment when I mentioned that we were already married and was expecting a child together. Everyone there thought it was to save her, because who could kill the child of the star cross lovers never being able to live their lives in peace.

To her that was all a plan, until I told her that it wasn't. I really did have a crush on her since we were both kids. My desire was to let her know that if we could have, I would have loved to marry her. And in the end, know that I think she would make a great mother.

The door closes and I see her face, unsure of what to make of what Cressida just said. Surely she knows something that we don't. Did the New Capitol get wind of this and did another one of those ridiculous shows where they picked out the one, or is it a gift from President Paylor? No matter who is it was who is providing Katniss with the wedding dress, neither one of us was ready for this, or even had prepared for it.

The last wedding dress that she had on, was designed by Cinna her stylist. I know that the lost of him is what she is currently thinking of. She told me that the last picture that she has of him, is being beaten before the Quarter Quell. I don't think that I would ever be able to tell her that I saw them being executed.

"By order of the Capitol Tribune and President Snow, you are hereby sentenced to execution by means of firing squad for crimes against the Capitol, for counts of treason and for inciting a riot or rebellion. Do you have any last words? Be advised that this is on a five minute delay so anything you may say to the rebels would be edited out." A soldier says.

I can still see their faces, Cinna, Portia and the rest of my prep team stands before the firing squad. I can still hear his voice and still it affects me like it did back then.

"Head hang high everyone," Cinna says. His face is bruised and cut. His appearance is nothing like the one I remember. He still stands tall, with drab color grey clothes, prison clothes.

"Long live the mockingjay," Portia says.

"Soldiers take your position," the lead soldier says. A row of soldiers come out and line up before them.

I start to bang louder, and screaming,

"Stop! They do not know anything!" I say to no one and hope that someone hears me. I slump down to the ground, tears coming from my eyes.

"Portia, Cinna, I am so sorry to have dragged you into this." I say.

"Soldiers take present arms," the lead soldier says. "Soldiers take aim."

The gun shots I can still hear them ring in my mind. I flinch as she turns and grabs me.

"You okay?" she asks.

"Yes," I say. "Just had a long tiring day, how about you?"

She looks at me, and shrugs as she is unsure on how her day has gone.

"Let's see what ugly thing they have chosen for me," she says trying to make it seem like she doesn't care.

"Whatever they chose, you would look beautiful in anything," I say. "Even if we hang undershorts on our head."

She smiles and kisses me.

"Thank you for trying to make me feel better," she says.

"That is what I am here for," I say.

Walking upstairs, with her, there is a sense of uncertainty in the air. What will happen tomorrow, at least with not knowing and having complete control of it, we can still survive that way. This is however different, not knowing what will happen tomorrow and having no control over it, is like going into the Games. The only positive thing that I can think of is that we do not have anyone coming after us.

I stop her at the top of the steps.

"You know that I am there with you tomorrow," I say.

"You better," she says. "I want to see the stars tonight Peeta."

Knowing exactly what to do, I grab a very comfortable comforter from the hallway closet. Opening the window from her bedroom, I see that the same steps to get to the roof. I go through the steps on how to get to the roof with her, and we easily get to the roof.

Near the chimney there is a flat surface that has two sides that are raised in the roof. This is where I place the comforter, the two raised sides stops us from rolling off the roof should we move. She lies down on it, and pats the space next to her.

I lie down next to her and looking straight into her eyes, she doesn't blush this time, but looks straight into my eyes. The passion behind those eyes, its depths are limitless.

"What are you thinking about," I ask.

She pauses, "I am thinking about Cinna."

"I know you would be," I say. "It isn't easy to not think about him, when they mention a dress fitting."

"I wanted to just get married in a simple dress," she says.

"Well we will just have to let them know that tomorrow," I say.

"Do you think that it will be alright," she says.

"I think so," I say. "After all it is our wedding, and I will not let it be ruined by the old or new or any other type of Capitol. This is ours, no one else."

She closes her eyes and scoots closer pressing in her head to my chest.

"Wanted to hear it," she says. "It calms me."

"Your hand on my chest does that to me," I say. "It calms me."

We look up at the stars. The night sky is clear and the moon is hidden today. The stars are more evident tonight than any other night.

"You ever wonder how many they are." I ask,

"One…two…three…four," she starts.

I laugh, and look at her. "I did that exact thing to my father, he let me go one for about twenty minutes," I say.

She smiles and looks at me.

"What number did you get to?" She says.

"Don't remember, but I kept on counting the same stars over and over, or at least that is what I thought I was doing," I say. "They are tons of them,"

"Little windows," she says. "Of people looking down at us, right?"

"Right," I say.

The little things that I say, she takes it to heart. Even when I do not think she is paying attention she is. The first time she did this it totally caught me off guard.

"Your favorite color," I begin to say. "It's green?"

"That's right," she quickly responds. "And yours is orange."

"Orange?" I say. I don't remember liking orange.

"Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset." She says. "At least, that's what you told me once."

"Thank you," I say.

I can see how her look has changed and now it is more of a soft look towards me. She doesn't hate me?

"You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you double-knot your shoelaces." She says all together.

And now she knows about the windows in the sky, also something about a face I do when I sketch, which of course I have to trust that she knows more than I do.

I grab the ends of the comforter and like I did in the house in District Four, I do here as well, I wrap us in it. She places her hand on my chest for me, and her ear to hear the heart beat for her. I place my arm around her so that can rest in my arms. This is one of the best moments every night for me, is this moment before she falls asleep.

I don't take it lightly, thinking about the horrors that she had to deal with before the Games of her father dying, then to have to go through the killings of the Games, having to relive it every night. This moment I see it as the moment where she finally allows someone to come inside. It is how she can rest peacefully. To know that you have that sort of effect on someone, I love that she would trust me so much so.

Right before she falls asleep, I whisper in her ear.

"You know that I love you," I say.

"Hmm hmm," she says. "Real."

Looking at the stars for a couple more minutes, I think about my father, watching us from the stars. He was always there for me, when I needed him. Now I have to be there for her whenever she needs me.

"You think about your family now," he told me that day before the Quarter Quell.

Looking down at her, my whole family right now, she is the only thing that matters to me, going to sleep. I place my second arm around her basically embracing her.

She is my whole family.

Sleeping, I think about our garden back in the roof of the Training Center. I can hear the wooden wind chimes, sounding through the wind. I see a small little mockingjay just sitting there on a branch of a tree. It looks at me intently, studying my movements, jumping from small part of the branch. It starts to sing, the melody is something that I remember. The same four letter note is being sung through the wind.

I see the bird flying, and then all of the sudden without any reason or purpose, the bird catches on fire. It doesn't fall and dies, but it flies even faster, until the fire has been put out. It then slows down and comes to view. Lifting my finger, it lands there, and it no longer a black mockingjay, but a white bird that just isn't burned but transformed.

The bird continues to sing the four letter note over and over, until my eyes open and I see the sunlight, and can hear the birds now singing.

Turning to her, I see that she is there snug in me. I move her hair from her face, and she just sighs knowing that it is another day that is beginning. She is always the best thing that I have in my life.

"Katniss," I say.

"Hmm, another five minutes?" say Katniss.

"Okay," I say. "Five more minutes only, we have to get started on today and prepare ourselves."

The thought that today, they will bring her the dress that they would like her to wear. It is the moment when I will tell them that it is the one thing that belongs to her, to us, and we won't share it with anyone.

Kissing her on her forehead, she moans again.

"Five minutes already?" she says.

"Yes," I say.

She opens her eyes, and sees that the whole night we spent it on the roof of her house. It felt like we were back in the little house by the lake. It felt like we were back in the cave, just us.

"Eggs and bread?" I say to her.

"Hmm, sounds good," she says.

I help her up to her feet, and down the roof and into her window. Once inside she runs back into her bed and into the covers.

"Breakfast in bed?" she says placing the covers over her head.

I stand there laughing at the sight of a hunter who is not a morning person.

"Aren't hunters' morning people?" I say. "I remember seeing you at the back of the bakery in the early morning, much earlier than this."

"Before, I had to, that is the only way we survived, now that we have food," she says. "I can afford to sleep in."

"Okay," I say. "Be right back."

Walking downstairs, I make my way to the kitchen and cook up some quick scramble eggs. Grabbing a little bit of cheese, I place it over the eggs, remembering that it was her favorite.

Walking up the steps, I hear the meowing, and see that Buttercup was at the top of the stairs waiting for food.

"No, sorry, this is for Katniss, you will have to wait," I say.

Buttercup just meows and walks away obviously not happy with the response. In the room I see that the smell of hot eggs has perked up Katniss to a point where her eyes are wide open.

"Would you care for anything else miss?" I say in my best Capitol accent.

"Oh yes, but it is a secret," she says trying to contain her laughing. "Do come closer."

I place the food on the nightstand and lean in.

"Yes?" I say.

She whispers.

"To know how much you love me," she says giving me a kiss.

"With all my heart," I say.

Just then there is someone who just walked into the living room. Must be Sea, she is probably going to come and make breakfast. I should go downstairs and tell her that I had already started it for her.

I incline my ear trying to hear the pots and pans clanking in the kitchen but do not hear it. Instead I hear whispers and footsteps up the stairs.

Placing my finger on my lips, I tell Katniss to be quiet. Walking over to my side of the bed, I take out the knife that is always under my pillow.

Walking over to the door, I slowly push it half way closed. Through the crack on the door, I see them walking up the steps trying to surprise her.

Placing my knife in my belt, I wait for them to try and open the door. Once they do, they all yell.

"Surprise."

This is when I walk from behind the door and yell back.

"Look out!"

They all shriek, frighten from someone yelling from behind. Katniss burst out laughing and they all start to tell me that it was un-gentlemanlike to do that.

"Oh sorry," I say.

Katniss's prep team all surround Katniss and tell her that today they are going to go over hair and makeup choices and that they have a big surprise for her.

"Is it her wedding dress?" I say.

"Well yes," says Flavius. "How did you know?"

"We had dinner with Cressida yesterday and she told us about a fitting today," says Katniss.

Upset they all look to each other. I guess the wedding dress was a secret. We all knew it would come one day, so why the secret?

"I don't think that Cressida told you everything so we will wait for them to arrive," says Flavius.

They shoo me away and tell me that someone will come and get me when they are done. Going downstairs, I see that Cressida is just coming up the porch when I open the door.

She is carrying a very large box, which I can tell is the secret wedding dress that Katniss and I were not suppose to know. Behind her is the cameraman carrying the equipment and the microphone man carrying another large box.

"Good morning Peeta you are looking much better from yesterday," says Cressida. "Is the prep team here already?"

"Yes, thank you, a good night sleep is all I needed," I say. "The prep team tried to surprise us, but we were already up."

She asks me if she could set up in the living room. I tell them that it is okay, and ask if they needed anything. They said that they had already eaten, and that they were okay.

Cressida walks over and hands me an envelope. She tells me not to open it until after Katniss opens hers. After about an hour or so, I hear the prep team call out that they are ready. They walk down first and behind her, Katniss with a beautiful soft color makeup, hair in a very elaborate but beautiful braid.

She is in her rob, which leads me to believe that they will change her in the downstairs room that from what Katniss has told me was her mom's old room.

Cressida tells Katniss that she looks lovely and hands her an envelope, telling her that she read it before she opens the box.

She stares at the envelope and notices something that causes her to quickly open the envelope. Ripping out the letter she begins to read it, and then after a couple of seconds she places her hand over her mouth and I can see the tears welling up in her eyes. Once down, she smiles, and hands it to me to read.

"Dearest Katniss,

My greatest desire is that you may finally be in a place of joy and happiness with the one you truly love. If you are being handed this letter, then know that I made every effort to make it to this day but couldn't. Traditionally, I would have preferred if the one who truly won your heart (the boy with the bread), where not around to see it, but I know that you would want him there. I had known since the day he held your hand in the opening ceremony that he would be the one who would win your heart. I know that you will make me proud.

Remember, chin up, he is going to love you forever,

Cinna,

P.S. I am still betting on you."

She opens the box and takes out the dress holding it as delicate as if it were made of glass. She moves to the mirror and there sees herself in the reflection. Turning back and looking at Cressida.

"When? How?" she says.

"In his cell, they found these sketches hidden under his bed. Plutarch didn't even find this until after the war. We had only found his sketch book in his house, but not these sketches. The instructions were specific to the smallest of details. We have had the best remaining stylist working on this for months now. Once completed, the instructions where to not to deliver it, until you were to get married," says Cressida.

In her hand she has the last gift that Cinna could have given her, his last creation. It is as if Katniss could laugh, and cry at the same time, her face and her body don't know which one to do, so she just stands there holding Cinna's wedding dress that he had always wanted her to wear when she did decide to marry.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

Peaks and Valleys that is what I think of when I think of our lives. We have our peaks and our valleys, and yet it seems that it is always the highest mountains and the lowest valleys. It is never easy and it is always very emotionally draining.

My fingers run the borders of the envelope. If her envelope release such emotion that she is there on the sofa of our house crying and laughing, unable to speak, or even reason with, I wonder what my envelope would do.

I didn't really know Cinna, the way Katniss knew him. We each had our own stylist for the Games, mines was Portia. Could it be from her, this letter? Some message from a ghost that I see from time to time in my deepest nightmares being shot?

It is a smaller envelope than Katniss, it edges make it seem like it is a card more than a letter. Turning it over to the front I see my name written in a cursive handwriting that is both overly expressive. It is just my first name but it takes up the entire envelope.

"This was found with the other envelope?" I ask Cressida.

"There were four things found hidden in his mattress. It was in the stitching of mattress lining, two envelopes, a sketch of the dress, and directions on how to make it," she says.

I stand there spinning slowly the envelope, over and over.

"Well aren't you going to open it," I hear coming from the sofa.

Katniss had finally cried enough, to be coherent. She is standing walking over to me. The dress is being hung and the prep team is in the corner there upset that they would have to start on her makeup and hair all over again. I don't think that it matter to Katniss right now really. This is one of the only times that I had seen her crying and it is okay.

Turning it over, I open the envelope and take out the card.

"Peeta,

Do not let go of her hand; ever.

Cinna."

It is the only thing that needed to be said. I couldn't have thought of it better, nor would I have even thought of it. It truly was the first time that I knew that I would love her forever.

I can still remember it as if it happened yesterday. The first time I touch her hands. The smoothness of them, at first caught me off guard. I had always thought that the hands of a hunter would be rough.

She looks at it, and smiles, holding my hand. It is that very gesture that I remember everything about that day.

I look down at her hand, and realize that everything in the arena has grown silent. Time has literally gone still. I can feel the same warm feeling from her hands. I can remember shaking her hand back in District Twelve. This isn't a handshake, but a hand holding. I am guessing people have caught on to my longer than I like glances at Katniss and realize that there was something there on my part.

It could have been the oneness of our District when Katniss volunteered for her sister. Whatever the reason it doesn't matter, I just wish for this moment to last a little bit longer. Everything doesn't matter at this time. I can see the crowd yelling something, but no words come out.

I turn and catch for the first time how beautiful she looks. Her hair beautifully crafted and the flames just ignite those grey eyes of passion. The red, yellow and orange glows of the fire dance across her face, like strands of hair. She is on fire, and I am captivated by her for a couple of minutes before I see that she has turned to me. I slowly look away so that she doesn't notice that I wasn't looking at the crowd but her. Try and focus I tell myself, if not you can lose your balance and end up falling along with her.

"Never," I say.

"You better not," she says.

Holding her hand from that moment always felt right, and I had always wanted to just hold it a little bit longer.

"Oh, Katniss, you have ruined your makeup," says Flavius. "We are going to just have to start all over again."

"This time lets use waterproof makeup," says Venia.

"Oooo, let's use the new one that was just developed," says Octavia with a sense of happiness that she had this opportunity.

Our hands finally release as Octavia moves Katniss to a mirror to take a look at what they could do.

Cressida hands me my box. When I open it, it is a standard black and white tux.

"Yours was also designed by Cinna," says Cressida. "From what we can piece together, they had worked on this for the original wedding, of course when the Quarter Quell was announced. They destroyed the originals, seeing that the Capitol didn't get a chance to use it."

"Was that when they started to work on the dress that Katniss wore in the interview?" I ask.

"Yes," says Cressida. "They both worked tirelessly trying to finish this phony copies while the original designs where never found by the Capitol. They must have started to redesign it when they heard that you had escaped."

"Katniss, we really have to get you into makeup," says Flavius.

She looks at me; it is like we do not have to speak to know what each other is thinking. All we have to do is look down to our hands and now that we will miss each other for this brief moment and that we are thinking of each other.

It took only a small card and one sentence to takes me back to when I knew.

Cressida looks at me with a smile.

"When did you know?" she says.

"The day I held her hand," I say. "And the funny thing is, she held it right back. The outfits that Cinna and Portia made for us made us a little bit nervous with the fire and all. There was a moment when I looked at her, and the fire literally was dancing with her hair. The intensity in her eyes was something that was only heightened by the fire. She held tight my hand and so did I, so that neither of us fell off the chariot."

We both sit down in the living room. Making ourselves comfortable she asks me questions about Katniss.

"You two certainly have been through a lot," she says.

"Yes, we had to deal with a lot," I say. "I realized that we were only kids when started this whole ordeal and now well, we are trying to figure out, are we still kids, or adults?"

"Do me a favor," she asks one of her assistant. "Can you let the prep team know that we would not be gathering the footage today that we thought? I have another idea."

The assistant walks upstairs and a couple of minutes later I see Katniss walking down with a look of relief.

She mouths the words, 'thank you,' to both of us while the prep team obviously not happy with the decision walks behind her.

"Thank you so much, but we will need you next week for the President's visit," says Cressida. "That is a far more pressing matter. I need you to think of a very subtle yet elegant look for Katniss."

You can see the immediate transformation from upset, to sheer joy in the faces of the prep team. They are always happy to for a next project. They give their goodbyes and that they will be back next week for the President's visit.

"So now," says Cressida. "I wanted to ask a question and kind of go over the whole relationship from the beginning, nothing too in depth but more of a supplement to yesterday. Upon speaking with Peeta, I realize that we don't really know the full back story, so I wanted the people of Panem to know a little bit about that."

Uneasy Katniss sits next to me. It is one thing to talk about the wedding, and the rebuilding but to talk about personal things is another thing.

"One of the questions that I wanted to know was, the song you sang," says Cressida. "We have heard it before, when Rue died in the Games, you sang it to her. It must mean a great to you, Katniss. Can you tell me a little bit about it?"

"That is something I had always wanted to ask you," I say.

"Well, that song my father would sing it to me when I was scared," she starts. "I really don't know where he got it from. I would sing it to my sister when it thundering outside."

"Is that why you sang it to Rue?" says Cressida.

The question hangs in the air. Dead silence. You could hear a pin drop in the upstairs bedroom with the door closed. There are only a few topics that I know would cause Katniss to shut down, the death of her sister Prim, and the death of Rue. She really did care a lot for Rue. There are so many similarities between Rue and Prim, that I believe she felt that Rue was her sister.

"Oh, I am sorry, I didn't mean to…" starts Cressida.

"It was the only thing that I could think of," she continues. "I could see that she was scared of being alone especially in that moment when there was nothing I could do to help. It is still tough to think about and much less relive it."

"So when you sang it to Peeta," begins Cressida.

"It was actually to me that I was singing it to," she interrupts. "I was afraid."

"Of what?" I say.

She looks at me, with tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Of losing you again to the Capitol," she says.

"You won't," I say.

"I am sorry," says Katniss wiping her tears. "The thought of it still gets me emotional."

"It is okay. I am sorry that I brought it up," says Cressida.

I place my arm around her which causes her to scoot over closer to me. She holds my hand and I hand her a tissue. She grabs it and begins to wipe the tear from her eyes.

"It is a very beautiful song," says Cressida. "I am sure that you don't mind hearing it Peeta."

"She has such a beautiful voice, so no, I don't mind," I say. "The first time she sang it to me, was out by the willow tree in the Seam."

"There is an actual willow tree?" says Cressida.

"Well I don't know if that is where her father was referring to, but it does match," I say. "We were walking, and all of sudden, I had one of my episodes. We tried everything, until she started to sing. The words to the song just began to resonate in my mind, so that it caused me to calm down."

She smiles at me, and I smile back at her.

"Plus I like the fact that she says that she loves me at the end," I say with a wide grin. "Cannot get enough of that."

"I think with just that, it is enough for me to get something on the air," says Cressida.

She excuses herself and tells me that the following week they will be back for the President visit and to be ready for amount of photographers that follow the President.

The next couple of days we see District Twelve come back alive. It is like the rebuilding as it came closer and closer to the end people started to move back to their homes.

The bakery was nearly completed when the brick ovens arrived from the Capitol. It was some new technology that Beetee's team was working on. Inductive wave technology they call it. Something about cooking quicker and holding in the juices.

The manual for the darn thing was as big as the books we had back in school. I would spend the nights reading it, there in the living room with Katniss. She didn't really find it boring, or at least that is what she would tell me.

We would spend time on the family book, remembering people and places that we had been. I hand her my makeshift map of the woods of District Twelve which she fills in the blanks on where specific game trails where the best hiding places where.

Effie would send Katniss color schemes for the wedding, and of course it would just sit there in the pile of other unanswered mail that was addressed to her. She would call, and asked if Katniss had seen it, which her response would always be.

"Of course Effie, I am curious on what your favorite is," she says.

Always leaving it up to Effie meant that she didn't really have to think about it. I of course would always re-check and make sure that it wasn't getting too out of hand. The amount of guests was our main concern and how we wanted to keep it small.

"You cannot hold the event of the century with only fifty people, Peeta," she told me once.

"The event of the century?" I say. "Effie it is just a wedding ceremony and we want it to be just our close friends and family, which you are a part of."

It was the one thing that we could never get a good final number on. She would try and sneak people that we never even met into the list and we would always return the list with the names crossed out.

It was only until the day before the President's arrival that we finally got the list down to seventy five people, which of course we will revise next week and the next week after that, until we are up to two hundred and then Effie would be happy.

The night before the arrival of the President we received guests from the New Capitol security team. We had offered Peeta's old house to where the President could stay should she want to. They had arrived early to make sure that it was secured.

After the all clear they post guards in front and in the back of the house. Also post guards in the entry of the Victor's Village.

"There is one good thing about this," I say.

"What's that?" says Katniss.

"No reporters allowed, or prep team, or even Effie Trinket, without clearing it with the security team of the President of Panem," I say.

"We should have the President over more often," says Katniss.

The night goes without any issues and the morning comes and everything is prepared. The Justice Building has been completed, and even the Square looks the same but now with colorful banners and pavers on the road. It actually is made to look like a Town Square from before the Dark Days.

The stores would not be open until the follow week but the completion of the Square means that everything is completed in District Twelve. The houses from the Seam have been rebuilt, even in the Merchant City of District Twelve.

A new building has been constructed where the Hobb use to be. Everyone has speculations on a new market for trade, but not even the builders know what it is for as there are no names or listing of the spaces that they built.

The whole town is required to be in the Square at noon although this time there is no check-in, there is no peacekeepers going door to door trying to see if they are all in the Square. We were told that we are to be on stage with the President as she makes her address. Our prep teams spent most of the morning getting us to be camera ready. Cressida preps us on the questions that the reporter would ask should they have the opportunity to do so.

Walking towards the Justice Building, the amount of people is staggering. Most of them are coming in anticipation of the President's address to the completion of the rebuilding of all Thirteen Districts, the unification of all of Panem, to before the Dark Days.

Once on stage we see the amount of cameras as they are placed on the roof tops of the Square and photographers in the crowds. As can expected both Katniss and I are more nervous than before, seeing the amount of people there. We have been reassured that neither I nor Katniss would be scheduled to speak after the President.

She greets us inside the Justice Building and says that everything looks beautiful. We of course thank her again for the use of her house back in the Capitol and her high speed train.

"Come let's get this over with," says President Paylor as we all walk outside to the stage.

The crowd cheers for all three of us and we wave towards everyone. Sitting down on stage we see that President Paylor is standing at the podium. She takes out her notes and begins to speak.

"My fellow citizens of the great country of Panem welcome to a significant moment in our history. If history has taught us one thing it is that if we do not learn from it, we are doomed to repeat it. Freedom is something that we have all taken to granted, myself included. It took a boy and a girl to stand up to a government, to make us realize something. They were not doing it to incite a rebellion, they did it for a simple reason that they had shared with me a couple weeks ago. They did it because they wanted to live.

Inside the heart of every man, woman, and child beats a heart the longs to be free. It is our right, and no one has the right to deny anyone the right to be free. We have rebuilt this country from the ashes of the other. We have all lost loved ones that we will never get back but it is in their memory that although this, stone and wood buildings all look the same it is the mentality that we must change in order for this New Panem to succeed.

It is that new mentality that will be revealed today. It is a new project that will be started here in this district, by a boy who was in love with a girl from the Seam.

We open the Square today, but we also open today the 'Primrose Center for the Lost Children of Panem,' there every child that has lost a parent will be welcomed by arms of parents who have lost a child.

It is also where every resident of the district should they need food, shelter, anything, even if it is to talk, can come and either give or receive.

It is a new initiative where we are going to Protect each other, Renew each other, Inspire each other and Motivate each other, it is called the P.R.I.M. Initiative.

Each district will have its own center so that we can finally come together as one country. This is a dawn of a new age, where we will pull together as one.

What we do now, is what we will be known for. We can be a better Panem, we can be better people. It is inside everyone, and we are called to be what we had always hoped we could be.

Thank you."

The crowd starts to cheer and roar, looking at them so filled with pride in their own district I wonder if things will finally change. I look over to her, and I can see that a tear had fallen from her cheek. I reach out and grab her hand, which causes her to turn and look at me.

"I hope that it was okay, that I used Prim's memory. She wanted to help so many people, and now she can help almost everyone in Panem," I say.

She looks in and whispers.

"I didn't think that I could love you more than I already did," she says. "And now you do something like this, and I realize that I love you, even more."

We both stand and walk hand in hand behind President Paylor inside a new Justice Building, to the dawn of a new Panem.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

Everything is a blur these past weeks. With the Harvest Festival and the Wedding quickly approaching there is a routine that I follow every morning. It helps me keep my sanity, I guess to know exactly what you are going to do exactly when you are going to do it.

Katniss however likes to always come and shake up my routine. I have seen her grow into this beautiful woman before my eyes. We continue to be private people with others, but with each other we have come to a new level of closeness. Doctor Aurellis continue to check in on us from time to time, wanting to know how we are doing, and how many episodes I have had. They have had lessen as the weeks passed by, and when I have one; Katniss seems to always be there to help me through it.

Every morning that I wake up, I always find her there next to me. Sometimes she would go into the forest to hunt. We would tell each other that we loved each other every day and that I would never let her go. We promised that to each other, many months ago.

This morning, is the beginning of the Harvest Festival. It is a four day event in the end of fall, just before the winter time. It is where all of the merchants of each district bring out their crops and products. There are games, and great food, and everyone is invited to come.

The bakery had been working on overdrive for the last couple of weeks in preparation for the festival. With the new help that I have in the bakery we have been able to meet the demand of the people of District Twelve.

Ever since the announcement of President Paylor we have had an increase of people coming to see the new Prim Center. We have had many people volunteer and actually give of their time to help the children of the war that have lost their parents. Many parents who have lost someone come and visit the children. Some even start the adoption process of the kids. Many of the kids learn things, like the arts, and athletics, and how to be happy in this new world that we have started to create.

The morning is no different than any other. Waking up I see her there lying besides me. Lately she had been going to sleep late waiting for me to come home from the bakery. She says that she can't sleep unless I am there with her.

Kissing her on the top of her head, she begins to move her hands and legs, stretching.

"Good morning," she says. "How did you sleep?"

The question leaves me a little confused. Is there an emotion higher than pure happiness? Lying here with her that is the one thing that I can think of, of how happy I am right now.

"How do you think, knowing that I would wake up next to you," I say. "And that in only four days we will have our wedding."

Although we have been traditionally married for months now, this would make it legal to every district and to the Capitol that we are officially married. It is the one thing that I believe she deserves more than anything, even though she might not say it. I remember the very few times that she would talk about her parent's marriage before he died.

She told me that they would dance in the kitchen with no music on. It was one of the reasons why I wanted to do that with her in our little house next to the lake. I wanted to know what it is like to be in a marriage like that, so magical, and so unbelievably beautiful that paintings and writing are done about them.

"Four days," she repeats. "It almost seems so close and yet so far."

It is only four days and yes I cannot wait until I see her there with me under willow tree. Finally got Effie down to sixty people, which was a miracle in itself. I don't even know sixty people, but the list includes people from Plutarch, to officials to mayors, to even people from the council, the only people that we did invite that we knew, where our fellow Victors, well those that we had a sort of twisted friendship with. Annie, and little Liam, from District Four, will be on the next train here. Katniss's mother will be coming with them and staying with us in our house. There was even an invitation sent to the Hawthrone family, although Gale's name was not on the list, an adamant request from Katniss.

It is a private event so therefore no photographers have been allowed. Security was on loan from the Capitol and they will make sure that it stays a private event.

"I am just glad that we had help in preparing for all this," I say. "Effie really has out done herself here."

Effie knew how inexperience we were with this whole thing. She had taken it upon herself to make the necessary preparations, from the food, to the flowers, to the linen, and to even the silverware. There were even talks of a live band, but I never heard if it was confirmed or not.

"Is everything ready for our guests that arrive today?" says Katniss.

"Your mother arrives on the 11:00 AM train," I say. "I will be there to pick her up. Annie and Liam are coming after the 3:00 PM train because of school. Doctor Aurellis is coming tomorrow, is there anyone that I am missing?"

She stands up and kisses me, saying no and thank you for picking her up.

"I have to run down to the Festival and make sure that the booth is set up," I say. "You want to come?"

She shakes her head no.

"Wanted to get one more hunting day before the Festival," she says. "But I will pass by afterwards to have lunch."

I know that Katniss loves her mother very much so and although they have had their ups and downs, I know that they have worked hard to rebuild their relationship. I do know thought, that mothers can be quite a handful, so her wishing to go out into the woods, is understandable.

I kiss her on her cheek.

"Okay," I say. "I will save you some cheese buns."

After taking a shower and going downstairs, I find that the day is already starting and that more than likely I am already late Grabbing a piece of bread and a fruit I run out heading to the Festival.

The walk is cheerful, with many people already out and walking around. The cool temperature makes it quite comfortable to walk around. The fact that today is the last day of school, many of the children will be out of school early for the winter.

A couple of little kids walking come up to me asking me for cupcakes; the innocence of children that would believe that I would carry cupcakes in my pants pocket. This never really happened in the old days when my father was the owner of the bakery. Hope is definitely spreading throughout the district and with that, joy.

"Sorry kids," I say putting my pant pocket inside out. "Not until the Festival, but tell your parents to bring to the booth."

The Square has many people going in and out of the stores. The butcher is seeing the most visitors this early in the morning, as most people have to prepare for their meals. The blacksmith is seen making large metal doors for what I can only assume are houses. Coming into the bakery, William welcomes me.

"Hey Peeta," says William. "How goes it? How is Katniss?"

William comes from the school of culinary arts in District Five. One of the many centers that is currently open for anyone who wants to learn to be a chef. William came to District Twelve with his wife Abigail for a chance at a new life. He graduated in the top of his class and chose to come and work under me.

Don't really know what I could teach him, but he always tells me that he wanted to learn from the best.

"Katniss is fine William, how is Abby?" I say.

"She is great, we are so excited about the Festival," he says.

"Remember that we have to close at 11:00 AM in order to be at the booth," I say. "Is the booth ready?"

"Everything was just taken by Daniel and Susan," he says. "They are the first shift at the booth; we come on around 5:00 PM."

Looking around I find that William is very particular about keeping everything in order. My mother would have loved him. He is an eager person that loves to know new techniques on how to frost and bake.

"This is wonderful work, William," I say looking at a new design that William has done. "Were you using an accelerant?"

"Yes," he says. "Was just doodling, and thought it might be interesting."

"It is," I say. "I use to that all the time, we called it experimentation. My mother would call it a waste of time."

Looking at the clock, I can see that the Festival will start at 1:00 PM, which is enough time to get to the Festival from my house.

Walking out of the bakery, I can see the train station from here. The stone pavers that they placed on the road of the Square give it a sense of a place, where people can come and relax. The train station is fairly empty seeing how the 11:00 AM train doesn't arrive but for thirty minutes.

In the new platform there are four or five benches meant for people who are coming to wait for love ones to arrive. With the Capitol now allowing people to travel in between the districts and the Capitol, the train system had to be upgraded to include passenger cars. There are a couple of people sitting on the benches already waiting for the 11:00 AM train from District Four to arrive.

Sitting down I have a little bit of time until she arrives. I start to make the list in my head. Her room, check. Clean sheets, clean towers in the guest bathroom, check. Lunch prepared, check.

Everything has been prepared for this moment. Katniss's mother has not yet step foot onto District Twelve since the bombing. She has called multiple times, even after the President's visit to the district.

'Peeta,' says Katniss.

'Yes,' I say.

She hands me the phone.

'Hello?' I say.

'Peeta, I saw the President's visit to the district,' says Katniss's Mother.

'Oh, hello there Mrs. Everdeen,' I say. 'I wanted to ask your permission as well, but I didn't know how to ask. Is it okay?'

'Of course it is,' she says. 'You have always done right by my children, so I wanted to call you and say thank you for it.'

That night, we talked about the memories of Prim, and yes it is still hard for her to talk about it, but it got easier as the night went on.

"Please stand clear of the platform, as the train is now arriving," an announcer said over the speakers.

I stand and fix my shirt, making sure that it is tucked in. I see a scuff on my boots so I get on my knee place on finger on tongue and begin to clean the scuff with my fingers.

I hear someone clear their throat and can see the shoes of medical personnel. Standing up slowly I see her there with a small bag in her hands.

"Mrs. Everdeen, can I take the bag for you?" I say.

"Well you may take my bag, but Mrs. Everdeen was my mother," she says. "I would be proud, if one day you could call me…mom."

There are no words that I can think of right now. One of the things that I longed for in my life was family. It has been so long since I have had a parent in my life. The lost of my family still weighs on my mind and in my heart. The silence is a little bit too long.

"For now though, you can take my bag," she says.

I grab her bag, and we begin to walk towards the Victors Village.

"She needed one more day out in the forest huh," she says.

"Um," I start to say, unsure of what I should say, how to word it so that her feeling at not hurt.

"It is quite alright, Peeta," she says. "She loved to go out with Father when she was young."

"She will be there for lunch," I say. "And then we can go to the Festival, if you are up to it."

She looks around and I can see that the same woman that I met back in District Four is not the same woman that stands before me. It is almost like stepping back on District Twelve has transformed her back to who she was before she left.

The conversations are little and long in between. We just walk back to the Victors Village. As soon as the door closes behind us in Katniss's house she drops the bags on the floor, walks over to a chair, sits down very gently and finally breaks down.

It is difficult seeing a home where you had both your daughters in. The things that I realize now, is not so much that Katniss was avoiding the awkwardness of her mother, but she knew that when she saw her, that the emotions would rise back up to the surface.

I walk over to the kitchen grabbing a tissue and a glass of water. I hand it to her and place the glass of water on the coffee table. She looks at me and smiles.

"Guessing you have a lot of practice," she says.

"You could say that," I say.

"It is just a little too much to be back in the same house where…" she starts until she starts to cry again.

I sit down on the coffee table and she finally looks up.

"Are you hungry?" I ask.

"Not really," she says. "Aren't we waiting for Katniss."

I stand up and walk to the kitchen grabbing a small piece of bread and some berries.

"I don't think she would mind if we had something in our stomach," I say. "Believe me it will help."

"I am sorry," she starts. "Here I am crying on what is supposed to be a joyous occasion."

"It is okay," I say. "You are welcome to cry as much as you want, and whenever you want."

Just then I hear the back door open and turn around. I see her coming in and placing the game bag on the table. She walks over and see her mother there trying to pull herself together.

Without saying a word, she kneels in front of her mom. When Katniss's mother see her their arms stretch out, and finally they embrace.

"Hi mom," she says.

She turns and asks me to take her bag to her old room. Walking over to her bag, I pick it up and place it in the downstairs bedroom. Then finally coming out to the living room I see that both of them are standing and looking at me.

"Come here," says Katniss's mother.

I walk over and they both embrace me.

We all get a small bite to eat and walk towards the Festival that is currently already going full swing. The festival is actually located on the road to the school. The booths are lined up on the road towards the school and surrounded the field next to it.

"Elephant ears," says Katniss out of the blue.

"Elephant ears?" I repeat.

"Once a couple years ago, you took us to the Harvest Festival, and bought us Elephant ears," says Katniss.

"I remember that," says Katniss's mother. "You two were hopped up on sugar that it took you almost have the night to get to sleep."

I grab all three of us some candied apples and walk through the booths trying out different things here and there. Seeing the seamstress newest creations and how a simple dress is just beautiful.

Finally getting to our booth, I find William and Abby there being bombarded by little kids asking for cupcakes and elephant ears with powder sugar.

"Hello there William, how goes our little booth?" I say.

"It has gone very well, so much so that we actually do not need you today," he says.

"Really?" I say.

"Yes, take the day off, you deserve it, and you have your wife and your mother-in-law with you," he says.

"Well thank you guys," I say.

They hand me a special plate that they had been saving under the booth. Upon taking off the cover I see what it is and smile.

"Here; I have something for you," I say to Katniss.

She takes off the covers and there is a perfect little cheese bun just for her. She takes it, and breaks it in half. Handing the half to me, she holds my hand and there in the distance I see it.

Katniss's mother had found a bench to sit down in and take it all in.

"Are you okay?" says Katniss.

"I am fine," she says. "Just remembering everything, we had some happy times. Go, and spend time with him."

We walk off just a couple of feet when we finally come to it; the swings there in the playground of the school.

I get behind one and she of course giggles and sits in the swing. I pull back the chains on the swing and let her go. I can see her feet kicking in the air trying to get higher.

Free to go higher, free to be happy, free to be ourselves and not have to hide any longer. The Harvest Festival can show us the one thing that we always knew.

That it is just us in our own little world. Right now I am pushing the girl of my dreams on a swing set in the playground of our old school.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

My eyes slowly open and it is peacefully quiet in our room. I cannot even remember the last nightmare or episode. I make my mind remember and after about five minutes, nothing comes to mind. Could it be that being with her has helped both my body and my mind heal?

I look down at her today. Ever since I was five I saw her and she was beautiful there, and beautiful now. I make the effort to remain perfectly still, wishing that she would sleep just a couple more minutes.

The thing that I have realized is that we both deserve to be happy after all that we have gone through. The trick that I have found is that if I could make her happy, then in turn she makes me happy. We help each other and not ourselves. She truly is the reason why I am happy.

I can hear some noise downstairs, and can only imagine it is Sae or Katniss's mother. I would assume that they would have slept in, especially since we had a family dinner yesterday and where up late talking. After a while, I can feel Katniss begin to get up.

She does this little twitch that I can feel right before she wakes up, funny how you can tell the little things of people if you can find a way to pay attention. Like if it was too cold and I had to put on a t-shirt at night, she would run her hand through the hole of my sleeve to find a warm place to lay her hand. I have been seeing the sleeves of my t-shirt have a stretched out right sleeve.

She moves a little bit, and I know that she is awake. Probably we are both trying to stand still for each other. My hand reaches around her until I reach her bare skin. Just as I am about to reach her rib, I hear.

"Don't even think about it," she says.

"What?" I say holding back the laughter.

"Even your hands are loud." She says with a smile in her voice.

Of course I had been working on it. These past weeks we have gone into the woods to hunt a couple of time. Once we even went to check on our little house.

'What about building a fence around it?' I say with regards to security.

'A fence around the entire lake?' she says.

'Well it is an idea,' I say.

The hunting has gotten better, and although it will never be like Katniss, my feet have gotten quieter.

"I will show you quiet," I say beginning to tickle her. She starts to squirm trying to get away but she is trapped in the sheets.

"Peeta," she says laughing. "Peeta, please stop."

She reaches up and kisses me passionately which of course stops my hands immediately. My whole body goes limp; she sure knows how to get me to stop. After about five minutes, she has me in the palm of her hands.

"Now," she says. "If you want another one of these, you will reframe from tickling me."

Looking at her, she just makes me smile.

"Are you ready?" I say.

"For what?" she says. "Breakfast?"

It has only been fifteen years in the making. Well that is what I have been waiting for. It seems that she has been waiting for breakfast for fifteen years.

"Yes that is exactly what it is, breakfast," I say. "Do you still want to have breakfast with me?"

She puts her hand on my cheek.

"More than ever," she says.

Kissing her hand she smiles and lies down next to me. We hold each other hands looking at it. We both hear the noise downstairs but neither one of us want to make the effort to get up and go check. Neither one of us want to be apart from each other, but knowing that soon, the prep team will get here and we will separate for the entire day getting painfully ready.

"Should we get up?" says Katniss.

"Well that is up to you, I wouldn't mind just staying here with you all day," I say. "We do have to get ready though, people did come for a party."

She stands up and stretches before running back under the covers.

"It is cold," she says.

"Yeah, I could tell last night," I say wheezing as I grab my knee. Always know when it is going to be cold."

She frowns and then tells me "more of a reason to just stay in, and tell them all that it is cancelled."

"Nothing I would love more, but…" I start.

"No, no buts," she says.

"I would love to see you in the dress that Cinna made for you," I say. "I think it is a good way to honor his memory."

She looks at me and knows that I am right. Although we all wish that it could go back to a small ceremony of twenty to thirty people total, this is about more than just us. Cinna wanted her to have this only when she had decided to get married.

"I hate it when you are right," she says pouting. "But I know that I would love to show everyone what a great person he was."

I look over to the side of the bed and find my shirt and undershorts. Putting them on, I slide out of the covers and grab a sweater and some sweat pants. She puts them on and we walk together downstairs.

Reaching the downstairs we are immediately aware of the amount of people in our little house. I see little Liam is running around being chased by April. Guessing it is our relationship but backwards.

"Hey guys," I say. "Got something that I want to show you."

Both of them stop and look at me.

"Hi Peeta," says April.

I stick out my hands and take them to the living room. Getting them to sit down on the sofa, I walk to the closet and get out some paint brushes and water colors.

"How many of you know how to paint?" I say.

Their eyes open wide as in school there are no art classes. They will be starting them in the PRIM institute but not until next year.

"Peeta," says Katniss waving me over to her.

"Yes," I say.

"Do you think it is a good idea to give them paint?" says Katniss.

"It is something new that the Doctor Aurellis gave me for umm…the future," I say.

"The future?" she says confused.

"It is water colors that can only be painted on that specific kind of paper," I say. "It is made for umm, children."

Her face starts to blush as she realizes that I had spoken to Doctor Aurellis about having children later on. It was part of the packages that he was sending. I had asked him to get me some things for the future.

"Sorry," I say. "I know our previous conversation about this subject, so I didn't see an issue to have them use it."

Just then her mother calls her into the kitchen and she quickly obliges especially how she doesn't want to continue this conversation.

"Okay guys, I am going to go into the kitchen, but I want to see what you guys can paint," I say.

Walking into the kitchen, I see Sae, Katniss's mother, Annie, and now Katniss just there in the kitchen table.

"Good morning everyone," I say.

"Good morning Peeta," says Annie. "Thank you so much for offering your house for us to stay."

"Oh it is okay," I say. "We have plenty of room, and love having our friends over."

"Uncle Peeta," says April in a singsong voice from the living room.

"Yes," I say back in the same singsong voice.

"There is a weird looking lady standing in front of the door. She has purple hair," says April.

I look over to Katniss and we both say it at the same time.

"Effie."

I tell Katniss that I will see what Effie needs, but that she needs to be ready, knowing how punctual she needs us to be, especially today.

Opening the door, there stands Effie Trinket in her purple wig. I wonder if she has every shade of color. She stands there with her clip board and smiles when I open the door.

"Good morning Peeta," says Effie.

"Good morning, Effie," I say.

"Is Katniss in, we have a very big day today, and she has many appointments that we need to keep," says Effie.

"She is having breakfast," I say. "Would you care to come in and join us?"

She accepts the invitation to come in but declines the breakfast invitation saying that she had already eaten at the inn where she is staying.

As soon as Katniss sees Effie she immediately runs upstairs telling her that she will be right down.

"Peeta," says Effie. "Just a reminder that you have to be over at the Inn in about an hour to begin prep work."

"Yes, I remember," I say.

April comes up to Effie, looking at her in a confused way.

"Why do you have purple hair?" she says.

"Why because it is beautiful, don't you think?" says Effie.

"It looks like a cupcake is on your head," she says innocently.

"April, leave the young woman alone," says Sae from the kitchen. "I do apologize, she doesn't mean any offense, and she just speaks what she is thinking."

"It is quite alright," says Effie.

Knowing how Effie is, she is insulted but seeing how it was just a four year old she can learn to take it as a compliment.

April walks back from the kitchen and begins to color with the paint brush. She glances up every so often and then finally yells out.

"Finished!" she says walking over and handing it to me. There on the water color paper is a sun with a smiley face, and what seems to be a woman with purple hair.

I hand it to Effie.

"She has painted you, because she thought you looked beautiful," I say trying to salvage her feelings.

She smiles and looks at it.

"Well if I look like this I would be smiling," she says commenting on how slender she was in the painting.

Finally after about five to ten minutes Katniss comes downstairs shooting like a rocket. She walks up to me and gives me a quick kiss, which always gets a disgusted sound from the two kids.

"See you soon," she says.

"Yes for breakfast," I say.

She smiles and walks out with Effie.

Walking back to the kitchen, I ask if there is anything that I can do to make the ladies feel more comfortable. They each say no and I excuse myself walking upstairs to get dress.

It takes me literally about ten minutes to get changed and heading downstairs. I have to check on the cake and the flowers before heading to the inn. The celebration is being held in the Mayors house which can comfortably hold the sixty people. The added security is perfect for the Mayors house, and even some of the Capitol officials are staying in the Mayors house.

Once at the door, I tell them all that we will see them at the ceremony and walk outside. Getting to the Mayors house is like walking towards the school. It is down one of the main streets that have trees that canopy the road. It is the only road that has a healthy amount of cars that drive down it, most of them officials coming to visit.

It is a walk but finally making it, I see that the security is already stopping people who are trying to approach the Mayor's house. They allow me in and have to walk through two check points before making it to the Mayor's hall.

What I am looking now I just stand there trying to find the words, but the only word that I can come up with to describe how impactful the hall is.

"Beautiful," I say.

"Isn't it," someone says.

Turning I see a gentleman that more than likely is Effie's right hand man.

"It is," I say. "Whose idea was it for the design?"

"Well there was a young lady named Delly Cartwright," He says. "She mentioned the garden on the roof top of the Training Center."

Looking around the center pieces where these large plants that grew into the center aisle, almost like the canopy of the trees are holding up the ceiling of the hall.

The kitchen is where the cake is. Looking at it being prep for storage I examine the work that took me all day yesterday. Even William had to come and help me with the detailing. It is the same beautiful design of the forest, where we are finally free.

"Thank you so much for all you work," I say.

"It is my pleasure," he says.

It is only a couple minutes before the prep team has to get me ready at the inn. On the road I see that most of the guests are arriving. They greet me and congratulate me, thanking me for inviting them to the celebration. I of course have no idea who it is and from what district they are from but of course I say you're welcome and that I hope they enjoy themselves. It is all the Capitol training that Effie had given us, especially when we were meeting everyone in the President Mansion that time.

The walk back is quicker as I look at my watch. Most of the people are still at the Festival which today is the last day. Even Doctor Aurellis is there looking at the wonderful things that District Twelve has to offer.

My prep team is there waiting for me when I finally arrive to their room. They have the tux already on a hanger. There is one chair and four tables filled with crèmes and scissors, and lots and lots of notes.

I sit down and can only remember Portia. She always knew how to calm me down especially when the prep teams were going crazy. They start to cut my hair the old fashion way with scissors and a comb. After about thirty minutes they bring a mirror around me making sure that it is all the proper length.

They look at my skin and tell me that there are new advances in the science of burn crèmes and they will try the latest from the Capitol to see if they can't even out the color. The smell is very strong however and does cause them to have masks on in order to administer it.

It hardens to a white paste and then it has to be almost chiseled off in order to remove it. The sensation is tingling and well all new to me. I wasn't really someone who cared much about the physical aspects. It wasn't until the Games that I realized that some people place a lot of weight on it, to look a certain way and to act a certain way. It is all to tell a story.

The skin is amazingly soft though, and the tone did change a little, the newer skin almost matching the older skin. With no Games, the return of decency occurs and now the prep teams' leaves to let me get dress, before they would have stayed and seen me get undressed and dressed.

The suit is a very basic design, and classic. It does feel very light, checking the materials it doesn't feel like anything that I would have known. Every single piece of clothing is made of the same fabric. The white shirt that I put one, looks like a button down long sleeve but it feel like I am not wearing anything at all. The pants hang with a certain weight and falls perfectly almost like they were made to my specific measurements.

Just as I am going to put on my jacket there is a knock on the door.

"I am almost ready," I say through the door.

Then another knock. Walking back to the door I turn the knob and open the door. There on the other side stands a man looking for a conversation. Letting him into the room I grab a chair from the nearby desk.

"I knew you would come," I say.

"So you know what this is about," he says.

"Gale, we always knew one day one of us would have to come to the other's wedding," I say.

He sits down and unbuttons his jacket. His grey eyes are more still, almost like what he has seen has caused him to be more jaded than usual.

"How is she?" he asks.

"She is happy," I say. "For the first time in a long time, she is happy."

"I am not here to try and win her back," he says. "She made her choice back in the Capitol that day of the Tribunal."

"So, what are you doing here," I say. "You know if she sees you, then it will cause more harm than good."

"Will you promise me something?" he says.

"What is it?" I say.

"Never take her for granted, like I did," he says. "I thought that she would always be there for me, and I was never there for her when she needed me the most."

"I promise you, that it will never happen," I say.

He stands, sticks out his hand, which I accept.

"You take care of her," he says. "Or I will be back."

I give a nod and he opens the door walking out into the hallway. Standing from the bed I grab the jacket and put it on. Once I get the jacket on, the prep team comes back in and looks around giving me an approving nod.

"You ready?" they ask.

"Yes," I say.

We walk to the back of the Inn, where a car is waiting to take us to the Mayor's house. Once inside the driver has to carefully drive through the streets that now have been filled with photographers chasing the car.

Never did understand that, why people were so preoccupied with the pictures of other people. We never sought out fame; it was always something that we had never wanted.

Getting to the Mayor's house, I look at my watch and see that we are right on time. Everyone is in the courtyard that is behind the Mayor's house. The driver pulls to the front of the house where they open the door and tell me to go through the front and that someone would be waiting for me on the other side.

Walking through the foyer of the Mayor's house I see her there waiting for me.

"So am I still a snob?" I ask.

"No," she says. "You are one of my best friends."

"Delly, thank you so much helping me," I say.

"Hey that is what friends do," she says.

"No," I say. "Delly, I mean for helping me, not in the preparation of the wedding, but in everything. You will always be my best friend."

Getting to the door she gives me a kiss on the cheek and wishes me good luck. She walks into the ceremony and takes her seat. I see Katniss's mother there waiting besides the door.

"There is something that I wanted to tell you before," she says.

"What is that?" I say.

"Only that I know that you will make her happy," she says. "Thank you for letting her be a part of your family."

"You and Katniss are my family," I say. "Mom."

She smiles, looks up at me, and walks around me to fix my collar. It feels right to call her mom; she had always been one, even before I knew her. She helped my father when I was sick; she helped me when I was in the hospital. She always welcomed me in her home and now that she has accepted me as part of her family, she is now part of mines.

She walks with me to the courtyard where everyone is waiting. Opening the doors the view of the ceremony is as beautiful as the hall. With the overcast sun, you can see the flowers in the aisles. It is a very simple but beautiful garden wedding, a soft yellow and green, our favorite colors. She takes a seat in the front row, while I walk up the steps.

I see Thom at the altar and walk to him. Whenever it is asked of the Mayor, he can perform the official wedding. It isn't a tradition here in District Twelve; the most we do is a toasting and come to the Justice Building to get a license. Only if you ask the Mayor and are good friends with him can you request that he officiate the wedding.

"You ready?" he says.

"Been ready for almost fourteen years now," I say.

"You nervous," he says.

"Only a little," I say. "Will get better when I am able to hold her hand."

Whenever I feel nervous, or uneasy, just the touch of her hand calms me down. Waiting there I look up to the sky and see that the grey skies have hidden the sun from sight. It is almost five in the afternoon the sun should be setting in a couple of hours.

The soft music begins and everyone turns to the entry way. There you see little April and Liam walking down the aisle hand in hand, April throwing flower pedals on the ground and Liam holding onto her. She sees me, smiles and waves. Everyone just laughs a little. They sit down next to Katniss's mother.

All of the sudden I see someone I haven't seen in a while walking down the aisle. She is in a bridesmaid dress and of course as defiant as ever. There can be only one Johanna Mason, short brown hair. As she walks by me she winks at me with a smirk on her face. All I can do is smile and laugh a little.

Annie walks behind her and is still this very shy looking woman but smiles as she realizes that she is there for me just as I was there for her when she married Finnick. Little Liam runs to his little mother which only cause the crowd to laugh. She grabs him put him in her arms and carries her to her seat.

The music goes quiet and the doors close. This is the moment when the doors would open and the bride would stand there walking with her father. It took some convincing for Haymitch to do it sober but when he finally relented and agreed I was relieved that she wouldn't have to walk down the aisle alone.

The door opens and I see her there for the first time in Cinna's wedding dress. It is a beautiful white dress that has a design of white flames wrapping around the dress. It is a modern look with the one arm with a long sleeve and the other with no sleeve. Cressida had told me that Cinna had adapted the design after he saw that Johanna had cut into her arm to remove the tracker. She has her hair up in a very elaborate braid that is covered in lilies. It reminds me of that day up in the training center rooftop.

"And what are you doing up there?" She asks.

"I am practicing my knots with your hair," I say.

"Well make sure to unravel them after you are done, I don't want to walk around with knots and little flowers in my head." She says.

I just sit there and think to myself this has been a day that I could only dream of.

"What?" she asks.

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever," I say.

"Okay," she says.

I look down at her, wondering if I had heard right.

"Then you'll allow it?" I ask.

"I'll allow it," she says.

I smile and think this day could not get any better. I go back to playing with her hair and when I see she has fallen asleep. I continue to stroking her hair and just wish this day could last forever.

She is as serious as can be, until she sees me there standing. We both smile almost at the same time, and I can see that she as unsettled as I am. Good thing that Haymitch with his stone cold serious face is holding onto her.

You can tell that Haymitch is suffering through this, with no alcohol. He told me a while back, that the drinking was only to numb the pain, and to silence the screams that he still hears from his Quarter Quell.

They walk and I can see the flashes of the official photographer take her picture over and over again. The video camera focuses in on her, seeing how I can see the live feed from a distance in the front of the house.

She is just five feet away from me, when I stick out my hand. She looks at it, and without hesitation she hands me her hand. The warmth from her hand causes me my heart to slowly calm itself.

It is then that I can start to hear the gasps from the people in the crowd and when I look down, I start to see a flame ring that was part of the white flame of her dress begin to light up. It begins to dance like a fire would but of course it doesn't burn but pulsate at a specific rhythm. Her eyes open up wide as she points down to me. The black suit has a similar flame ring that wraps around my leg and up my waist and through my arm that is holds hers.

That is when I remember the card.

'Do not let go of her hand; ever.'

It was only when our hands touch that the flames came alive. It is a true testament to who we are, that as long as we are together the fire that burns within us are kindled.

I can still see it, in my mind there as a passing memory, the way she grabbed me by the wrists; I can still see the tears in her eyes. Just let me go. Please, I am not worth it.

"Don't let him take you from me." She says through the tears.

The images come back all like a flood.

"Don't die here! Look for the light!" my father yells at me.

"You get her to safety! It is your job now!" Jackson tells me.

"Fight it!" Mitchell yells.

Everything inside me, tells me one word. Every ounce of my being, tells me one phrase.

"Fight it!"

My breathing worsens and I feel that my lungs cannot get enough air.

"No. I don't want to…"

She grabs my hand and presses

"Stay with me."

The image comes and I see her in her bed. She held my hand and as she drifted to sleep she whispers. 'Stay with me.'

The sound slowly returns and the shaking begins to subside. I can still hear it come out of my lips.

"Always."

She looks at me with a smile. There with the flames dancing around her.

"Always," I say.

"Always," she repeats.

I can feel my heartbeat and can see that the rhythm around my suit is pulsates at the same beat of my heart. If that is the case then the rhythm of hers has to be her heart beat as well.

I can see that everyone has been gasping, on the beauty of the dress and the brilliance that was Cinna.

"Always with the fire," she leans in and whispers.

"I know," I say. "I can't exactly rip off your dress, now can I?"

We both smile as she realizes that it was what I told her when they first lit us up for the Opening Ceremony.

Turning to face Thom, he looks at us, both pulsating with a gold flame.

"Never seen a wedding dress do that before," he says as everyone begins to laugh. "But there is nothing normal or ordinary about these two."

Everyone nods in agreement and finally we can begin the small ceremony.

"When these two young people asked me to perform this ceremony, I thought that if we can find two more perfect people for each other, these two would be it. They have been through it all, and even now before you, they are still learning from each other. Love is about a true fight to be together; against all odds these two have battled and have found each other. Through the pain that we have all suffered they have suffered just as much, have lost just as much and still they found each other.

That my friends are what we call love that has stood the test of time. It is what true love looks like when you really think about it.

So Peeta, I ask you now in front of all these witnesses that would you promise to always love Katniss until the end of time."

"Every day, every morning, every night, I will love her, and she will know that she is loved. She has been the only one that has been in my dreams and to this day she is the only one that I want there with me" I say. "I promise."

"Katniss, by the way you look simply beautiful in that dress," he begins to say. "I ask you now in front of all these witnesses that would you promise to always love Peeta until the end of time."

"I have never been good with promises like these, or with words like Peeta is, but there is something about seeing him every day, and being with him every day, that I can promise you this today. That every day I will love you," she says. "I promise.

"Promises are something that we here in District Twelve never take for granted and have been known to always complete. By you letting us all know that you promise each other to love one and another, I can say officially that you two are husband and wife. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Mr. Peeta Mellark, and his wife Katniss Mellark," says Thom.

Everything goes silent, I can see the people clapping and smiling, but no sound comes out of them. Dropping her hand, I cup her face in both my hands. Wiping the tear with my thumb, I lift her chin to where our eyes meet. Her passionate grey eyes, I can get lost in them forever. I lean in slowly, and when our lips meet there is a sense of love and joy that likes that I have never met. She puts her arms around my back and there in that moment I knew that I was home.


	30. Chapter 30

EPILOGUE

Looking at the pictures that Cressida had given me it brings me to smile in the early mornings. I cannot believe that it has been fifteen years since we have had the ceremony in the Mayor's house.

The PRIM center continues to teach and inspire children to reach for their truest potential. They do teach about the Games, and well it something that scares Katniss. The words of President Paylor are what calm her. "Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."

The Bakery continues to be producing many pastries and cakes. We have so many aspiring bakers that I hardly have to go into the shop. I still do, because it is something that I love.

They have asked me to teach classes at the PRIM institute along with Katniss about archery which she loves.

We have finished the house by the lake a couple years ago; however we live in our house in the Victors Village.

Katniss is singing more and more each day which I love to hear. I have been painting more and more, this time it is for the PRIM institute about hope and dreams of children playing.

It did happen one day though.

Lying there with her on our bed, we hold hands and look at it through the sunlight that is peeking through the curtains.

Picking up the notebook, I begin to write a little bit of what I remembered. Doctor Aurellis had given me a suggestion on the notebook to make sure that any memory I remember that it would be written down. Katniss would always both scratch it out and tell me that it didn't happen, or circle it and said that it did. On those that she wasn't there I would find ways to get clarification on.

"Peeta," she says.

"Hmm," I say putting down my pencil and looking at her.

"I saw the paintings in the courtyard of the center, of the two sisters looking at the display case of the bakery," she says. "Was that of me and Prim?"

"Yes, it reminded me of those days that I was too scared to talk to you," I say.

She is quiet there thinking about something. She turns and looks at me in my eyes.

"What are your thoughts on building a swing set in the front of our house," she says.

The thought of it brings me back to that day with April who is now grown and dating Liam. There are even rumors of both of them getting married.

'Well I didn't think it possible but I love you more today than I did yesterday and yesterday was with all my heart,' I say.

She smiles and tells me that it isn't humanely possible to love someone that much. I know that in my mind that is true, but in my heart is another question, it is like rationale doesn't exist in my heart, only her. She is right now thinking with her mind, and that the most you can love is by giving your life for another.

'And you already did that,' she says. 'But you know.'

She starts to rub her hands and mines on her stomach.

'It might not be a bad thing,' says Katniss. 'But maybe one day, later. We can build a swing set.'

It is the possibility of having children with her; that she is open to it, that causes me to have a renew happiness. It is really just the possibility that I love, right now actually I am happy with just being with her, right here, right now, in this little house, in the Victors Village in District Twelve.

Looking at her now I think about the thought of building the swing set.

"You really mean it?" I say.

She nods yes and smiles.

END OF BOOK FOUR

Thank you to all who have journey with me through the life of Peeta. Writing this has allowed me to experience his life through my eyes, and I hope that I was able to show you that through the writings. There are thoughts of writing a fifth book, however nothing confirmed yet.

As always thank you.

E.W.S.


	31. Chapter 31

The Fifth book has already begun, be on the look out for Deep in the Meadow.

Check it out in my books written section.


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